I'm sure no one is going to see it this way.. but.. as I see it.
The first "Even Keel" thread, as I've said before.. completely my fault. Should not have posted it in the main forum, ill advised. Why did I do it? I had already lost a friend who had found a gf a short time before, and was afraid it was going to happen again. If I received a hammering in that thread,.,. that was my doing.
"The posting personal issues thread". In spite of the person who posted the thread's vehenment denial. That thread was nothing more than an extension of the other thread.. to take more potshots at me.
The public apology thread., whether people choose to believe it or not.. the sincere intent in that thread was to try and make amends for what happened in the rant thread about my friend. To me, if I had seen that, the reply would have been "Okay, dont do it again, move on." Instead, it was bait for more hammering by the same people. I'm told to let the thread die, but not before I take a good hammering again.
Without saying who it was of course.. someone I talked to, on the forum, told me that they feel everything is 100% my fault. That's an extremely simplistic view. Those in my world who know the truth, know differently. This person simplistically summized that all the problems I have in my interpersonal relationships are my fault. Yes, right. I, who was extremely nervous at seeing people I hadnt in 25 years, 24 hrs after my mom's funeral, made the cousins take potshots at my mom and me. I asked them to do that. After accepting an apology from my uncle, for basically breaklng up my family.. I forced him to say that my father and I should have been estranged.
I cant justify it anymore, nor am I going to. No matter what I say, I will be villified, attacked, defamed, belittled, and cursed, and it will be allowed.
If so much hadnt already happened to me this year, I would leave the forum, either for a break, or permanently. For whatever reason, in spite of all that has gone on, I cant bring myself to do that, so, all I am going to do is simply not comment on anything. I will post no more main forum rants, updates, etc etc etc. If I want to do something, I would post a blog post on April 4th, and thats it. The feedback I encounter is more trouble than its worth.
To those who have truly meant well, I have appreciated your support, and I'm sorry I disappoint anyone. To those few people who merely follow me around just for the purpose of hammering me, and being "trollish", that is inexcusble.
The first "Even Keel" thread, as I've said before.. completely my fault. Should not have posted it in the main forum, ill advised. Why did I do it? I had already lost a friend who had found a gf a short time before, and was afraid it was going to happen again. If I received a hammering in that thread,.,. that was my doing.
"The posting personal issues thread". In spite of the person who posted the thread's vehenment denial. That thread was nothing more than an extension of the other thread.. to take more potshots at me.
The public apology thread., whether people choose to believe it or not.. the sincere intent in that thread was to try and make amends for what happened in the rant thread about my friend. To me, if I had seen that, the reply would have been "Okay, dont do it again, move on." Instead, it was bait for more hammering by the same people. I'm told to let the thread die, but not before I take a good hammering again.
Without saying who it was of course.. someone I talked to, on the forum, told me that they feel everything is 100% my fault. That's an extremely simplistic view. Those in my world who know the truth, know differently. This person simplistically summized that all the problems I have in my interpersonal relationships are my fault. Yes, right. I, who was extremely nervous at seeing people I hadnt in 25 years, 24 hrs after my mom's funeral, made the cousins take potshots at my mom and me. I asked them to do that. After accepting an apology from my uncle, for basically breaklng up my family.. I forced him to say that my father and I should have been estranged.
I cant justify it anymore, nor am I going to. No matter what I say, I will be villified, attacked, defamed, belittled, and cursed, and it will be allowed.
If so much hadnt already happened to me this year, I would leave the forum, either for a break, or permanently. For whatever reason, in spite of all that has gone on, I cant bring myself to do that, so, all I am going to do is simply not comment on anything. I will post no more main forum rants, updates, etc etc etc. If I want to do something, I would post a blog post on April 4th, and thats it. The feedback I encounter is more trouble than its worth.
To those who have truly meant well, I have appreciated your support, and I'm sorry I disappoint anyone. To those few people who merely follow me around just for the purpose of hammering me, and being "trollish", that is inexcusble.
