Last night, something odd happened, and I'm wondering whether this is an indication of a larger issue.
Last year, when we rang in 2012, and I thought my mom was fine, I wished her Happy New Year, hugged her, and told her that when we welcomed 2013, I was hoping to have a nice girl to kiss at midnight. She told me she wished the same for me.
Last night, when 2013 arrived, I shook my friend Adam's hand at midnight, said something to him about hoping it would be a better year, with goals of job, business, money, etc.
However, nothing that I either said.. or thought.. was along the lines of "Okay, 2013 will be the first full year I'm without my mom, and by midnight of January 1, 2014, I want to have a nice girl to spend the evening with, and to cuddle up to and kiss at midnight".
I dont know if this is just a phase.. or an indication of a larger issue.
I still.. think about girls. I still muse if traffic reporter Karen Rogers from WPVI is ticklish, if Liz Cho from WABC has ever stood barefoot on a ladder, if weather girl Cecily Tynan from PVI has ever had her toes sucked. I still.. do the things that single guys who dont have a partner do..
However.. while I do have a burning desire to have a successful business, and earn money.. nothing I think says to myself. "I really need to have a partner. I really want a girl to love, spend time with, talk to, have physical contact with, etc".
My aunt keeps encouraging me to meet someone. Her view is that my dad and her wont be here forever, and what am I going to do if I'm alone.
During one of my father's calls from Anguilla this week, he went on about how much his cousins "really like me". Based on their behavior, I think that is a load of BS. I'm the only one in their family who is single, and I just know that when I do cross their minds, one of their questions is "Why the fuck is this guy who is almost 43 years old still single, and is he gay?" Not that I care what any of them think. Except for my father, I dont give a fuck what any of them think. I dont think highly of them either
I know that I have many things to do before I think about a woman. Job, business, etc. I keep thinking that.. if in.. six months from now.. all that is accomplished, what then. The irony is.. that as everyone who knows me is aware.. I'm a person who takes chances.. in business. I enjoy gambling.. etc. I'm a person who loves to "put the money on the table, and roll the dice". I just dont know if I want to go THERE.
I know that my mom would want me to find someone and be happy. The thing is, I'm just not sure.
Anyhow, I know I'll have time to think about this later on.
Last year, when we rang in 2012, and I thought my mom was fine, I wished her Happy New Year, hugged her, and told her that when we welcomed 2013, I was hoping to have a nice girl to kiss at midnight. She told me she wished the same for me.
Last night, when 2013 arrived, I shook my friend Adam's hand at midnight, said something to him about hoping it would be a better year, with goals of job, business, money, etc.
However, nothing that I either said.. or thought.. was along the lines of "Okay, 2013 will be the first full year I'm without my mom, and by midnight of January 1, 2014, I want to have a nice girl to spend the evening with, and to cuddle up to and kiss at midnight".
I dont know if this is just a phase.. or an indication of a larger issue.
I still.. think about girls. I still muse if traffic reporter Karen Rogers from WPVI is ticklish, if Liz Cho from WABC has ever stood barefoot on a ladder, if weather girl Cecily Tynan from PVI has ever had her toes sucked. I still.. do the things that single guys who dont have a partner do..
However.. while I do have a burning desire to have a successful business, and earn money.. nothing I think says to myself. "I really need to have a partner. I really want a girl to love, spend time with, talk to, have physical contact with, etc".
My aunt keeps encouraging me to meet someone. Her view is that my dad and her wont be here forever, and what am I going to do if I'm alone.
During one of my father's calls from Anguilla this week, he went on about how much his cousins "really like me". Based on their behavior, I think that is a load of BS. I'm the only one in their family who is single, and I just know that when I do cross their minds, one of their questions is "Why the fuck is this guy who is almost 43 years old still single, and is he gay?" Not that I care what any of them think. Except for my father, I dont give a fuck what any of them think. I dont think highly of them either
I know that I have many things to do before I think about a woman. Job, business, etc. I keep thinking that.. if in.. six months from now.. all that is accomplished, what then. The irony is.. that as everyone who knows me is aware.. I'm a person who takes chances.. in business. I enjoy gambling.. etc. I'm a person who loves to "put the money on the table, and roll the dice". I just dont know if I want to go THERE.
I know that my mom would want me to find someone and be happy. The thing is, I'm just not sure.
Anyhow, I know I'll have time to think about this later on.
