This entry is made in light of recent posts and threads I've seen on the TMF, as well as a recent real life experience or two.
A recent thread started awhile ago really got under my skin lately, and its been excessively nagging at me. People who have the gall to post online and beg for money and/or sympathy for how awful their lives/jobs/financial situations etc.
When I see threads like this, they bother me to the point where I can't help but comment on them. I recently deleted one of my posts in a thread, because my comment was utterly pointless but I just felt that I had to make my annoyance at this person visible.
The problem that I have with these threads is not so much who is making them, but the fact that it reminds me of how hard my own situation has become. So I guess this is just me getting it all out on my blog.
As a single mom*, new to the big city, first time on my own, I've been doing somewhat okay. Until now.
Due to a recent cutback in hours at work, I'm now finding myself stressing over how I'm going to make everything work at the end of this month. My rent and my daycare costs are what's putting me out of it. When you put rent + daycare + food/diapers etc, it's like having to pay my rent twice. And I'm living on my own, working part time (about 18 hours a week now FML) I get a child tax credit that covers about half of my son's daycare costs. That helps out alot, but I'm still going to have trouble come the end of the month.
Rent or daycare? I can only afford one, it seems. I'm already having to look at getting a second job, but its incredibly difficult when you have no flexibility and can only work during daycare hours. But I've had two interviews in the last week.
So listening to people who complain about a vehicle that is costing them so much, while at the same time, posting about how they are going clubbing that night, and asking who else is attending a fet event? Also saying that by February you'll have money and everything will be okay again (WHY WERE YOU COMPLAINING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!)
The other night I went out to dinner with my friends. On the way there, I was forced to listen to a friend complaining about all of his money problems. The thing is, the reason that he's even having problems is because they're getting a dog. He's also got a partner, who he lives with, and they're both working. It really got to me. If you can't afford to buy food, pay rent, whatever, then WHY are you even getting a dog? On top of the four cats you already have? You have a choice here. You can save money, by NOT getting another pet, especially if you can't afford it.
I have my son, I live on my own, and I don't have anyone living with me to help out. I also don't have a parent that I can call upon to help me out with money when I'm stuck, like he does.
And listening to this person complain before we all went out to dinner together put me in a really bad mindset. I was totally reminded of how my own situation was looming over me, and I couldn't shake it. I left the restaurant with my son before the food even arrived, because I was on a borderline panic attack. I'm glad that people kind of assumed that I left because my son was being difficult. (Honestly, that was the least of my problems) I went home and had a full blown panic attack, cried for hours, screamed, ranted, and the whole bit. Since then, I've just sort of been pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind again. There's nothing I can do about anything right now. My son is sick again, so that's really all I can focus on.
And you know what? I still haven't solved anything. I may not be panicking anymore, but I don't really feel any better. I got turned down for one of the jobs I was interviewed for, and won't find out about another one until the middle of the month. Is this improvement? No. Do I have a single dollar to my name? No. Do I know what's going to happen? No. Is everything going to come together? I don't know.
I have no fucking clue.
And it fucking sucks.
*
I feel like I should add a footnote because while I do have a wonderfully amazing boyfriend, he is not my son's father and we don't live together. That doesn't mean that he doesn't care for or support me or my son, but he's not obligated to help me with this mess that I got into myself, and he really does help me out with buying groceries etc (even though he really doesn't have to) If it weren't for him, I don't know where I'd be. I couldn't ask for a better man.
A recent thread started awhile ago really got under my skin lately, and its been excessively nagging at me. People who have the gall to post online and beg for money and/or sympathy for how awful their lives/jobs/financial situations etc.
When I see threads like this, they bother me to the point where I can't help but comment on them. I recently deleted one of my posts in a thread, because my comment was utterly pointless but I just felt that I had to make my annoyance at this person visible.
The problem that I have with these threads is not so much who is making them, but the fact that it reminds me of how hard my own situation has become. So I guess this is just me getting it all out on my blog.
As a single mom*, new to the big city, first time on my own, I've been doing somewhat okay. Until now.
Due to a recent cutback in hours at work, I'm now finding myself stressing over how I'm going to make everything work at the end of this month. My rent and my daycare costs are what's putting me out of it. When you put rent + daycare + food/diapers etc, it's like having to pay my rent twice. And I'm living on my own, working part time (about 18 hours a week now FML) I get a child tax credit that covers about half of my son's daycare costs. That helps out alot, but I'm still going to have trouble come the end of the month.
Rent or daycare? I can only afford one, it seems. I'm already having to look at getting a second job, but its incredibly difficult when you have no flexibility and can only work during daycare hours. But I've had two interviews in the last week.
So listening to people who complain about a vehicle that is costing them so much, while at the same time, posting about how they are going clubbing that night, and asking who else is attending a fet event? Also saying that by February you'll have money and everything will be okay again (WHY WERE YOU COMPLAINING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!)
The other night I went out to dinner with my friends. On the way there, I was forced to listen to a friend complaining about all of his money problems. The thing is, the reason that he's even having problems is because they're getting a dog. He's also got a partner, who he lives with, and they're both working. It really got to me. If you can't afford to buy food, pay rent, whatever, then WHY are you even getting a dog? On top of the four cats you already have? You have a choice here. You can save money, by NOT getting another pet, especially if you can't afford it.
I have my son, I live on my own, and I don't have anyone living with me to help out. I also don't have a parent that I can call upon to help me out with money when I'm stuck, like he does.
And listening to this person complain before we all went out to dinner together put me in a really bad mindset. I was totally reminded of how my own situation was looming over me, and I couldn't shake it. I left the restaurant with my son before the food even arrived, because I was on a borderline panic attack. I'm glad that people kind of assumed that I left because my son was being difficult. (Honestly, that was the least of my problems) I went home and had a full blown panic attack, cried for hours, screamed, ranted, and the whole bit. Since then, I've just sort of been pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind again. There's nothing I can do about anything right now. My son is sick again, so that's really all I can focus on.
And you know what? I still haven't solved anything. I may not be panicking anymore, but I don't really feel any better. I got turned down for one of the jobs I was interviewed for, and won't find out about another one until the middle of the month. Is this improvement? No. Do I have a single dollar to my name? No. Do I know what's going to happen? No. Is everything going to come together? I don't know.
I have no fucking clue.
And it fucking sucks.
*
I feel like I should add a footnote because while I do have a wonderfully amazing boyfriend, he is not my son's father and we don't live together. That doesn't mean that he doesn't care for or support me or my son, but he's not obligated to help me with this mess that I got into myself, and he really does help me out with buying groceries etc (even though he really doesn't have to) If it weren't for him, I don't know where I'd be. I couldn't ask for a better man.
