I used to love to stuff my face with chinese food at the buffet every week. I couldnt wait to get there, and then I would pile the food on. Today, I went for chinese food for the first time since the day my mom came home from the hospital, which was two and a half weeks ago. I ate my plates of food, paid my money, and left. It all seemed.. not terribly important.
Opening day baseball season. It's next Monday for the Braves. It used to be, I'd get psyched weeks in advance about it, and count the days until the Mets and Braves played each other for the first time in a particular season.
(This year, their first meeting is April
23rd at Citi Field). Now, both dates seem almost trivial. I'm sure I'll watch some games this year. I just ordered the extra innings package for my TV.
Everything, no matter how much I used to enjoy it, just seems... hollow.. now. I watched Wedding Crashers On Demand this weekend, and I did enjoy, and pay attention to it, more than just about anything since my mom's diagnosis.
I'm guessing such is normal when the closest person to you has been diagnosed with cancer. Things which used to seem really important, just aren't anymore, and the only thing that really matters, is the treatment, health, and hopeful (God willing) cure of the person you love so much who is sick.
My friends and relatives tell me I have a down, somber sound to my voice, and a hollow look in my eyes. The only thing that would seem to matter much to me now would be for my mom's upcoming treatment to work, so that she can live a decent life, indefinitely. Besides that, other things which used to seem important, just seem.. mundane.
The only things that matter to me now are my mom and her treatment, responsibilities I have, (of course), and the support of my wonderful friends online and in real life.
I'm guessing all I'm feeling is normal. I suppose I just had to post about it.
Mitch
To put into perspective: I'm not sure that even, for example, seeing a movie of Mandy Moore being held up, and tickled, by a gang of tickling bandits, who then forced her to stand barefoot on a ten foot tall ladder, as they made their getaway, would help me right now. I guess I'm just in that state of mind.
Opening day baseball season. It's next Monday for the Braves. It used to be, I'd get psyched weeks in advance about it, and count the days until the Mets and Braves played each other for the first time in a particular season.
(This year, their first meeting is April
23rd at Citi Field). Now, both dates seem almost trivial. I'm sure I'll watch some games this year. I just ordered the extra innings package for my TV.
Everything, no matter how much I used to enjoy it, just seems... hollow.. now. I watched Wedding Crashers On Demand this weekend, and I did enjoy, and pay attention to it, more than just about anything since my mom's diagnosis.
I'm guessing such is normal when the closest person to you has been diagnosed with cancer. Things which used to seem really important, just aren't anymore, and the only thing that really matters, is the treatment, health, and hopeful (God willing) cure of the person you love so much who is sick.
My friends and relatives tell me I have a down, somber sound to my voice, and a hollow look in my eyes. The only thing that would seem to matter much to me now would be for my mom's upcoming treatment to work, so that she can live a decent life, indefinitely. Besides that, other things which used to seem important, just seem.. mundane.
The only things that matter to me now are my mom and her treatment, responsibilities I have, (of course), and the support of my wonderful friends online and in real life.
I'm guessing all I'm feeling is normal. I suppose I just had to post about it.
Mitch
To put into perspective: I'm not sure that even, for example, seeing a movie of Mandy Moore being held up, and tickled, by a gang of tickling bandits, who then forced her to stand barefoot on a ten foot tall ladder, as they made their getaway, would help me right now. I guess I'm just in that state of mind.
