Where does the need to submit come from? When I think of that feeling, that need to yield, to be restrained, to be filled, surrounded, overwhelmed, it is like a primal power, an energy deep within me. It feels old, no ageless, as if I’m being connected to the eternal, the beginning of all things. It feels lifting, like I’m ascending out of my body , like my being is becoming calm, still. I feel as if I’m at one with …I don’t know, everything.
The definition of the word submit is to yield oneself to the authority or will of another: surrender. Somehow that does not feel like a satisfactory definition. Yet, at the same time different people have different feelings on what submission really is, what is appropriate in the act of submission, and where the need to submit comes from.
Perhaps it is proof that human beings really are just animals. Perhaps it is simply instinct, perhaps that is where this feeling of something primal , a thing within that will not be denied comes from.
At the height of my ecstasy I feel that connection to an eternal, almost violent , yet calming power. For some reason the word power comes to mind, instead of energy or presence. Yes, that thing deep within tells me that power is very appropriate. It’s funny that such a word would be linked with submission. That in my submission I find power, maybe it is true what some say that the submissive holds the true power.
Another word that surfaces is will. We are all born with free will, and it is with that free will that we consent to submit to those we see fit. Does having that will equal power? Is that will the true power? The power to give the gift of submission? Yes, maybe in a D/s relationship it is not power I am giving to my Top, but control. Now I fear that I may be going around in circles.
For me I believe that me perfect Top would be someone who could dominate me physically and mentally. Not only do I need a good mind fuck from someone who I know to be strong in mind, but I also need to be put in my place. To be forced, to feel that person’s strength , power, and control. Suddenly within my mind I see the image of two colliding forces, mine and Their's, struggling for dominance. Even though I desire to submit I can not just give it all, first I have to feel Their power, as well as Their energy, those things inside us must be able to be compatible like the forces of yin/yang, so that there is a balance, yet continuous change and interaction. Someone that I know would be able to protect me no matter what; even if it meant that They would need to protect me from myself..
All this has lead me to think that submission is simply a part of my nature.
The definition of the word submit is to yield oneself to the authority or will of another: surrender. Somehow that does not feel like a satisfactory definition. Yet, at the same time different people have different feelings on what submission really is, what is appropriate in the act of submission, and where the need to submit comes from.
Perhaps it is proof that human beings really are just animals. Perhaps it is simply instinct, perhaps that is where this feeling of something primal , a thing within that will not be denied comes from.
At the height of my ecstasy I feel that connection to an eternal, almost violent , yet calming power. For some reason the word power comes to mind, instead of energy or presence. Yes, that thing deep within tells me that power is very appropriate. It’s funny that such a word would be linked with submission. That in my submission I find power, maybe it is true what some say that the submissive holds the true power.
Another word that surfaces is will. We are all born with free will, and it is with that free will that we consent to submit to those we see fit. Does having that will equal power? Is that will the true power? The power to give the gift of submission? Yes, maybe in a D/s relationship it is not power I am giving to my Top, but control. Now I fear that I may be going around in circles.
For me I believe that me perfect Top would be someone who could dominate me physically and mentally. Not only do I need a good mind fuck from someone who I know to be strong in mind, but I also need to be put in my place. To be forced, to feel that person’s strength , power, and control. Suddenly within my mind I see the image of two colliding forces, mine and Their's, struggling for dominance. Even though I desire to submit I can not just give it all, first I have to feel Their power, as well as Their energy, those things inside us must be able to be compatible like the forces of yin/yang, so that there is a balance, yet continuous change and interaction. Someone that I know would be able to protect me no matter what; even if it meant that They would need to protect me from myself..
All this has lead me to think that submission is simply a part of my nature.
