Some people who don't like me are going to be thrilled to read this entry.
I've been seething since the last time I saw my father. He originally requested to see me today, and then changed it to tomorrow.
As I posted before, during our last visit.. my father spent the time the last time.. attacking my mom and me, and ripping us both to shreds.
I sent him a strong e-mail, saying something like "I hope you're not planning on seeing me on Thursday to ream me like you did the last time. I'm not feeling well, and don't have the energy for it".
Well, he let me have it.. He sent me an e-mail typed in all caps, saying "You have to get over your paranoia thinking I'm against you. You also should stop talking to your friends about us".
I decided to send him an apology e-mail. His reply surprised me. He said "Apology not needed. I know you're having a hard time".
That caused me to lose it,. I started crying, for the good part of an hour, and couldn't even calm down doing my favorite thing, because the fucking WPVI website wasn't working.
This morning.. he called me, and was calm. He told me that we're going to figure out tomorrow what to do about the business.
Bottom line.. I think my problem is that for the first time in my life,. I'm dealing with him all alone. I cant run to mom, and complain to her how he hurt me.
When I think of how I treated my mom at times, I get sick to my stomach. I made her miserable about my situation with him, the driver, my friends, etc.. and I've documented my behavior to her in NJ.
She was always so kind to me. She would yell, and a couple of times she threatened to throw me out because I was driving her so crazy, but she would get over it in a day. She probably had just cause to kick me out. I was a total bastard to her.
I'm hoping I have a productive lunch with him tomorrow. He told me he wants to have a nice lunch, and not ream me. I hope this happens.
I think I know the problem. Part of it is me, and part of it is him, but the other part is that I simply don't trust him. I knew that no matter how badly my mom and I fought, she would never cross a certain line. Same thing with me. As angry as we were with each other when we were in NJ, we were by each other's sides when the medical emergencies hit.
I'm going to have to work this through with him. I hope I can calm it down. I feel weak, and sick. Hopefully, if this can get fixed, I will start to feel better.
I've been seething since the last time I saw my father. He originally requested to see me today, and then changed it to tomorrow.
As I posted before, during our last visit.. my father spent the time the last time.. attacking my mom and me, and ripping us both to shreds.
I sent him a strong e-mail, saying something like "I hope you're not planning on seeing me on Thursday to ream me like you did the last time. I'm not feeling well, and don't have the energy for it".
Well, he let me have it.. He sent me an e-mail typed in all caps, saying "You have to get over your paranoia thinking I'm against you. You also should stop talking to your friends about us".
I decided to send him an apology e-mail. His reply surprised me. He said "Apology not needed. I know you're having a hard time".
That caused me to lose it,. I started crying, for the good part of an hour, and couldn't even calm down doing my favorite thing, because the fucking WPVI website wasn't working.
This morning.. he called me, and was calm. He told me that we're going to figure out tomorrow what to do about the business.
Bottom line.. I think my problem is that for the first time in my life,. I'm dealing with him all alone. I cant run to mom, and complain to her how he hurt me.
When I think of how I treated my mom at times, I get sick to my stomach. I made her miserable about my situation with him, the driver, my friends, etc.. and I've documented my behavior to her in NJ.
She was always so kind to me. She would yell, and a couple of times she threatened to throw me out because I was driving her so crazy, but she would get over it in a day. She probably had just cause to kick me out. I was a total bastard to her.
I'm hoping I have a productive lunch with him tomorrow. He told me he wants to have a nice lunch, and not ream me. I hope this happens.
I think I know the problem. Part of it is me, and part of it is him, but the other part is that I simply don't trust him. I knew that no matter how badly my mom and I fought, she would never cross a certain line. Same thing with me. As angry as we were with each other when we were in NJ, we were by each other's sides when the medical emergencies hit.
I'm going to have to work this through with him. I hope I can calm it down. I feel weak, and sick. Hopefully, if this can get fixed, I will start to feel better.
