This is another model I use to observe and process the human experience. As I've stated before, it's important to remember that the purpose of a model is not necessarily to attempt to be literally accurate, and is instead more for conceptualizing complex ideas and for observing or achieving meaningful outcomes.
This time, I'll be describing the self, or more specifically, the two parts that make it up. Now, the idea that the self is comprised of parts is not a new one. Even just looking at the mental aspect of the self, you have many variations of the idea of the conscious and subconscious mind. Psychologists, philosophers, and witchdoctors have been creating models for these two components for ages. This will be my own simplified way of processing those same concepts. The mind, however, is not the only element that is considered when I think of the self. . I do not find that the complexity created by trying to strictly define where the body ends and the mind begins to be helpful when thinking about human behavior. The self is an entanglement of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual (whatever that means to you) elements that are not so easily divided from one another. As a lens for observing behavior, it is better to think of both the conscious self and subconscious self as each being connected to these elements.
The Conscious Self: This is your aware self, and is what most people identify with when they think of who they are. This also includes the conscious control of your body. This is the part of you that takes very deliberate actions and has decided to hold on to certain values and beliefs. Logic and reason are the primary modalities that operate within this half of the self.
The Subconscious Self: The lesser understood of the two, this half of the self is the unaware half of your existence. Here feelings, emotions, and abstractions are primary driving forces. Bodily reflexes and subconscious bodily functions, anxiety, and similar things are all associated with this half.
Several ideas around the subconscious self are what prompted me to write this in the first place. I think when looking at people's behavior, we often overlook the subconscious self, or at least the connection between the two selves. That makes sense, though. It's hard to accept or acknowledge a part of us that largely behaves on its own, and without the awareness component, it's really uncomfortable to include that in the definition of what makes up a person's self. But it's really there. Ever do something that you really didn't want to, or intend to? Ever feel differently about something than you wanted to? The subconscious self is where these come from!
I have observed a lot of people who are at war with their subconscious self, either due to them not finding a way to maintain a peaceful coexistence with it, or due to them fighting the acknowledgement of it being a part of them in the first place. Denial is a real thing, and has real consequences! Many people think of the subconscious self as their dark side: A place where evil and sin are born and a part of them that must be hidden away, buried, or killed off completely. And perhaps to some extent, it is our dark side. Certainly dark, evil things can come out of it. But it's a part of us, and we only hurt ourselves by dealing with it in unconstructive ways.
I like to think of the subconscious self as the part of us that is still an animal. If you look at all the animals throughout nature, you see that many are much like us. They eat, sleep, and breathe. Many have comparable anatomical structures to that of our own. Hearts, lungs, stomachs, and more. They also share some of our motivating forces: Hunger, thirst, sex, pain avoidance, etc. Where we differ is that we have a higher self–a conscious self. We have conscious values, goals, aspirations, and ponderances. On a strict biological basis, very few would argue that we aren't animals, but when it comes to looking at the behavior of ourselves or others in our day-to-day lives, we're more likely to suppress that notion. There may be a sense of shame or distaste for the idea that we, as elevated beings, could even possibly be animals.
This disconnect between the selves is an unhealthy state, causing us to not behave as one, just as a society can be dysfunctional when different people or groups within it don't treat the others as part of the whole. Ignoring your subconscious self is a dangerous and counter-productive way of dealing with aspects of your personality and behavior that you find undesirable. This can go too far the other way as well–you don't want your subconscious self to take over completely either! Take an example of someone who has anger issues. That anger may be internalized from primarily a single source, such as a traumatic experience, or may be a meld of many small experiences that have built up within the person over time. In any case, that anger can be accepted into the conscious self where it can be dealt with in a more productive and lasting way, or it can be ignored and shoved down deeper into the subconscious self where it will be dealt with, either in the short term or the long term, as violent or negative emotional expression. Trying to deal with such feelings in the conscious self alone may not satisfy the need, while dealing with it exclusively in the subconscious self is irresponsible, like handing a weapon to a child. Dealing with your thoughts, feelings, and impulses with both halves of the self is the necessary balance for a healthy outcome.
To further illustrate with the anger example, I'll give an experience of my own. Now, I don't really have any real recurring anger issues (I like to think of myself as a generally peaceful guy), but just as human as the next person and sometimes things get to me. The best example of this is if I accidentally hit my head on something, like say as I raise up and hit my head on a cabinet door I left open. I immediately get an immense sense of anger and an almost overwhelming urge to rip the cabinet apart with my bare hands and grind it into pulp with my teeth. It's a very programmed animalistic feeling generated by the subconscious self. I can feel my heart racing and I am ready for battle. It is in that moment that I have a decision to make: take control with the conscious self and think it through, or go over the cliff of no return, leaning into the demands of the subconscious self. I am happy to report that I have lost zero cabinets so far! Here's the thing, though, afterward, the agitation is not completely dissolved. The conscious self took control and processed some of the feelings (and saved a cabinet), but the subconscious self is not fully satisfied. It is now up to the conscious self to care for the subconscious self and provide a healthy outlet. Examples may include exercise, controlled emotional expression, or similar outlets.
Anger, of course, is not the only human experience that applies–as I said, just an example. Think of experiences that generate sadness, jealousy, regret, etc. And, as is so often true with human experiences, multiple feelings are often associated with a single experience, making them all the more important to process appropriately. Allowing residual unprocessed feelings to build up is just asking for an uncontrollable eruption from the subconscious self. If managing your feelings and experiences this way sounds like a lot of work, that may be because you have been in a pattern of not doing it for so long. Just because something is challenging at first, doesn't mean it's not the healthy or right thing to do. And it often gets easier and more rewarding with time and practice. The important thing to remember while you are practicing keeping yourself in balance is that you will fail. Mistakes happen and you learn from them. How you treat yourself and how you think of your subconscious half will help set the tone for true long term success or failure. Instead of just thinking something is wrong with you, or worse, not acknowledging that animalistic subconscious part of you, with it's unique needs and challenges, recognize that there is a part of you that is not always linked up to the conscious part of you and resolve to work on what went wrong. Ignoring the subconscious self is much like ignoring a screaming child; the issue is unlikely to resolve in reasonable time. Make peace with that metaphorical inner child and help it to trust you. If you don't, you will continuously be working against yourself throughout your life.
Like most of what I write, I initially wrote this for myself to help me process the ideas within, but if you have any realizations or applicable experiences, I'd love to hear about them. In the future I hope to write something more focused on the dark elements of the subconscious, especially as it relates to certain aspects of kink and sexuality. Until then, thanks for reading and take care!
This time, I'll be describing the self, or more specifically, the two parts that make it up. Now, the idea that the self is comprised of parts is not a new one. Even just looking at the mental aspect of the self, you have many variations of the idea of the conscious and subconscious mind. Psychologists, philosophers, and witchdoctors have been creating models for these two components for ages. This will be my own simplified way of processing those same concepts. The mind, however, is not the only element that is considered when I think of the self. . I do not find that the complexity created by trying to strictly define where the body ends and the mind begins to be helpful when thinking about human behavior. The self is an entanglement of mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual (whatever that means to you) elements that are not so easily divided from one another. As a lens for observing behavior, it is better to think of both the conscious self and subconscious self as each being connected to these elements.
The Conscious Self: This is your aware self, and is what most people identify with when they think of who they are. This also includes the conscious control of your body. This is the part of you that takes very deliberate actions and has decided to hold on to certain values and beliefs. Logic and reason are the primary modalities that operate within this half of the self.
The Subconscious Self: The lesser understood of the two, this half of the self is the unaware half of your existence. Here feelings, emotions, and abstractions are primary driving forces. Bodily reflexes and subconscious bodily functions, anxiety, and similar things are all associated with this half.
Several ideas around the subconscious self are what prompted me to write this in the first place. I think when looking at people's behavior, we often overlook the subconscious self, or at least the connection between the two selves. That makes sense, though. It's hard to accept or acknowledge a part of us that largely behaves on its own, and without the awareness component, it's really uncomfortable to include that in the definition of what makes up a person's self. But it's really there. Ever do something that you really didn't want to, or intend to? Ever feel differently about something than you wanted to? The subconscious self is where these come from!
I have observed a lot of people who are at war with their subconscious self, either due to them not finding a way to maintain a peaceful coexistence with it, or due to them fighting the acknowledgement of it being a part of them in the first place. Denial is a real thing, and has real consequences! Many people think of the subconscious self as their dark side: A place where evil and sin are born and a part of them that must be hidden away, buried, or killed off completely. And perhaps to some extent, it is our dark side. Certainly dark, evil things can come out of it. But it's a part of us, and we only hurt ourselves by dealing with it in unconstructive ways.
I like to think of the subconscious self as the part of us that is still an animal. If you look at all the animals throughout nature, you see that many are much like us. They eat, sleep, and breathe. Many have comparable anatomical structures to that of our own. Hearts, lungs, stomachs, and more. They also share some of our motivating forces: Hunger, thirst, sex, pain avoidance, etc. Where we differ is that we have a higher self–a conscious self. We have conscious values, goals, aspirations, and ponderances. On a strict biological basis, very few would argue that we aren't animals, but when it comes to looking at the behavior of ourselves or others in our day-to-day lives, we're more likely to suppress that notion. There may be a sense of shame or distaste for the idea that we, as elevated beings, could even possibly be animals.
This disconnect between the selves is an unhealthy state, causing us to not behave as one, just as a society can be dysfunctional when different people or groups within it don't treat the others as part of the whole. Ignoring your subconscious self is a dangerous and counter-productive way of dealing with aspects of your personality and behavior that you find undesirable. This can go too far the other way as well–you don't want your subconscious self to take over completely either! Take an example of someone who has anger issues. That anger may be internalized from primarily a single source, such as a traumatic experience, or may be a meld of many small experiences that have built up within the person over time. In any case, that anger can be accepted into the conscious self where it can be dealt with in a more productive and lasting way, or it can be ignored and shoved down deeper into the subconscious self where it will be dealt with, either in the short term or the long term, as violent or negative emotional expression. Trying to deal with such feelings in the conscious self alone may not satisfy the need, while dealing with it exclusively in the subconscious self is irresponsible, like handing a weapon to a child. Dealing with your thoughts, feelings, and impulses with both halves of the self is the necessary balance for a healthy outcome.
To further illustrate with the anger example, I'll give an experience of my own. Now, I don't really have any real recurring anger issues (I like to think of myself as a generally peaceful guy), but just as human as the next person and sometimes things get to me. The best example of this is if I accidentally hit my head on something, like say as I raise up and hit my head on a cabinet door I left open. I immediately get an immense sense of anger and an almost overwhelming urge to rip the cabinet apart with my bare hands and grind it into pulp with my teeth. It's a very programmed animalistic feeling generated by the subconscious self. I can feel my heart racing and I am ready for battle. It is in that moment that I have a decision to make: take control with the conscious self and think it through, or go over the cliff of no return, leaning into the demands of the subconscious self. I am happy to report that I have lost zero cabinets so far! Here's the thing, though, afterward, the agitation is not completely dissolved. The conscious self took control and processed some of the feelings (and saved a cabinet), but the subconscious self is not fully satisfied. It is now up to the conscious self to care for the subconscious self and provide a healthy outlet. Examples may include exercise, controlled emotional expression, or similar outlets.
Anger, of course, is not the only human experience that applies–as I said, just an example. Think of experiences that generate sadness, jealousy, regret, etc. And, as is so often true with human experiences, multiple feelings are often associated with a single experience, making them all the more important to process appropriately. Allowing residual unprocessed feelings to build up is just asking for an uncontrollable eruption from the subconscious self. If managing your feelings and experiences this way sounds like a lot of work, that may be because you have been in a pattern of not doing it for so long. Just because something is challenging at first, doesn't mean it's not the healthy or right thing to do. And it often gets easier and more rewarding with time and practice. The important thing to remember while you are practicing keeping yourself in balance is that you will fail. Mistakes happen and you learn from them. How you treat yourself and how you think of your subconscious half will help set the tone for true long term success or failure. Instead of just thinking something is wrong with you, or worse, not acknowledging that animalistic subconscious part of you, with it's unique needs and challenges, recognize that there is a part of you that is not always linked up to the conscious part of you and resolve to work on what went wrong. Ignoring the subconscious self is much like ignoring a screaming child; the issue is unlikely to resolve in reasonable time. Make peace with that metaphorical inner child and help it to trust you. If you don't, you will continuously be working against yourself throughout your life.
Like most of what I write, I initially wrote this for myself to help me process the ideas within, but if you have any realizations or applicable experiences, I'd love to hear about them. In the future I hope to write something more focused on the dark elements of the subconscious, especially as it relates to certain aspects of kink and sexuality. Until then, thanks for reading and take care!
