I have always took pride in the notion that I would never give up control to someone else. Essentially what that means is that I will never be compatible with BDSM aspects. Now before you go off thinking "wow she has this all wrong and the aspect is more about building bonds of truth" let me explain. Also don't feel sorry for me when you read it.
You see for the better part of my life I grew up with Dad who drank heavily and smoked just as much. He was heavily controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my mom. I could go into what he did to me but I am not. Those demons are long gone and buried the wounds are closed so to speak. Now before he died during the last year of his life he made an effort to change and got better with us. On December 30 2013 I found him dead in the living room collapsed in the recliner. His death shook me for good two or three weeks.
Finally after those weeks, I woke up one morning I felt different like some sort of energy had bombarded me and soaked into every cell of my body. I woke up realized I am free I am no longer controlled by someone, I am free to be myself and never give up that control to anyone else ever again.
The thing to take away from all of this is this.
"I ve got no strings to hold me down, to make fret or to make me frown. I had strings but now I am free, there are no strings on me"
You see for the better part of my life I grew up with Dad who drank heavily and smoked just as much. He was heavily controlling and verbally and emotionally abusive to me and my mom. I could go into what he did to me but I am not. Those demons are long gone and buried the wounds are closed so to speak. Now before he died during the last year of his life he made an effort to change and got better with us. On December 30 2013 I found him dead in the living room collapsed in the recliner. His death shook me for good two or three weeks.
Finally after those weeks, I woke up one morning I felt different like some sort of energy had bombarded me and soaked into every cell of my body. I woke up realized I am free I am no longer controlled by someone, I am free to be myself and never give up that control to anyone else ever again.
The thing to take away from all of this is this.
"I ve got no strings to hold me down, to make fret or to make me frown. I had strings but now I am free, there are no strings on me"
