To the PEOPLE who grow angry when a person doesn't just gladly disrobe and do everything you could ever dream of them doing just because you showed the basic and weakest level of a LOW EFFORT as you hardly managed to pretend to communicate a molecule of interest... would you kindly just STOP!
SERIOUSLY STOP!
STOP with the posts, threads, the blind emails, the bitter comments, and angry writings complaining about how YOU don't get as much play as you deserve!
So yesterday, I was approached in a chatroom. My DMs were disabled, so the person said he was currently in town and he publicly requested a paid/ unpaid tickle session (Yes, both- He wanted to pay or not pay me LOL). This person had NEVER spoken to me before. I have absolutely no idea who he is, but he thought that just because we were in the same city there would be a chance that I would meet him and automatically play. He never did introduce himself or tell me anything about himself at all.
I told him that I only play with established friends or people who I meet at public events. He stated, "I saw that you posted something in the personals section." I had to literally copy and paste the line in my personal about friendship. He replies, "Worth a try I figured." He even stated that I should just meet with him for dinner anyway just to see if I wanted to play afterwards.
That was your try? That a person would throw all thoughts of safety and caution to the wind? Your hope was that someone would let you touch their body when they don't know who you are in the slightest?
ME: It's also always good to get to know the person a bit before asking for a session. Especially if you have never spoken to the person before.
But should I have to say that?
He then starts to share how he has tickled people without permission/ consent. And that everyone tickles their friends. The room balks at that idea of tickling people without expressed consent- ESPECIALLY people who are not privy to the fact that it is a fetish for you- to which he responds, "I literally don't care!"
Umm... Ummm what, Sir? You don't care about getting consent before you touch someone without permission? And the rest of the conversation flies into a downward spiral as he goes up in flames, begs not to be blocked by the majority of the room, and then leaves the chatroom.
Now here is the issue... HE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE!
I receive these messages from people in my DMs consistently. And whether I answer kindly, not so kindly, or just say nothing at all- the majority of the people who send these messages get rude, ugly, demanding, and downright disrespectful. And this is JUST ME, so I can only assume that there are many others, particularly women, who are addressed the same way.
And I don't get it. I really DO NOT understand how certain people feel like this is the move. I don't get how you feel like you can show up and speak to a person and not do any of the basic social things you should do to engage in proper conversation. And I have to constantly state that I am not a model or a paid SWer, BUT that implies that they can be approached the same way- AND THEY SHOULDN'T. They SHOULD NOT!
This happens so frequently that I'm starting to believe that this is now the accepted culture in the kink community- this lack of real communication and this attitude of entitlement. There was just a thread here where people not only complained about lack of play, but also threatened the one female who called them out on it.
Where the hell does it come from? Takes me MONTHS to shoot my damn shot and gather up whatever is in me to ask if the person would feel comfortable enough with me to meet publicly for a cup of coffee. I don't expect anyone to be like me, but the demands and the immediate anger at the word NO or even WAIT are ridiculous, unnecessary, and self-destructive!
Wherever this behavior has come from, send it BACK! IMMEDIATELY!
Would you kindly STOP... Please!?
If only it was as easy as it was in Bioshock before he found out the ugly truth. LOL
Would you kindly?
SERIOUSLY STOP!
STOP with the posts, threads, the blind emails, the bitter comments, and angry writings complaining about how YOU don't get as much play as you deserve!
So yesterday, I was approached in a chatroom. My DMs were disabled, so the person said he was currently in town and he publicly requested a paid/ unpaid tickle session (Yes, both- He wanted to pay or not pay me LOL). This person had NEVER spoken to me before. I have absolutely no idea who he is, but he thought that just because we were in the same city there would be a chance that I would meet him and automatically play. He never did introduce himself or tell me anything about himself at all.
I told him that I only play with established friends or people who I meet at public events. He stated, "I saw that you posted something in the personals section." I had to literally copy and paste the line in my personal about friendship. He replies, "Worth a try I figured." He even stated that I should just meet with him for dinner anyway just to see if I wanted to play afterwards.
That was your try? That a person would throw all thoughts of safety and caution to the wind? Your hope was that someone would let you touch their body when they don't know who you are in the slightest?
ME: It's also always good to get to know the person a bit before asking for a session. Especially if you have never spoken to the person before.
But should I have to say that?
He then starts to share how he has tickled people without permission/ consent. And that everyone tickles their friends. The room balks at that idea of tickling people without expressed consent- ESPECIALLY people who are not privy to the fact that it is a fetish for you- to which he responds, "I literally don't care!"
Umm... Ummm what, Sir? You don't care about getting consent before you touch someone without permission? And the rest of the conversation flies into a downward spiral as he goes up in flames, begs not to be blocked by the majority of the room, and then leaves the chatroom.
Now here is the issue... HE ISN'T THE ONLY ONE!
I receive these messages from people in my DMs consistently. And whether I answer kindly, not so kindly, or just say nothing at all- the majority of the people who send these messages get rude, ugly, demanding, and downright disrespectful. And this is JUST ME, so I can only assume that there are many others, particularly women, who are addressed the same way.
And I don't get it. I really DO NOT understand how certain people feel like this is the move. I don't get how you feel like you can show up and speak to a person and not do any of the basic social things you should do to engage in proper conversation. And I have to constantly state that I am not a model or a paid SWer, BUT that implies that they can be approached the same way- AND THEY SHOULDN'T. They SHOULD NOT!
This happens so frequently that I'm starting to believe that this is now the accepted culture in the kink community- this lack of real communication and this attitude of entitlement. There was just a thread here where people not only complained about lack of play, but also threatened the one female who called them out on it.
Where the hell does it come from? Takes me MONTHS to shoot my damn shot and gather up whatever is in me to ask if the person would feel comfortable enough with me to meet publicly for a cup of coffee. I don't expect anyone to be like me, but the demands and the immediate anger at the word NO or even WAIT are ridiculous, unnecessary, and self-destructive!
Wherever this behavior has come from, send it BACK! IMMEDIATELY!
Would you kindly STOP... Please!?
If only it was as easy as it was in Bioshock before he found out the ugly truth. LOL
- Would you kindly remember that we are human beings with feelings and emotions and approach us with respect?
- Would you kindly respect our boundaries?
- Would you kindly have a conversation and not assume that because we like the same things, we are down for whatever?
- Would you kindly not assume that because we are craving it, we must be desperate for it?
- Would you kindly not assume that because we are into it, we must your want pictures, and lewd talk, and tickle talk, and role play?
- Would you kindly not conclude that just because you are aroused, we should be?
- Would you kindly acquire explicit and enthusiastic consent each and every single time?
Would you kindly?
