So I appear to be having one of those moments/periods where all I do is alienate those close to me out of selfishness... My prospects for this week are grim for any semblance of doing anything remotely social due to a combination of work and home responsibilities - especially due to the fact that my mom and her bf are enjoying their vacation out east. Work-wise also hits hard as out of the 10 days the adults are gone, I work 8 of those days and the shifts are vastly varied which leaves no room to plan.
Now I fully understand my responsibilities and have no problem carrying both of them out but it's still hard when you want to spend even one day/night with your friends and/or girlfriend and you can't even do that. It's also hitting home that in just over one month my social landscape changes dramatically. See my girlfriend and her brother each have a contract to do some work out west and they both leave around the tail-end of August/ beginning of September. They'll make good money but that time away is gonna be hard to deal with. On top another good friend of mine has about 85-90% intention of moving away at the beginning of September and, as of this summer, those 3 people were the three I've hung out most with. Now I do have many other friends here but I don't do a lot of stuff with them - mostly that our schedules conflict but also that they have moved on in their lives and we just don't hang out anymore.
That combination of current isolation and expected isolation caught up with me and I began to speak to one of my friends in a selfish way. Though I quickly backtracked, and my friend did forgive me, I still feel awful for being that way - especially since I felt that I may have put a damper on what was a good night my friend was having with my stupidity.
With the new hockey season approaching, all I can do right now is focus on the decent influx of work coming and finding a better job then the ones I have. The only major thing I have to look forward to now is mine and my gf's one-year anniversary in mid-August but after that there isn't a whole lot to look forward to or go on. I guess what I'll have to do is keep in best contact with all of my friends and make the best of what is shown or given to me - adapt. Doesn't make it any easier though when all you seem to do is count down the days to when 3 of the most important people in your life all go away...
Now I fully understand my responsibilities and have no problem carrying both of them out but it's still hard when you want to spend even one day/night with your friends and/or girlfriend and you can't even do that. It's also hitting home that in just over one month my social landscape changes dramatically. See my girlfriend and her brother each have a contract to do some work out west and they both leave around the tail-end of August/ beginning of September. They'll make good money but that time away is gonna be hard to deal with. On top another good friend of mine has about 85-90% intention of moving away at the beginning of September and, as of this summer, those 3 people were the three I've hung out most with. Now I do have many other friends here but I don't do a lot of stuff with them - mostly that our schedules conflict but also that they have moved on in their lives and we just don't hang out anymore.
That combination of current isolation and expected isolation caught up with me and I began to speak to one of my friends in a selfish way. Though I quickly backtracked, and my friend did forgive me, I still feel awful for being that way - especially since I felt that I may have put a damper on what was a good night my friend was having with my stupidity.
With the new hockey season approaching, all I can do right now is focus on the decent influx of work coming and finding a better job then the ones I have. The only major thing I have to look forward to now is mine and my gf's one-year anniversary in mid-August but after that there isn't a whole lot to look forward to or go on. I guess what I'll have to do is keep in best contact with all of my friends and make the best of what is shown or given to me - adapt. Doesn't make it any easier though when all you seem to do is count down the days to when 3 of the most important people in your life all go away...
