It happened again.
The last time I fixated on a ten year birthday, six weeks later my beloved mother was diagnosed with Cancer.
My 50th birthday has been.. on my mind. Although in a different way than my 40th had been.
This time I keep thinking about the tragic events of the last ten years.
I had hoped to spend my 50th birthday quietly,. I was going to celebrate it with two friends, separately.
Today, something happened, that is a terrible blow to me.
I've been sending out.. random resumes to get.. jobs. Just to make money. None of which I would want to do long term, or as a career.
In recent months, I've been thinking that perhaps I should shift my focus from trying to get a position which is insurance related, to a position that is politics related. As I've posted, I was a history major in college, and as many who know me on the forum are aware, I love politics.
Thus, I had been contacting local politicians. to attempt to get in on the ground floor with charity and volunteer work, which I was hoping would lead to a paid position in a political office, which I think would make me at least.. content and at peace, even if I was never. rich like I might have been if my insurance career had worked as I hoped.
I had been in touch with a local politician, whose office I had met with, and then attended a town meeting, with the hope of making contacts that would or could assist me in politics.
This was just before. Thanksgiving. I figured okay, the holidays, wait to see if they get back to me, and then after the 1st of the year.. follow up.
I did.
Today, which of course is the day before my 50 th birthday, I heard from the man I met with at the office of the local politician.
The man told me that he had forwarded my resume to contacts of his, had followed up, and has heard nothing.
This is,. a terrible blow to me,.
Someone close to me, a friend, who is more like a family member, has been advising me, that it might be time for me to ,move from NYC. My friend lives in Central NJ. I've been to visit him many times, and my friend and his family have been very kind to me.
Some of the reasons my friend thinks I should move are personal, so I will keep those between myself and him. Yet, I think from his perspective, he thinks that not only can he or his family help me with work, he thinks that maybe the whole.. situation up here, with how Aflac blew up in my face after how hard I worked, and the always ongoing problems with the members of my family, is counterproductive.
My aunt.. the artist, who always thinks of nothing but my cousin and herself, brushed off my feelings, and ranted on about herself.
My other aunt, the astrologer, was at least supportive.
I have not told my Dad yet. This year, while I have not been seeing him much because he has health issues, he did acknowledge my birthday with a very nice card, and gift. I'm sure I will communicate with him somehow tomorrow. I'll tell him and discuss this development with him in due time. Not long off, but not tomorrow.
While my friend can sometimes be.. pushy, and I sometimes feel like he acts like hes telling me what to do, I think this time he might be considering the situation.
In short, I will be.. devastated, if this comes to pass I came home to NY from PA in 2012 to be home, in a familiar place.
My friend lives in a rural area. Yet, he says he was thinking of a town near him where there are public transportation options. I dont drive, and probably never will, due to my seizures. My Drs do not think I will get a license due to my health issues.
Happy Birthday, Mitchell! This time, it might be far more significant than just changing decades. I might be, a short time away from my whole life, changing, to a complete unknown.
I hope any comments will be supportive.
I dont know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Right now I cant think. I'll probably just call my friends in the morning.
Thanks.
The last time I fixated on a ten year birthday, six weeks later my beloved mother was diagnosed with Cancer.
My 50th birthday has been.. on my mind. Although in a different way than my 40th had been.
This time I keep thinking about the tragic events of the last ten years.
I had hoped to spend my 50th birthday quietly,. I was going to celebrate it with two friends, separately.
Today, something happened, that is a terrible blow to me.
I've been sending out.. random resumes to get.. jobs. Just to make money. None of which I would want to do long term, or as a career.
In recent months, I've been thinking that perhaps I should shift my focus from trying to get a position which is insurance related, to a position that is politics related. As I've posted, I was a history major in college, and as many who know me on the forum are aware, I love politics.
Thus, I had been contacting local politicians. to attempt to get in on the ground floor with charity and volunteer work, which I was hoping would lead to a paid position in a political office, which I think would make me at least.. content and at peace, even if I was never. rich like I might have been if my insurance career had worked as I hoped.
I had been in touch with a local politician, whose office I had met with, and then attended a town meeting, with the hope of making contacts that would or could assist me in politics.
This was just before. Thanksgiving. I figured okay, the holidays, wait to see if they get back to me, and then after the 1st of the year.. follow up.
I did.
Today, which of course is the day before my 50 th birthday, I heard from the man I met with at the office of the local politician.
The man told me that he had forwarded my resume to contacts of his, had followed up, and has heard nothing.
This is,. a terrible blow to me,.
Someone close to me, a friend, who is more like a family member, has been advising me, that it might be time for me to ,move from NYC. My friend lives in Central NJ. I've been to visit him many times, and my friend and his family have been very kind to me.
Some of the reasons my friend thinks I should move are personal, so I will keep those between myself and him. Yet, I think from his perspective, he thinks that not only can he or his family help me with work, he thinks that maybe the whole.. situation up here, with how Aflac blew up in my face after how hard I worked, and the always ongoing problems with the members of my family, is counterproductive.
My aunt.. the artist, who always thinks of nothing but my cousin and herself, brushed off my feelings, and ranted on about herself.
My other aunt, the astrologer, was at least supportive.
I have not told my Dad yet. This year, while I have not been seeing him much because he has health issues, he did acknowledge my birthday with a very nice card, and gift. I'm sure I will communicate with him somehow tomorrow. I'll tell him and discuss this development with him in due time. Not long off, but not tomorrow.
While my friend can sometimes be.. pushy, and I sometimes feel like he acts like hes telling me what to do, I think this time he might be considering the situation.
In short, I will be.. devastated, if this comes to pass I came home to NY from PA in 2012 to be home, in a familiar place.
My friend lives in a rural area. Yet, he says he was thinking of a town near him where there are public transportation options. I dont drive, and probably never will, due to my seizures. My Drs do not think I will get a license due to my health issues.
Happy Birthday, Mitchell! This time, it might be far more significant than just changing decades. I might be, a short time away from my whole life, changing, to a complete unknown.
I hope any comments will be supportive.
I dont know what I'm going to do tomorrow. Right now I cant think. I'll probably just call my friends in the morning.
Thanks.
