A falling out. Loss and Life.

[Oblivion]

I haven't told many people on here, and usually only when asked. It's been almost a month since my older brother passed away. My family, as they mean to anyone, means the world to me. Both of our parents passed away, when I was 12 and 19. It's just me and my oldest brother now, and the adorable niece my middle brother left behind with his wife. Life has been hard this past month, with most days being "I don't feel like waking up." Nightmares plague my nights. I could go on but I don't want to feel like I'm depressing the entirety of the TT. Everyone has problems.

The part I wanted to vent about is here. I'm a social butterfly for the most part. Sure, I love my hermit nights but I like being around other people. I thought I had a lot of friends. Of 20+ people that I would be around on a regular basis, only two contacted me to see how I was doing. That was shitty. Two people I'm great friends with but live far away from, contacted me. That was a joy. For the most part, I tell myself that these people don't know how to react to loss. They don't know what to say. But the longer time goes on, the angrier I get. A text, a call, an acknowledgement of loss and pain would have been sufficient. It's been nearly a month and.. Nothing.

I suppose what I'm saying is, if someone in your life has experienced loss, let them know -something.- Because I don't think I've ever felt more alone in my life.

 

[TKLVR181]

-Hugs- you aren't alone, buddy and even though I can't physically be there, please know that you and your family are in my prayers at night. I know we can't provide the immediate support of physical closeness but we are always here for you--that's what this place is about! It's more than just a place for us to have our fun (though that parts' nice too)--this place got me through one of the toughest parts of my life. We're here for you.

~K

 

[dalekfire]

Hey Cog. Thanks for letting us know. I'm very sorry about the loss of your brother - and that this is at least the third time you've had to go through a death of a very close member of the family, I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel.

Not that it means much at this point in time, but had I known, I'd definitely had sent at least a PM about it. I'm more than familiar with that feeling of being alone; sometimes it's still there even when people do try to reach out to you. All I can say now is, your TT family is still here for you should you need us, and I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we wish you the best in these painful times, to keep your feet on the ground and your sights firmly forward. I'm sure your brother is looking down on you now from a better place, hoping the same as well.

If you need someone to chat with, feel free to PM me or add me on YIM or Skype. (links to those are in my profile)

 

[Nuciferyne]

Once again, I am sorry for your loss. You're definitely not alone, but I totally understand how it could feel that way with the people around you being that way. Maybe they don't want to bring it up and depress you, but it really should be mentioned at least once if they're aware. A simple sorry for your loss/how are you/etc like you said would be enough to show they cared.

Honestly, I don't really know what to say about their behavior. I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this, on top of having lost your brother. I'm glad to know you have your older brother for support, but it really just... ugh. As I said, I'm at a loss for words on your friends. You know I'm here for you anytime you want to talk, alright?

Please take care of yourself.

 

[intern3]

My mom was murdered 2 years ago, my grandma, a cousin I never knew, and my great aunt Paulie also died 2 years ago, and my younger cousin was murdered last month.

 

[Oblivion]

In two weeks it'll be three months since my brother passed away. I'm still so angry and sad. At times I despair thinking about the future and the present.

I've thrown myself into the community to try and make new friends here. I feel like I've only really succeeded with one person. I feel like I've lost others, because we don't talk anymore.

Maybe it's the sudden abandonment of other friends that has me feeling raw and paranoid but I'm having a hard time dealing with it all.

I've deleted and rewritten this a couple of times, feeling like I'm being dramatic. But my world feels flipped upside down since three months ago and it has me gripped in panic, fear and anxiety. I don't feel my confident self anymore.

 

[Numbah-1]

Hey man, hang in there. About a yr ago my friend lost her mom. She lives on the other side of the country and she seeked me out. I wouldn't have known other wise. She told me earlier last week that her brothers dont talk about it much which is totally sad I remember I asked another friend what do I say?... I talked to her about it a little bit but fuck... I didnt wanna say the wrong thin ya know?

Yesterday my baby sister's dad passed. I was just lost... lost in an endless dark. That feeling of not knowing how to help her...

I mean.. I hope this doesn't upset you Congitio. We're two sides of the same coin. If you wanna talk I'll be here.

 

[Senshi1]

Hey there. I'm afraid I can't imagine what your situation must be like, so I can't really empathise - it's unique to you alone - but I can appreciate the scale of shaken-up your life must be. I've had feelings that sound similar to what you're describing. I wish I had some good advice to offer, but from what I've seen in other people, the only thing that cures those feelings is time. I don't think you'll ever stop being sad, and sometimes you'll remember it and get sad, even long into the future, but the overshadowing of the rest of your life seems to be something that gradually lessens.

I wish I could help somehow, but I know I can't. Having said that, if you want to make an online contact to talk with, I'm looking to get a little more involved with people myself. I don't want to ask questions about your situation with your brother because I know it's a bit personal and I'm sure you don't want to broadcast it, but maybe we can chat over PM. Once we're a little more familiar, we might find we have some things in common. I've had one experience in particular that is in the same sort of vein as this (but never quite the same), which might be some good common ground.

 

[BlasterMaster]

I can't even begin to imagine the pain your going threw but I will say you have people here who care and I'm sure if you are willing you can persevere though these dark times. So don't give up, don't give in, and get right back in there and show the entire world that you still kickass with the best of them!