An Odd and Somewhat Specific Dilemma

[the tickleshow]

I recently entered divorce proceedings a few months back. As a result, I have made the decision to be true to myself and only enter into a relationship in the future with a woman who could at least explore my fetish with me. I also now have the mentality that if a woman is not interested, so be it, move on to the next opportunity; there will always be another.

I married a woman who was very into tickling before we were married, then argued with me that it was an illness in need of treatment AFTER we were married.

Anyway, I recently met a woman and, true to my new attitude, I told her right away of my tickling fetish. She tried it with me right away and has discovered it as a turn on for herself.

Now here is the dilemma; she knows of my fetish but not of my work as a video producer. I plan on telling her tomorrow. As part of my "new single attitude", I am not worried she will stop seeing me, I am worried that me telling her about this will hurt her, as she seems to really like me.

Am I worrying too much?

 

[SoleSearcher]

Yes and no...on one hand I totally can understand being a bit hesitant to tell her about your producing...BUT...even though it sounds incredibly cliche', if she freaks, she definitely isn't the right one for you. I think you may be pleasantly surprised though...I've been shocked by how cool most women are about it.

Best of luck no matter what!

 

[Cavum]

I think you worrie to much dude. You are the way you are and thats why it's important that the girl you get together with aproves your life and lifestyle. Girls within the fetish/BDSM scene can be pretty open about stuff

Good luck tomorrow

 

[mabus]

Well, you got to tell her either way - if she doesn't find out now, she'll eventually find out later on if it gets serious between you and her.

On another note, if she is "the one," tell her what happened in your last marriage, just in case SHE does the same thing your soon-to-be ex-wife did!

(Since I'm divorced, but have given up on finding my "soul mate," in other parts of my life I'm all about telling everything. Being coy never helped anyone, and usually just screws up a situation that could be fixed by simply telling all the facts. "Yes boss, we had this problem customer, he said exactly this, I said exactly this, in this tone, he insulted me with this tone....etc." )

Actually, being "coy" has become a HUGE pet peeve of mine, and I'll get so obnoxious, usually jokingly, that I'll get all the facts then.

And I've found that yes, the truth does set you free. Given all the facts, most people can make much better informed decisions, no one gets paranoid, every knows where they stand, etc. I guess Jesus DID know what He was talking about!

 

[Aimee]

...and if shes not okay with you producing tickling videos?

i mean, since you said tickling is now a turn on for her it will probably bother her. you are tickling other women. some people are cool with it and can let it go...but for me, personally, i would be very jealous.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

It's nice that you don't want to hurt her, but what is the alternative? Stop producing videos just in case? Don't tell her and hope she never finds out? You don't have much of a choice. I hope it works out, though.

Best of luck!

 

[chicago]

You'll have to explain it in a way that she doesn't get the idea that you're getting off on tickling other women. If you do get off on that, that's gonna be a whole separate can of worms. The bf does the same thing, but I know in his head it's just a job, I trust him, and I'm not really an insecure/jealous person. I keep what he does at a distance. I don't watch his clips or look at his sites really because seeing his hands on other women is a little disconcerting, but I support what he does and it doesn't really bother me at all. Although, I did know that he was a clip producer way before we ever started dating. That's the kinda thing you probably bring up ASAP as it looks like now feelings have been developed and it could get messy.

 

[the tickleshow]

Thanks everyone. To answer as many people as possible on this thread, - Mabus/Annie Hall - doing tickling videos to me is no different that when I worked in television or parked cars, etc. So many of my customers tell me they are jealous, but to be honest, I very often forget that I am tickling someone bcause I spend almost 100% of the shoot watching my return screen so I can make sure the shots are centered, lights are ok, etc.
Even the videos that include nudity or clit/crotch tickling are done with me watching the monitor and not getting any pleasure out of it. I don't and won't hide that.

- Aimee, Skipadeedoodah, to be honest, if she's not ok with it, we will no longer see each other. I gave up or had to hide this aspect of my life for too long. I won't do that again.

Once producing videos stops becoming profitable (which, by the looks of things may be sooner than later) I will stop, but until then, it's a job I proudly perform.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

As long as you explain it to her- I mean.... Just know that she has a right to feel the way she feels. If she thinks it is something that she can't get past, then you work from there. BUT, it might not bother her. All you can do is be true to yourself, and trust that it will work out. Just be prepared if it doesn't.

I do admire you for your honesty
Sunny

 

[WorkInProgress]

Suggestion: Don't give it a big buildup. Just tell her, the same way that you would tell her you like to hike or go to baseball games. When it comes to hurting her, you can only be who you are, and she can only be who she is, and you'll both make your decisions accordingly. But don't sit her down and say "Now I have a very deep secret to reveal to you, and I hope you won't freak out, the way most people would freak out, but you're going to have to know this, and I hope you can handle it..." Rather, just tickle her, and when she says "You really like tickling," say "I even make videos of it. Want to see a few?"

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

As long as you don't "tell" her by asking her to sign a model release form.... Be honest with her, including the level of arousal you get from your video work. I hope this relationship goes well for you both. My ex-wife was certainly tickled by me at any opportunity while we dated and seemed to have at least some fun with it. Like your case, after our "I do's" were said she soon became "I do not want to be tickled".

 

[rhiannon]

Well, of course there is a chance that she will not accept you being a tickling producer. I mean, how would you feel if she told you that she is a porn model? I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy about that either.

But nevertheless, you just have to tell her and hope for the best. Being honest is very important here.

 

[the tickleshow]

Well, of course there is a chance that she will not accept you being a tickling producer. I mean, how would you feel if she told you that she is a porn model? I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy about that either.

But nevertheless, you just have to tell her and hope for the best. Being honest is very important here.

I have to be honest with you, if you know me, you'd know that I am not one who worries about what my partner does for a living. I had a girlfriend when I was 22 who told me after a few weeks of dating that she was a massage girl at a gentleman's club and provided erotic massages. I didn't care. As far as I am concerned, we are all adults, so we are all entitled to do as we see fit. It would be different if she was working a job that exposed her to very real disease. If she was a street prostitute, I'd have a problem, but only due to health concerns. As far as the job itself; as long as she is happy doing it, then do it; I just don't care.

 

[rhiannon]

As far as the job itself; as long as she is happy doing it, then do it; I just don't care.

That for sure is not a very common attitude. I don't know anybody who looks at it that way.

 

[Lea28]

Fun and fury...

To me, the fact that u and your new girlfriend are into tickling is awesome, and I would personally find it sexy to "be" with a guy who knows all the best tickle moves, and even likes me to tickle him too, BUT I am way too jealous to be intimate with a guy that tickles other women for work or pleasure.

OK, tickling does not have to be romantic or sexual, maybe, but with you and your girlfriend it must be... like it is with me and most of us here. For example, if your new gf knows that you love to tickle her feet while making love, she will wonder, or I would, if you are playing the same game with a HOT model...

I'm sure you have models that love ticklesex, and that creates a problem, doesn't it? So what do you tell your new gf...the truth of course, but please don't be surprised if it scares her...

I used to date a guy that loved me to talk about how other guys tickled me in the past, but "past" is the important operative word.

Good luck... i hope she's wicked open minded!

But to close on a plus, it is sexy that you produce tickle vids...

Lea

 

[mabus]

Hey Tickleshow, I started a new thread to discuss the odd situation you found yourself in:

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=195378

 

[the tickleshow]

Good news! I told her and her reply, after hearing the whole story,"I have no problem with it; I trust you and I believe in your character."

 

[WorkInProgress]

Congratulations.

I see you list NY as your location. Are you in the city?

 

[chicago]

Good news! I told her and her reply, after hearing the whole story,"I have no problem with it; I trust you and I believe in your character."

Go you! It can't be easy to find someone as cool as that. Congrats.

 

[the tickleshow]

Go you! It can't be easy to find someone as cool as that. Congrats.

I believe your guy has done the same thing, Miss Annie.

 

[the tickleshow]

Congratulations.

I see you list NY as your location. Are you in the city?

Born and raised.

 

[the tickleshow]

To me, the fact that u and your new girlfriend are into tickling is awesome, and I would personally find it sexy to "be" with a guy who knows all the best tickle moves, and even likes me to tickle him too, BUT I am way too jealous to be intimate with a guy that tickles other women for work or pleasure.

OK, tickling does not have to be romantic or sexual, maybe, but with you and your girlfriend it must be... like it is with me and most of us here. For example, if your new gf knows that you love to tickle her feet while making love, she will wonder, or I would, if you are playing the same game with a HOT model...

I'm sure you have models that love ticklesex, and that creates a problem, doesn't it? So what do you tell your new gf...the truth of course, but please don't be surprised if it scares her...

I used to date a guy that loved me to talk about how other guys tickled me in the past, but "past" is the important operative word.

Good luck... i hope she's wicked open minded!

But to close on a plus, it is sexy that you produce tickle vids...

Lea

Lea, first of all, thank you for the complement.
To answer a few things you mention...actually one specific thing you mention; if any of my models love ticklesex, they haven't expressed that love to me. All but 2 of my models had NEVER even heard of tickling as a fetish when they did their first video with me. Alicia only revealed to me on Saturday, when we shot her latest video that she has a tickling fetish. Tina, who did not have a tickling fetish when we met for her first video actually has one now. She is also happily engaged and we are very cool with each other on a professional level.
The funny thing is, I have never even considered doing anything with any of my models except tickling them on camera. Jessie, who has made 4 videos with me sort of attempted to "give herself" to me after we finished her last video. I very quickly quashed that. I can't be unprofessional, even with a willing participant. I hire these ladies and, with rare exceptions I like these ladies, but not in the romantic or physical sense; I end up liking them as people, because I have been lucky enough that 99% of my models are very cool people who lead very cool lives.
Now if I could only get people to buy the clips or DVDs!

 

[the tickleshow]

So because good things never last, I found out today that my lovely new 'lee girlfriend will be moving from NY to Kentucky for work in the next few weeks.
Because I have a child from a previous marriage who is not even in school yet, I can't go with her. It's the first time I will be breaking up with someone for no real personal reason.
It's a shame; she was ok with me producing tickle vids, she was really becoming a full-blown 'lee and we were really hitting it off.
*sigh*

 

[rhiannon]

Sometimes things just are too good to be true!

 

[the tickleshow]

Sometimes things just are too good to be true!

You mean like how I have to live with the terrible thought that your ticklish feet are 5000 miles away from my fingers?
I'll be fine, I'm sure. It just sucks that this ended so abruptly and NOT because she or I had a problem with each other.