Anniversary "gift"

[iloveddub]

Well, as many know I have a marriage dying out....BUT....as a gift for our 8 yr. anniversary, he decided to "play" . He let me tickle him for awhile, then turned the tables. My complaint is I think he hurt me (again). Is this a problem for anyone else? He digs in so hard, despite my yelps of pain. My ribs are sore and feel bruised. It was almost a gift.....

 

[MrTicklefeet]

He's just being an unconscious fuck. There's no reason to dig that hard.

 

[Flatfoot]

Aside from yelping in pain, I recommend verbally telling him to dial it down during the act (if you can get the words out! ), but be supportive in the communication. Some people do not know their own strength, and he may not have been able to differentiate your sounds between sounds of pain versus sounds of "play." I used to think safewords were not necessary, until I read more into BDSM. Communication signals are key during any bedroom play. If you use a gag, come up with some other means--like a hand signal, for example, or things can get dangerous.

 

[milagros317]

On two occasions I woke up the morning after a tickling session with bruised ribs. Once was from Mistress Kassandra and one was from Mistress Feral (both now retired as pro Dommes). In both cases I was unaware of the pain during the tickling session and only discovered the injury the next morning.

 

[robmic]

Well, as many know I have a marriage dying out....BUT....as a gift for our 8 yr. anniversary, he decided to "play" . He let me tickle him for awhile, then turned the tables. My complaint is I think he hurt me (again). Is this a problem for anyone else? He digs in so hard, despite my yelps of pain. My ribs are sore and feel bruised. It was almost a gift.....

Tickling and pain DO NOT go together! Just my opinion....

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

He's just being an unconscious fuck. There's no reason to dig that hard.

have to agree. sometimes it takes a conscious effort to listen to a lee's response to get to tickling right. when lers do this...it means they aren't thinking of anything but themselves and their fetish

 

[iloveddub]

have to agree. sometimes it takes a conscious effort to listen to a lee's response to get to tickling right. when lers do this...it means they aren't thinking of anything but themselves and their fetish

My toughest issue is he has no fetish. I'm concerned this was "revenge". It was dressed up as I'm going to give you what you love, but turned into misery. I've been "workout" sore before, but never bruised...

 

[voided9]

That sucks =/ The light, gentle tickles are the best feeling and the most fun!

 

[JoePTickle]

Hopefully next time he'll be better about figuring what you enjoy most, if there's a next time. Maybe use a safe word? Sorry to hear that. What's the fun when your lee is in pain?

 

[rhiannon]

There's a lot of guys who can't tickle. 'lering is not as easy as a lot of people think.

 

[robmic]

My toughest issue is he has no fetish. I'm concerned this was "revenge". It was dressed up as I'm going to give you what you love, but turned into misery. I've been "workout" sore before, but never bruised...

Ummmmm......, you might want to take a good look at him. There are some issues here. Anyone that would hurt someone they are supposed love has underlying issues. If it were me, I'd be concerned with my safety. If he does have issues, I can see things getting out of hand real easy..... You stated that "you have a marrage that is dying out". It might be time to let it go...... before you really get hurt!

 

[Cavum]

Tickling and pain DO NOT go together! Just my opinion....

There is a big difference between bad pain and good pain. "Dig tickling" is not a good pain. But tickling and pain actually works perfect together if your into it and do it right.

 

[iloveddub]

There's a lot of guys who can't tickle. 'lering is not as easy as a lot of people think.

This is so true! Every ler should take this to heart. Some people, will never be a good ler.

 

[iloveddub]

When your lee is saying stop, ouch, and your hurting me. Pretty good indicator. The first ouch, I hesitate and check in. He won't be doing it again.

 

[iloveddub]

Stop is NOT a good indicator, nearly everyone says stop when they are being tickled, even if they like it. If someone knows the person likes being tickle "tortured" and is doing tickle "torture" for that person, then I don't think hearing a lone "stop" would lead them to believe they really need to stop. If its not the first time you were so miserable, then your obviously not experienced enough playing with each other - or others, and obviously need some set word or signal to clarify.

"Ouch" and "your hurting me", or - "stop it hurts" - would be good indicators that it is hurting however.

You see, with what you first post "yelps of pain" to me that doesn't say "oooowwwwwwww" or "ouch" I read that as general shrieks and screams just like people often do when they are tickled.

I kept my first post brief because it was really just a question. How many others had pain during and after a session. This is no "ler". He knows me well enough that I dont say stop. Yelps are normal, but not when I say it hurts, and scream the magic words that end any session....you're hurting me.

 

[AnnafromFinland]

Tickling and pain DO NOT go together! Just my opinion....

And my opinion too!

 

[roxita]

Sorry to hear that you were in pain. For me, I must be tickled hard for it to work, and it hurts, and it tickles.. Yes, sore ribs and feet are the consequences of being tickled.

But he should respond if you are saying it hurts!