So....
Within the last week, I've been following two posts about tears and tickling. One is located here, and one is located on Reddit.
The one here, frankly, irritated me. I suppose I was irritated because a couple of reasons. In my opinion/ perspective, it was centered around whether or not seeing the tears from a ticklee in a scene are turn ons or turn offs for the lers (and I guess those watching). And I suppose the irritation of it was so very centered around what the ler wanted and the lers needs when honestly, the scene should most definitely have the lee's (who is giving up the complete control) needs/ desires in mind as well. (To be fair, many of the posters did mention the comfort of the lee.)
Then it twisted away from turn offs exactly to what video companies should do to communicate to those buying videos that the lee actually consented to the tear-inducing tickling scene. Some of them wanting a warning to appear before the video. And this all felt so much like, "No animals were harmed in the making of this video." It just felt so odd to me.
It was almost as if, instead of acknowledging that there may be many reasons that lees cry, and that it truly may not take away from the actual scene, or that it may even still be an enjoyable scene to the lee and the ler... since it was not a turn on or wanted by those posters, scenes/ play that resulted in tears were pretty much marked as abuse by the end of the thread. And the conclusion sort of was drawn without maybe acknowledging that Lees and Lers do enjoy tickling on various levels, and that with consent this should not be met with shame within the group of us who are sharing the same kink. The conclusion was also drawn and companies were also named without acknowledging the fact that some of those same companies publish interviews from the lees after the tickling. Often the lees come back. Also, most reasons lees do not comeback are unstated/shared. So our conclusions of why they don't are purely conjecture. So why assume abuse?
The tone also seemed as if it was assumed that the lees' choices could NEVER be to want to be tickled so much that they would cry... And that they could not have given consent from and how awful tickling on this level is.
The conversation around this topic should go so much deeper than tears making your dick grow soft so it must be bad. Of course, there are times when for the lee, it does go too far. So yes, this is not to downplay the importance of communication and clear boundaries beforehand. But this was about turn ons. Should the next step be that since you don't like it everyone should put extra warnings and fanfare to prove it isn't as bad as you think it is?
The post on Reddit was just the OP asking questions about it. It allowed for open dialogue without as much judgement. It allowed the lee or the ler to talk about what is enjoyable or what is not enjoyable. And I felt as if I could explain the different reasons why (when I am the lee) tears may happen in a scene. If the lers actually knew their lee and possibly knew the reason for the tears, perhaps they wouldn't be so quick to assume that tears are bad or a sign of abuse or a complete and utter turn off.
After all... if it is a turn off.... why are you interested in the video at all? Why within the kink is this labeled as abuse? Why is it automatically a negative experience just because you aren't into it? So odd....
So.... If you're still with me or interested, here is why I cry sometimes when I am being tickled, and why tickling is pretty fun and awesome for me whether I cry or not.
Tickled to Tears? Questions: Anyone experienced that? Do you enjoy it at all as its happening? Do you still laugh at the tickles?
My Response: Yes....
I love it and often crave it AND ask for it.
Yes I still laugh. Sometimes I cry because I'm just laughing so hard that tears start to fall, but I'm really enjoying myself.
Sometimes I cry because I am releasing all of the stress and junk for the day, and the tickling/ joy from it comes through with my happy tears.
Sometimes I cry because the ler is kicking my ass and tickling the hell out of me and I can't stand it or take it for another second... AND PLEASE STOP, I'M SERIOUS!!!! But no, really... keep going because I love those tears too when I am a sobbing, incoherent, giggly, broken, ticklish mess.
So yeah.... I love sweet, kind, non-teary play and everything in between. But I love it when the ler (my ler) can look at me and know exact what I need based on my mood or the kind of day I've had.
Them: "Manhandle you?"
Me: "Yes, please."
Them: "Tickle you until you cry?"
Me: "Yes, please.... I need it!" 😌😊🥰
But this is **JUST ME** with lers I trust deeply. Every lee (or in my case, switch) is different. All about communication and consent. 😃
I've posted about tears during and after a scene often. Just because you are not into it or it's a turn off does not mean that it is abusive or done without consent. You don't have to like it or engage in it. That's your right, and I agree that tears from a lee could also be difficult for the ler. Doesn't make it automatically awful or evil.
Just some thoughts... I think I'll post it in my journal/ blog as well.
Within the last week, I've been following two posts about tears and tickling. One is located here, and one is located on Reddit.
The one here, frankly, irritated me. I suppose I was irritated because a couple of reasons. In my opinion/ perspective, it was centered around whether or not seeing the tears from a ticklee in a scene are turn ons or turn offs for the lers (and I guess those watching). And I suppose the irritation of it was so very centered around what the ler wanted and the lers needs when honestly, the scene should most definitely have the lee's (who is giving up the complete control) needs/ desires in mind as well. (To be fair, many of the posters did mention the comfort of the lee.)
Then it twisted away from turn offs exactly to what video companies should do to communicate to those buying videos that the lee actually consented to the tear-inducing tickling scene. Some of them wanting a warning to appear before the video. And this all felt so much like, "No animals were harmed in the making of this video." It just felt so odd to me.
It was almost as if, instead of acknowledging that there may be many reasons that lees cry, and that it truly may not take away from the actual scene, or that it may even still be an enjoyable scene to the lee and the ler... since it was not a turn on or wanted by those posters, scenes/ play that resulted in tears were pretty much marked as abuse by the end of the thread. And the conclusion sort of was drawn without maybe acknowledging that Lees and Lers do enjoy tickling on various levels, and that with consent this should not be met with shame within the group of us who are sharing the same kink. The conclusion was also drawn and companies were also named without acknowledging the fact that some of those same companies publish interviews from the lees after the tickling. Often the lees come back. Also, most reasons lees do not comeback are unstated/shared. So our conclusions of why they don't are purely conjecture. So why assume abuse?
The tone also seemed as if it was assumed that the lees' choices could NEVER be to want to be tickled so much that they would cry... And that they could not have given consent from and how awful tickling on this level is.
The conversation around this topic should go so much deeper than tears making your dick grow soft so it must be bad. Of course, there are times when for the lee, it does go too far. So yes, this is not to downplay the importance of communication and clear boundaries beforehand. But this was about turn ons. Should the next step be that since you don't like it everyone should put extra warnings and fanfare to prove it isn't as bad as you think it is?
The post on Reddit was just the OP asking questions about it. It allowed for open dialogue without as much judgement. It allowed the lee or the ler to talk about what is enjoyable or what is not enjoyable. And I felt as if I could explain the different reasons why (when I am the lee) tears may happen in a scene. If the lers actually knew their lee and possibly knew the reason for the tears, perhaps they wouldn't be so quick to assume that tears are bad or a sign of abuse or a complete and utter turn off.
After all... if it is a turn off.... why are you interested in the video at all? Why within the kink is this labeled as abuse? Why is it automatically a negative experience just because you aren't into it? So odd....
So.... If you're still with me or interested, here is why I cry sometimes when I am being tickled, and why tickling is pretty fun and awesome for me whether I cry or not.
Tickled to Tears? Questions: Anyone experienced that? Do you enjoy it at all as its happening? Do you still laugh at the tickles?
My Response: Yes....
I love it and often crave it AND ask for it.
Yes I still laugh. Sometimes I cry because I'm just laughing so hard that tears start to fall, but I'm really enjoying myself.
Sometimes I cry because I am releasing all of the stress and junk for the day, and the tickling/ joy from it comes through with my happy tears.
Sometimes I cry because the ler is kicking my ass and tickling the hell out of me and I can't stand it or take it for another second... AND PLEASE STOP, I'M SERIOUS!!!! But no, really... keep going because I love those tears too when I am a sobbing, incoherent, giggly, broken, ticklish mess.
So yeah.... I love sweet, kind, non-teary play and everything in between. But I love it when the ler (my ler) can look at me and know exact what I need based on my mood or the kind of day I've had.
Them: "Manhandle you?"
Me: "Yes, please."
Them: "Tickle you until you cry?"
Me: "Yes, please.... I need it!" 😌😊🥰
But this is **JUST ME** with lers I trust deeply. Every lee (or in my case, switch) is different. All about communication and consent. 😃
I've posted about tears during and after a scene often. Just because you are not into it or it's a turn off does not mean that it is abusive or done without consent. You don't have to like it or engage in it. That's your right, and I agree that tears from a lee could also be difficult for the ler. Doesn't make it automatically awful or evil.
Just some thoughts... I think I'll post it in my journal/ blog as well.
