I just got back from dinner with my dad and Cheryl. It was wonderful. What happened tonight, made me get down to the "Bottom line", as my mom used to say, about why I'm upset with my dad all the time.
Everyone knows the major progress I've made in the past seven months, passing a professional licensing exam, and now working for a major company.
I've posted about the limitations put on me by my supervisor.
My problem was. I always feel like my dad criticizes me no matter how much progress I made. As I've posted before, I deserved the scathing e-mail he sent me in Sept 2013. I had promised to take a few months off after my mom's death, and begin work in the fall of 2012. I jerked around for a year.
In spite of all the progress I've made since last fall, I feel like my dad is forever criticizing me about how I'm not good enough.
Tonight, he told me that he knows I've made major progress. He also said that the reason he gets on me, is because he knows I can do even better. Cheryl herself said how much progress I've made.
Hearing his praise made me feel really good. As everyone who knows me is aware, I've never been one who strived for "Approval from Daddy".
Hopefully, some of the things he and I are working on will happen.
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but, before tonight's dinner, I lost it earlier today in my apartment. I was screaming, and crying, and talking to my mom. Sometimes my other relatives frustrate me so much, that I feel like she was the only one who approved of me, ever.
I'm just hoping that all my hard work at making progress will pay off. My dad says he knows I will get accounts.
I hope this explains the method to my madness.
Everyone knows the major progress I've made in the past seven months, passing a professional licensing exam, and now working for a major company.
I've posted about the limitations put on me by my supervisor.
My problem was. I always feel like my dad criticizes me no matter how much progress I made. As I've posted before, I deserved the scathing e-mail he sent me in Sept 2013. I had promised to take a few months off after my mom's death, and begin work in the fall of 2012. I jerked around for a year.
In spite of all the progress I've made since last fall, I feel like my dad is forever criticizing me about how I'm not good enough.
Tonight, he told me that he knows I've made major progress. He also said that the reason he gets on me, is because he knows I can do even better. Cheryl herself said how much progress I've made.
Hearing his praise made me feel really good. As everyone who knows me is aware, I've never been one who strived for "Approval from Daddy".
Hopefully, some of the things he and I are working on will happen.
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but, before tonight's dinner, I lost it earlier today in my apartment. I was screaming, and crying, and talking to my mom. Sometimes my other relatives frustrate me so much, that I feel like she was the only one who approved of me, ever.
I'm just hoping that all my hard work at making progress will pay off. My dad says he knows I will get accounts.
I hope this explains the method to my madness.
