The past three days have been.. difficult at best.
I saw my father for lunch on Friday. As usual, his ripping Mitch never ends. All he talks about is "The Gym", and how I should "Lighten up". He also talked about how I should "Find someone". ( A Woman). That.. would be the last thing I need right now. He also told me how I "Shouldn't Obsess" about the potential 100 man law firm. As I've posted, nothing is going to happen with that at all, until at least the first week in August, because my supervisor is out of town.
Let's see, I go to "The Gym", you SOB. I was weighed by a personal trainer on Thursday. My BP is 110 over 77, and weight, with a sweat suit on, is 180, which means it's really in the 170s.
I "Shouldn't Obsess" about a potential account that could be life altering, where I would be in a totally different situation than I am now.
"A Woman". What a nice.. thought. Someone else to fight with, criticize me, and such, when that's all he does. Meeting someone is nothing more than a fleeting thought right now. I still look at girls, and do the things single guys do. I haven't lost my sexual urges or desires. I just couldn't see tying myself up (No pun intended) with someone who doesn't know me, and my having to get to know someone, when I'm in this frame of mind. It's bad enough that the person who loved me most in the world, and who I loved most in the world, my mom, is gone, dead, and buried, but.. to have to deal with that complication too. Nooooooo!
I just want to make enough money to be free of him. He says he is not pressuring me to be free of him financially, but.. while that may seem generous of him, in a way, it's also to his advantage, because he then has control, and can engage in his abuse. Beth, my speech therapist, who seems very nice and kind, met him, and has heard about him, one time, and already understands the situation with him.
I'm going to continue to go to the speech therapist, I'm going to work on using the new application for work. Hopefully the speech therapist will help me to be abler to get over my stuttering, and my fear of cold calling. As for the potential account.. of course I hope it happens, but, as I've already said, because of how hard I prayed when my mom was so sick, the suffering she went through, and what she endured to try and fight her illness, and how she was taken anyway, without her life being extended,., I hope those who do believe in prayer, will excuse me, when I say I do not believe in it. I'm not going to go so far to say that I don't believe in God. That wouldn't be a true statement, and would also get me vilified. What I REALLY believe, is that God has a plan for certain people, no matter how kind they are. I also believe that many times.. the most evil people, often have the easiest time of it.
I'm just going to continue working at what I have been doing, and see what happens. If something really good comes of it, I will be very happy. If not, I've endured disappointment and heartbreak before, far worse than such, and will just deal with it, and roll with the punches as I have tried to.
I saw my father for lunch on Friday. As usual, his ripping Mitch never ends. All he talks about is "The Gym", and how I should "Lighten up". He also talked about how I should "Find someone". ( A Woman). That.. would be the last thing I need right now. He also told me how I "Shouldn't Obsess" about the potential 100 man law firm. As I've posted, nothing is going to happen with that at all, until at least the first week in August, because my supervisor is out of town.
Let's see, I go to "The Gym", you SOB. I was weighed by a personal trainer on Thursday. My BP is 110 over 77, and weight, with a sweat suit on, is 180, which means it's really in the 170s.
I "Shouldn't Obsess" about a potential account that could be life altering, where I would be in a totally different situation than I am now.
"A Woman". What a nice.. thought. Someone else to fight with, criticize me, and such, when that's all he does. Meeting someone is nothing more than a fleeting thought right now. I still look at girls, and do the things single guys do. I haven't lost my sexual urges or desires. I just couldn't see tying myself up (No pun intended) with someone who doesn't know me, and my having to get to know someone, when I'm in this frame of mind. It's bad enough that the person who loved me most in the world, and who I loved most in the world, my mom, is gone, dead, and buried, but.. to have to deal with that complication too. Nooooooo!
I just want to make enough money to be free of him. He says he is not pressuring me to be free of him financially, but.. while that may seem generous of him, in a way, it's also to his advantage, because he then has control, and can engage in his abuse. Beth, my speech therapist, who seems very nice and kind, met him, and has heard about him, one time, and already understands the situation with him.
I'm going to continue to go to the speech therapist, I'm going to work on using the new application for work. Hopefully the speech therapist will help me to be abler to get over my stuttering, and my fear of cold calling. As for the potential account.. of course I hope it happens, but, as I've already said, because of how hard I prayed when my mom was so sick, the suffering she went through, and what she endured to try and fight her illness, and how she was taken anyway, without her life being extended,., I hope those who do believe in prayer, will excuse me, when I say I do not believe in it. I'm not going to go so far to say that I don't believe in God. That wouldn't be a true statement, and would also get me vilified. What I REALLY believe, is that God has a plan for certain people, no matter how kind they are. I also believe that many times.. the most evil people, often have the easiest time of it.
I'm just going to continue working at what I have been doing, and see what happens. If something really good comes of it, I will be very happy. If not, I've endured disappointment and heartbreak before, far worse than such, and will just deal with it, and roll with the punches as I have tried to.
