well, fucking hell, my fears were confirmed as i finally went to my dentist, and, after checking out some xrays and looking inside my mouth determined that the pressure that i'm feeling is, in fact, caused by a cyst surrounding my wisdom tooth. went to see the oral surgeon today that my dentist referred me to and he said that it definitely needs to come out. whether or not i want the rest of them out is totally up to me. i'll probably just go ahead and do it. as much as i'm super stressed about the whole thing, i'll just have it done in one shot. he said the whole thing should take an hour at most for all 4 of them. sigh.........as if the events of the past month haven't been stressful enough, now i have to deal with this shit. fuck!!
so why do i have social anxiety tacked on to the title of this blog? great question, thanks for asking. it mainly has to do with the upcoming nest, which i'm attending. it'll be my first one, so naturally i'm nervous. i was talking to my wife about it today and i told her that its just been she and i for so long (meaning i have no friends) that i really don't know how i'd do in a big group setting like nest. i'm afraid that people are going to ask me questions about me and they'll want me to talk about myself and the thought of that just makes me sick to my fucking stomach.
my wife said that something that she's been doing at work is putting herself into situations with her squad-mates and involving herself. the mere though of that made me even more sick to my stomach. i have no idea how to start a conversation or say hi to someone without sounding like a complete and total douche. i have fears that i'll get to nest, spend about 6 hours there and turn around and come right home (which, i obviously WON'T do simply because of the money involved to attend) but at this point, what i'm thinking i may do is escape earlier than everyone else monday morning. i don't know. i mean i want to go and experience the whole thing but just the fact that its such a big social thing really scares me. i told my wife today that if you asked me if i'm excited about going, i'd say that i could take it or leave it. if you ask me in two weeks i might have a different answer.
then again........i may not.
so why do i have social anxiety tacked on to the title of this blog? great question, thanks for asking. it mainly has to do with the upcoming nest, which i'm attending. it'll be my first one, so naturally i'm nervous. i was talking to my wife about it today and i told her that its just been she and i for so long (meaning i have no friends) that i really don't know how i'd do in a big group setting like nest. i'm afraid that people are going to ask me questions about me and they'll want me to talk about myself and the thought of that just makes me sick to my fucking stomach.
my wife said that something that she's been doing at work is putting herself into situations with her squad-mates and involving herself. the mere though of that made me even more sick to my stomach. i have no idea how to start a conversation or say hi to someone without sounding like a complete and total douche. i have fears that i'll get to nest, spend about 6 hours there and turn around and come right home (which, i obviously WON'T do simply because of the money involved to attend) but at this point, what i'm thinking i may do is escape earlier than everyone else monday morning. i don't know. i mean i want to go and experience the whole thing but just the fact that its such a big social thing really scares me. i told my wife today that if you asked me if i'm excited about going, i'd say that i could take it or leave it. if you ask me in two weeks i might have a different answer.
then again........i may not.
