A long ten years.....

[kis123]

Hey folks:

It's sad but true.

It's been 10 years today since mom's been gone. I thought I was okay, but I'm having a harder time than even I expected. I've been thinking about how much I've been through without her presence:

My son's high school graduation
My college graduation
My daughter's athletic achievements
My personal independence

These are just a few of the many things I've done without her. The good news is cancer no longer controls her body. No more pain, suffering, torture. She died at peace with herself and others for probably the first time ever. But I still miss her terribly and find myself holding back tears.

I don't know if anyone plans to respond to my ramblings. I just needed to express it in a manner that suits me. I've shared so much of my life with all of you over the last two years, it only seemed natural to share this with you as well. I hope I haven't offended anyone.

In celebration of a life lived in this life and the next:

Annah L
2/6/1927-8/17/1995

You are truly missed

 

[natural tickler]

Hey kis,

I know what you're feeling, because I've lost my mom on August 3, 2003. And whenever the third of the month comes, it gets to me. And believe me, there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about what I could've done better with my mom, but what gets back to normal is knowing that God was taking her home on that day no matter what I did, and that eases the pain. But I know heaven has another angel, and there are two more eyes watching me from above

The only thing else I can tell ya is be prepared to know you will see her again

NT

A Note for everyone: love you mom with everything you have, and if your relationship isn't right with mom, get it right, because you only have one

 

[venray]

Dad has been gone 18 years this November. He died at the age of 64. It still hurts , hon,..especially on the anniversary of his death.

My first born was 2 when he died....

He never met my daughter, or my second wife and the son we gave his name to....

It is our way of remembering what our loved ones mean to us is all....

I have said a prayer in your mom's memory....(and one for you as well...)


Ray

 

[unclebill]

That was a beautiful thread Kis, I will say a prayer for you tonight.

 

[kis123]

It was an absolutely crappy day at work today. I should've taken today off, but knowing mom, she was a very hard working person and would've wanted us to work in her honor. She was a nurse at the VA for 44 years. I won't get into what that got her once she could no longer work.

Thanks for your responses. I really didn't expect much but am happy two of the best guys around here responded to me.

Now get back on those boards and make somebody smile!

 

[german]

I cant begin to imagine what you must of went through and what you are still going through.
The only words of comfort I can offer are that she is always going to be with no matter what and also she prob is up there gloating about the man she raised and how proud she is

 

[steph]

(Sending hugs your way darlin'~my God you're STRONG!) I'm so sorry to hear it...

 

[kis123]

I cant begin to imagine what you must of went through and what you are still going through.
The only words of comfort I can offer are that she is always going to be with no matter what and also she prob is up there gloating about the man she raised and how proud she is

german:

Your thoughts are wonderful and I appreciate them.

Did you know I'm a girl?

But I'm sure you meant "grandson" as in my son, right??

 

[kis123]

That was a beautiful thread Kis, I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Your comments are greatly appreciated. I'll cry my tears tonight, and tomorrow will be a brand new day.

 

[Oddjob0226]

I'm sorry to hear you are so donw, Kis. But in my opinion, mom did pretty good with the "final outcome" of who you are. I know, "That's just your opinion " No - it's an EDUCTED opinion, which carries more weight.... much like my belt after I tunred 30.

Anyway, keep in mind that laughter is the best medicine. Come Labor Day I'll make sure that you'll live to be at least 100!

 

[giantfan121262]

Kis

I am so sorry to heat about that. I'm sure like other people said, your mother did a good job with you and taught you things that are important. I can tell you, from what I saw personally when you were going for your degree last year, you NEVER gave up. There were alot of obstacles thrown your way and you overcame them all.

I can share your sadness because my father had been dead for eleven years now. Although he saw my accomplishments as a student, athlete, and person, there is one thing that saddens me. He never saw my kids. I know that he would enjoy them like no grandfather would if he were with us today

You will never forget the loss of your parent. I know I haven't

 

[giantfan121262]

He never met my daughter, or my second wife and the son we gave his name to....

It is our way of remembering what our loved ones mean to us is all....

I have said a prayer in your mom's memory....(and one for you as well...)


Ray[/QUOTE]

We named our son after my father as well. Very fitting

 

[ticklkitten]

kis-
Sweetie... you KNOW I know how you feel. I have that "cheated" feeling a lot. my mom missed EVERYthing since I turned 13. That's wow... pretty much the years where I became the person I am.

I've been saying prayers for you. Remember she smiles down... and she is touched that you remember her fondly. Hang on to that...

 

[kis123]

Hello everyone:

Took a break from the boards for awhile. I'm working on project Labor day weekend and a trip to a gathering. I still haven't booked the flight-the tickets are sky-high. I'm afraid to go with priceline and hotwires discounts since you don't know your itenerary until AFTER you buy the ticket. They can have me flying as early as 6a or late as 10p. I'm not too thrilled with those probabilities.

Anyway;

Thank all of you for your support. It's been a rough night already, but I know it'll blow over in a day or two. I'm glad some of you have waxed nostalgic over memories of your own parents. I'm sad some of you are in the same situation I'm in-missing a loving parent.

For those of you who still have living parents, love them because and in spite of it all. One day you won't have them. Don't live with regrets-if it's broken, fix it now while you can!

Enough of the soapbox! Time to go and make some people smile!

 

[Storm_Cat]

lost my Dad to cancer this past May, ...the aftershocks are still occuring. I actually had a dream a few nights ago that he came back to visit....he looked like a young man. It's strange I remember that, I don't usually remember dreams.

....now just trying to hold things together helping Mom out.

thanks for the reminder.

 

[kis123]

lost my Dad to cancer this past May, ...the aftershocks are still occuring. I actually had a dream a few nights ago that he came back to visit....he looked like a young man. It's strange I remember that, I don't usually remember dreams.

....now just trying to hold things together helping Mom out.

thanks for the reminder.

Unfortunately, your "fun" is just beginning. It'll come and go in waves for awhile, then you'll be all right. I hope your Mom is okay. It's hard to lose a spouse so I really feel for her as well as for you.

Well wishes for your future.

 

[Mimi]

I am so sorry Kis. I can not imagine my life and all the important events that have happened within it over the past 10 years without my mother. I can not even begin to imagine or understand the pain you must be experiencing. All I can say is what you already know....she IS with you, and she IS watching, every moment of every day....if not in body, then in spirit.

Mimi

 

[kis123]

I am so sorry Kis. I can not imagine my life and all the important events that have happened within it over the past 10 years without my mother. I can not even begin to imagine or understand the pain you must be experiencing. All I can say is what you already know....she IS with you, and she IS watching, every moment of every day....if not in body, then in spirit.

Mimi

Your graphic is beautiful! You know, purple in any shade was her favorite color. Thanks-I really needed it.

I'll be glad when this week is over. Maybe I won't feel so stressed out!

 

[unit5610]

I've lost my mom in a sense over the last 10 years as Alzheimers has taken away most of her cognizance (sp?). She hasn't been able to speak in about 6 years and has been in a nursing home for the last 4. Both of my parents are in their mid 80s. My dad, who is in excellent shape, drives 20 miles each way every day to feed my mom lunch...I'm farther away and go with him about once a week as my schedule permits. Seeing his dedication to her has been inspiring and touching. It's been sad to see my mom decline but she is very much at peace compared to the earlier Alzheimers time period, and I still feel that I have her even if she may not know me. It will be very difficult when they are no longer here, but the good, along with the bad, of this whole experience will stay with me forever. Somehow I feel I am a better, calmer and more appreciative person for it.
Sorry for being so long-winded!
Kis, I wish you peace and happiness and fond thoughts of your mom's life.

 

[TheFactor]

I've had friends that died on me. Diseases I didn't know people their age could get! I used to have those dreams where I would be sitting in a room and they would just walk in, laughing and smiling like nothing had ever happened. Its hard, I can relate.

 

[kis123]

You know, I'm supposed to be mature enough to realize that I'm not the only one who's lost a loved one. But it gets lonely sometimes and I've really been missing her.

Posting this thread has made it a little easier to handle. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and input. I hope this has helped someone else who may be going the through the same.

 

[steph]

Well, my mom (who didn't raise me) is in her 70s and I know if she dies, I'd majorly freak out. I cannot imagine how you're coping.
XOXO