On March 10th, it will mark one year since I lost, and continued to lose, the love of my life. Almost a year has gone by.
This past year, there were a lot of ups and downs. I realized what it meant to feel things, like fear and sadness. I saw that intense stress causes my skin to do weird things. I learned that I wasn't who I thought I was on so many levels.
Last year saw me going down a dark path. If not for the intervention of friends, I could have become a bitter, destructive man. That isn't the person I wanted to be, but it just seemed so easy. Like Anakin Skywalker succumbing to the dark side, I saw just how easy it was to destroy.
But last year, I did all that I could to keep that from happening. I rediscovered my faith, becoming a pagan and following in the footsteps of those before me as I study more about Norse history. While I had a few relationships start up and stall, I learned much about myself. Soon, I hope to do a lot more self-improvement, including going to the gym and getting back into martial arts.
Yes, it is most certainly easier to destroy rather than create. I have seen that firsthand. I will create a better self-image while improving on the things I believe needs the most work. Should someone out there take notice and interest in me, I'll work to see things to the end, be they bitter or sweet.
Despite how much I miss her, despite how much I just don't want to wake up some mornings, I will not give in to despair and hopelessness.
I am a fighter. I will win.
This past year, there were a lot of ups and downs. I realized what it meant to feel things, like fear and sadness. I saw that intense stress causes my skin to do weird things. I learned that I wasn't who I thought I was on so many levels.
Last year saw me going down a dark path. If not for the intervention of friends, I could have become a bitter, destructive man. That isn't the person I wanted to be, but it just seemed so easy. Like Anakin Skywalker succumbing to the dark side, I saw just how easy it was to destroy.
But last year, I did all that I could to keep that from happening. I rediscovered my faith, becoming a pagan and following in the footsteps of those before me as I study more about Norse history. While I had a few relationships start up and stall, I learned much about myself. Soon, I hope to do a lot more self-improvement, including going to the gym and getting back into martial arts.
Yes, it is most certainly easier to destroy rather than create. I have seen that firsthand. I will create a better self-image while improving on the things I believe needs the most work. Should someone out there take notice and interest in me, I'll work to see things to the end, be they bitter or sweet.
Despite how much I miss her, despite how much I just don't want to wake up some mornings, I will not give in to despair and hopelessness.
I am a fighter. I will win.
