BDSM folks and tickling - they DO go together! :)

[LindyHopper]

I had an cool experience over the weekend. Anyone interested in reading the details in all their sexually explicit glory can find the complete account here in the True Tickling Stories forum.

Anyway, what happened was that I was at a BDSM club for a weekend conference, in the mood for a gang tickle, but without any of my usual tickling friends in attendance. I've never seen anyone else at this club doing any tickling, so I wasn't sure what kind of interest there would be. So, as a bit of experimentation and fantasy-fulfillment, my husband and I decided to tie me to a bondage table and put the following sign in the doorway:

COME TICKLE ME!
Light touch works best.
Feathers are nice.
I'm ticklish everywhere!

And lo and behold, a crowd gathered! And they certainly seemed to enjoy tickling me, these folks who were usually into flogging, and caning, and bondage, and humiliation play. I got the impression that putting me through my paces, making me give all these reactions involuntarily, and seeing me "suffer" was the kick, regardless of the specific activity. Apparently, sadism is sadism, no matter what you happen to be doing.

Several people thanked me afterward for letting them participate. A few took pains to help make it happen again the in future! And one person I hadn't met even struck up a conversation with me the next day, saying he was very sad to have missed my scene (he was busy with a suspension scenario at the time), because he enjoys tickling, too. We engaged in some playful tickling, relaxing in the social area after 2 am at Sunday's party. Tragically, he and his happy-giggly, ticklish partner live in Virginia. But I directed him to the TMF, and told him he should go to NEST, since it's only a few hours away.

So anyway..... my point is that I was surprised by such a positive response. I had generally understood the BDSM community to be supportive of diverse activities within their kinky umbrella, but I still didn't expect such active interest and participation from so many people who are usually into much harder (or at least very different) stuff. It was a cool thing to see, and I definitely encourage even "pure" tickle-enthusiasts to seek out these connections with the greater BDSM community. The people are fantastic, and they have so much to share.

Do other people have interesting experiences crossing tickling with BDSM, in terms of folks who are primarily involved in one or the other? What issues came up, or didn't come up? Has anyone ever felt like a foreign traveler, or fit right in like family? What did you discover from the experience?

And comments on the whole putting-up-a-sign thing are welcome as well.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

sounds like a good time! i have yet to hit one of the two BDSM clubs in the area, but i'm wondering if i did something similar i'd get a good reaction? ah, no harm in tryin'. glad things went so well, though. perhaps, if more of the BDSM crowd saw such like that, more in the lifestyle would be willing to give it a shot.

 

[TicklesFemales]

Great Story

Lindy that was an excellent story. It sounds like you had a great time being tickled by everyone. I wish I could have been there to tickle you. I am not into the whole BDSM scene cause a lot of it deals with pain, but I am very much into bondage and tickling a really ticklish lady. Tickling can be tortureous for some who are really very ticklish, and I guess you can say that I am the kind of guy who when I find a really extremely ticklish lady I want to tickle them more and for longer periods of time. I loose interest in tickling someone who is not that ticklish. I like the screamers, laughers and beggers who are so ticlklish. Anyway just had to comment on your story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

TicklesFemales

 

[milagros317]

Great missionary work. The more people previously not into tickling that you convert, the better.

 

[maniactickler]

No video tape of this?

 

[Icycle]

It was a cool thing to see, and I definitely encourage even "pure" tickle-enthusiasts to seek out these connections with the greater BDSM community. The people are fantastic, and they have so much to share.

It's probably obvious from the story that I had a good time at the play parties, but in addition to that I really enjoyed the conference. My primary experience in the kink world is in the tickling community, but I didn't feel like an outsider. I think the tickling world has a lot more in common with the BDSM world than people might realize. It's not just about being an ambassador from tickling trying to gain new converts; the BDSM folk also have plenty to teach us about things like bondage; the physical, psychological, and emotional relationship between top ('ler) and bottom ('lee); how to deal with different kinds of relationships, play partner, friend with kinky benefits, life partner, etc; how to make your scenes more interesting with music, lights, costume, and/or roleplay; and much more!

It's true that not everything I learned over the weekend was useful or interesting for ticklers, but certainly enough of it was that more ticklers should be willing to seek out and attend such conferences. Heck, given the interest we saw in Lindy's tickling scene at the play party, I've even considered presenting a session on erotic tickle torture at one of these conferences in the future.

 

[dvnc]

Those that do brave the BDSM clubs now are having much better interactions. We're no longer quite the strange addition. LA's gatherings are at one of the clubs down there, and I've yet to see that event be anything but excellent, with folks coming in and out of our scene regularly. Likewise years back, with a handful of us "brave" enough to go to a club in San Francisco. I prefer LA's club, but the SF mob was three deep and participative. That was cool.

Better still, some of us are crossing over to try other play that would otherwise be an unknown pleasure. It's great to see that sort of thing go.

Congrats on what sounds like a great time for you, and on representing us so well!

 

[Redmage]

I'm so sorry I missed it. But if it was the conference that I think it was, then I fear I'm too old to have attended.

Icycle is right that BDSM has a lot to teach ticklers. Too many ticklephiles are put off by the pain elements, but in fact those aren't necessary. As Lindy put it, sadism is sadism, even if tickling is the tool. And BDSM play is often playful even when tickling is not involved. There are many specialties in BDSM; tickling is only one. But basics are the same for all of them.

On the matter of the sign, that's a nice a touch. I've seen (and done) that sort of thing before with other styles of play. For example I was at a party once with a lady who liked blindfolds and who enjoyed being the center of attention for a large group. So I tied her naked to an upright pole, blindfolded and gagged her, and put a sign on the pole that read "Touch her anywhere you like, hands only." It wasn't a tickling scene, and it wasn't painplay either, but it was a lot of fun for the crowd and very intense for the lady.

That sort of play is one of the things that a BDSM party offers that you really can't get in any other venue: the chance to let yourself be restrained and helpless while total strangers do some pretty intimate things to you, yet you can be confident that you're perfectly safe and that no one will do anything that you don't want them to do.

Kudos to Lindy.

 

[Coda]

I think a lot of fetishes are, at their core, the same fetish.

 

[RavenMoon]

I came to the tickling community by way of my Love. I am a sadomasochist at heart and he is a sensualist. We met on a BDSM site.

I have found that tickling fits very well into my sessions with my own submissives. I use sensation play as a warm up to the harder stuff they are being trained in. Tickling reinforces the playful nature of our sessions.

In my discussions with others in the BDSM community, I have found a large amount of sensualists who greatly enjoy tickling as well. While pain and humiliation play are usually viewed as more prevelant in BDSM, I have found that not to be true. I know a large amount of participants who are merely into the power exchange and control. They look for reaction out of their submissives and bottoms. They tend to do this through sensation play and tickling fits it there beautifully.

Then there are the ones like me. The sadomasochists who have discovered that tickling is a much different intensity. While I can focus pain into pleasure by concentration and meditation through a scene, tickling forces me to face the sensation much differently. Focus is much harder to achieve. And I have learned well that a tickle session can become very rough and give me the pain I crave as well. Ask any that have tickled me what I respond more to

I can see why it would have worked well for you at a dungeon. Most dungeon masters make darn sure that proper etiquette and protocol is followed. And those in attendance tend to enforce it as well. There is a heavy amount of respect therefore that exists in such places.

I love the idea of the sign! Not only did it invite others to join in on a scene, which most of us love to do, but it also brought in the "stranger" element!

 

[lk70]

I introduced a "regular" dom to tickling and now he's rather obsessed with it, which is too bad for him since he and I didn't work out in the long run. It's a lot more difficult for him to find willing partners in the BDSM scene.

The Dom-sub-friends group based in NYC has weekly workshops and they've had a tickling one. I didn't get to go, but heard it was VERY well attended, but primarily by tops. I guess that shouldn't be too surprising.

 

[drew70]

Well, there's nothing to say that people can't like both apples AND oranges

 

[Dead Dolly D]

I introduced a "regular" dom to tickling and now he's rather obsessed with it, which is too bad for him since he and I didn't work out in the long run. It's a lot more difficult for him to find willing partners in the BDSM scene.

The Dom-sub-friends group based in NYC has weekly workshops and they've had a tickling one. I didn't get to go, but heard it was VERY well attended, but primarily by tops. I guess that shouldn't be too surprising.

BleuFetish has taught some tickling classes at TES. TES is a bdsm educational group also located in NYC.

For more info www.tes.org on any of their bdsm classes.

And what I have found is that there are more and more people who are getting into tickling on the bdsm side because of how sadistic and non sadistic one can be with their partner(s) and also with tickling you do not have to bring a toybag with you to the club. just bring yourself. also, tickling is such an easy scene, to do because you can go from a light fun loving scene, to such an intense mind fucking scene...its fantastic.

Best,
Dead Dolly D
BleuFetish Videos

 

[50greg]

I came to the tickling community by way of my Love. I am a sadomasochist at heart and he is a sensualist. We met on a BDSM site.

I have found that tickling fits very well into my sessions with my own submissives. I use sensation play as a warm up to the harder stuff they are being trained in. Tickling reinforces the playful nature of our sessions.

In my discussions with others in the BDSM community, I have found a large amount of sensualists who greatly enjoy tickling as well. While pain and humiliation play are usually viewed as more prevelant in BDSM, I have found that not to be true. I know a large amount of participants who are merely into the power exchange and control. They look for reaction out of their submissives and bottoms. They tend to do this through sensation play and tickling fits it there beautifully.

Then there are the ones like me. The sadomasochists who have discovered that tickling is a much different intensity. While I can focus pain into pleasure by concentration and meditation through a scene, tickling forces me to face the sensation much differently. Focus is much harder to achieve. And I have learned well that a tickle session can become very rough and give me the pain I crave as well. Ask any that have tickled me what I respond more to

I can see why it would have worked well for you at a dungeon. Most dungeon masters make darn sure that proper etiquette and protocol is followed. And those in attendance tend to enforce it as well. There is a heavy amount of respect therefore that exists in such places.

I love the idea of the sign! Not only did it invite others to join in on a scene, which most of us love to do, but it also brought in the "stranger" element!

As I've mentioned in threads before, I have a good online buddy into BDSM who would choose heavy pain over being tickled every time. Like Raven, she says tickling breaks her focus. She says being tickled now only makes her angry, but I suspect it's a control issue with her. Being tickled puts the ler in control, at least ostensibly, and she doesn't like not being in control of herself.

 

[LindyHopper]

Thank you for all your responses!

Like Icycle said, the whole conference experience was very educational, because there are so many concepts that apply to what we do. There were workshops on safewords, on bondage, on negotiating different kinds of relationships: topics that are basic to the needs of tickle enthusiasts. I think a lot of tickle fetishists simply don't know, or don't want to think about, how their interest relates to other fetishes. Aside from a minority of people who operate in both worlds, we seem to have sort of an isolationist thing going on here. And that's really too bad, because without the benefit of many decades of experience (and the very cool people who have it!) we keep seeing new ticklephiles trying to reinvent the wheel.

As for how tickling and BDSM relate: I'd say that both tickling and painplay are about getting a reaction out of the sub. It's about a top layering on sensations, and the bottom needing to process them.

I agree with what RavenMoon and 50greg said about focus. When I watched other scenes around the dungeon - someone being singletailed bloody, or having hundreds of clothespins clipped to her breasts, stuff like that - what I noticed most was the serenity in the subs. They seemed to be in this relaxed, meditative state, that was achievable for, and through, the pain. Tickling is certainly different here: it's about losing control, and being overwhelmed. The psychological goal is quite a contrast.

I'm excited about my "missionary work" (because clearly, I do these things for the good of the community). I did notice that it's much easier to generate interest among tops. I've yet to see a bottom watch a tickling scene, and say, "Hey, I'd like to try that!" But maybe it's about planting the seed of an idea that might take root later. Even though a dungeon is a very supportive place to experiment, with such solid and well-respected protocols for safety and etiquette, experimenting with tickling, especially for someone accustomed to processing pain, has got to make one feel very vulnerable.

Anyway, I reiterate that people should go explore their local BDSM world. dvnc: if you haven't checked out the new south bay club yet, you should - its smaller and more intimate, with a better use of space. Cloudgazer: I'm sure people will be totally into what you're doing!

Homework: go pay your local club a visit, and report back!

 

[dvnc]

Anyway, I reiterate that people should go explore their local BDSM world. dvnc: if you haven't checked out the new south bay club yet, you should - its smaller and more intimate, with a better use of space. Cloudgazer: I'm sure people will be totally into what you're doing!

Yeah? I'll have to peep. Would be nice to find a club locally that I like. Hasn't been the case thus far. Yours is the first indication to entice.

Bound to happen eventually. I can't stay busy forever. I hope not, anyway...

Ain't rechecked in a while, but I could SWEAR there were more than 2 clubs locally. I include a hours drive in any direction, mind. Some great private play spaces, too.

 

[Icycle]

Would be nice to find a club locally that I like.

Have you visited some local clubs already and found them unsatisfying?

Ain't rechecked in a while, but I could SWEAR there were more than 2 clubs locally. I include a hours drive in any direction, mind. Some great private play spaces, too.

There are at least three BDSM clubs that I'm aware of between San Francisco and San Jose. I've personally only visited the one in the south bay, and I have had a great time every time I've visited. The facility is great, and the community is very warm and welcoming.

 

[Oddjob0226]

At the last Houston event we had a good mix of "both" people there... a very small number were into both scenes, in fact.

For the most part the BDSM people and tickling people didn't play together, but they were all respectful and civilized outside of one another's scenes.

And of course a few curious onlookers from each camp checked out some of the action happening on "the other side", just to see. And get ideas, I'd bet.

Congratulations on your special night! Yes, it can happen.

 

[vsa7a]

'BDSM folks' and tickling may go together but i dunno bout tickling in general and BDSM. ;p

 

[Redmage]

'BDSM folks' and tickling may go together but i dunno bout tickling in general and BDSM. ;p

Well, since the only people who are likely to combine the two are "BDSM folks," that's probably up to them.

 

[LindyHopper]

It's probably reasonable to expect actual crossover to take some time, but exposure is certainly the first step (nice job, Oddjob!). Being willing to mix at the same party is definitely a good start. I think both groups tend to have some preconceptions about the other, that largely evaporate once you actually meet and spend time together.

And aside from the good people involved... the question of whether tickling and BDSM go together - whether or not the activities themselves are compatible - reminded me of a particularly good account posted here by a friend. It's a very old one, and I'm sure other people have written about relevant experiences since then. Still, I think he conveyed beautifully how spanking and tickling can synergize, and how the top-bottom, 'ler-'lee interaction can have just the same dynamic of dominance and submission, showing that these two activities are simply two paths to the same destination. It's a good story, and well worth reading.


Originally Posted By Boomtown13:

She really wanted me to meet her there, since Palm Springs is just a two-hour drive away for me. Not even a full audio book. It was a weekend I didn't have the kids, so I felt compelled to go. Partly out of curiosity, mostly out of the fact that it's impossible to say no to Bella. Even if she IS your sub.

It was the Shadow Lane late summer party. Shadow Lane, the premier spanking company in the country. The thing about it is... I'm a Tickler. This was going to be a hotel full of spankers. And spankees.

Bella was waiting for me outside the main ballroom when I arrived late Saturday night. The formal hub-bub of the weekend had just concluded, and the NESTie hotel room parties were in full bloom. She took me immediately up to one of them.

The door opens, allowing you in, and you notice two things simultaneously -- the standing-room-only crowd, and the SLAP-SLAP-SLAP noise.

Bella introduced me around. I met the head of the company, a number of polite folks, and a bevy of cute girls. I watched some of the scenes -- men and women who were as into spanking as we are into tickling. I wasn't moved to join a scene until.

Until.

One of Bella's friends approached me, laughing and saying, "Boom, you have to play with Erica. She thinks you're cute, and wants you to spank her. She's very choosey about who she plays with." She pushed me towards a dark-haired thin girl who was indeed quite cute. Winging it, I took her by the hand and led her into the bedroom where the scenes where happening. As I was leading her, Bella called after her, "You realize he's my friend from the tickling world, don't you?" Erica stopped for a second, exclaiming, "What?!" And then I knew I had to go through with it. I dominantly pulled her into the next room.

There were other scenes going on around us in the very same room, but I sat on the bed and put her over my knee, and commenced spanking.

I had only trifled in spanking before. When I lived with a Lady Laura's girl for a while, I'd spank her occasionally. You could say rarely. (Or you could say "rearly.")

But here I was, spanking this girl, and a good amount of the party came in from the other room to watch. Turns out this Erica girl is a much-desired sub, who does not submit to 95% of the guys who ask her. She's cute, and she's been the star of a few Shadow Lane videos. I spanked her and spanked her, and her ass was getting red, and she was sassing me (which I guess is her trademark), and I spanked her some more, and the crowd was now watching us -- and then I thought, I'm just gonna do it -- and I tickled her.

On her thighs. She squealed and laughed and told me it wasn't fair. I tickled her again. I told her it was completely fair, and I told her I think she wants me to do it again. I spanked her some more, she was kicking her white-nyloned feet, and I took hold of them, held them by the toes, and slowly raked my fingers from her toes to her heels. She started to squirm, and I told her in a dominating voice that she can't move. I tickled her slowly from toes to heels again, and she didn't move as much, but laughed a hell of a lot. The crowd was in awe. One of them said in a hushed tone, "Wow. You are evil."

She was laughing, but not sassing me anymore. I scratched lightly up her leg to her ass and started spanking again. Her laughter turned into sensual moans, and the crowd saw that it had worked. I had tamed her. She was now in the zone. I reached up and took a hold of her hair as I spanked hard, then tickled her feet again. All she could do now was make noises. I kept it up for a while longer, and I became known as the only guy who could turn Erica into a good girl. Guys came up to me afterwards, thanking me and telling me I did a great job and 'what a show!'

That night, I got Bella all to myself, a ticklee who loves to be tickled. And she was. Relentlessly for quite a while.

The next day, Sunday, was more room parties, and here I was, a novice to the whole spanking world, an outsider, a not-known... and I had four girls lined up to be spanked and tickled by me.

I had a blast. And for proper emphasis, you should read it as: I. Had. A. Blast.

Erica emailed me today asking for a picture of myself, because she wants to pitch me as her partner for her next Shadow Lane video. She lives in LA too, and wants to play again soon. Same with another girl from the party who lives just outside of LA.

How much of a turn-on is it to introduce non-tkers to the world of tk? It's the best, isn't it?

The point of this whole post is to tell those of you who are interested... Tickling and Spanking go so well together, it's insane. I never knew it. They are THE perfect combo. Spanking and tickling. Tickling and spanking. Two great tastes that taste great together. I'm a convert now. Please, brothers and sisters, try it -- you'll like it.

And a hybrid was born. And we saw that it was good.

And on the Seventh day, they rested. For their asses were red, and their minds were filled with the ecstacy of this new joy, of being tickled past their limits, laughing uncontrollably, deep into the far recesses of sub-space.

And they, too, saw that it was good.

Tickling and spanking in LA,
Boomtown

 

[milagros317]

Even if old, that was a wonderful account.
Thanks for posting it.

 

[LindyHopper]

Even if old, that was a wonderful account.

I'm glad you liked it. He's an excellent writer. A hell of a 'ler, too.

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that the qualities that made him successful has a 'ler are the same ones that made him popular as a spanker. People like their 'lers, or their spankers, to have that certain air about them: that "I'm in charge" kind of sensuality. This indicates even further to me that tickling and other forms of BDSM are very closely related.

 

[drew70]

For me, I'm quite happy to leave BDSM and tickling as the seperate distinct interests that they are. It's cool to be interested in one, the other, or even both, but neither BDSM nor tickling require interest or participation in the other. I've seen many threads such as this one that vainly try to marry the two together, but I personally don't feel such a thing is necessary or even desirable, and I've spoken with countless others who agree.

 

[LindyHopper]

For me, I'm quite happy to leave BDSM and tickling as the seperate distinct interests that they are. It's cool to be interested in one, the other, or even both, but neither BDSM nor tickling require interest or participation in the other. I've seen many threads such as this one that vainly try to marry the two together, but I personally don't feel such a thing is necessary or even desirable, and I've spoken with countless others who agree.

I hope you'll invite some of these "countless others" to participate in this thread, especially if they have something more to say than, "Contrary to the personal experiences posted here that clearly indicate the opposite, BDSM and tickling have nothing to do with each other."

No one is saying that having overlapping interests in tickling and BDSM is required. The point is that opening one's mind to exploring outside of a narrowly-defined interest may give one an opportunity to experience something else he or she may enjoy. I was the beneficiary of such open-mindedness on the part of BDSM-ers last weekend, as I described in my original post.

As for whether or not acknowledging the relationship between tickling and other forms of BDSM is necessary or desirable, it seems to me that the only people who would benefit from denying such a relationship are those who don't want their "fun, happy, innocent" interest "tainted" with something "perverted."

Otherwise, it appears to me that the average ticklephile would benefit a lot from accessing the wealth of knowledge and experience that's already out there in the BDSM community. If they did, we wouldn't have so many people confused about how to tie toes without cutting off circulation, or thinking that tickling in suspension bondage would be a fun thing to try on a lark. If you look at the handful of TMF posters who contribute most helpfully on these and other related topics, they are overwhelmingly people who participate actively in both tickling and BDSM.

Without precedents from the BDSM world, ticklers would need to reinvent the wheel about how to create intense ticking experiences while staying safe and happy. Now that notions of consent are highly valued here, and safewords are common practice in the tickling world, what's the point in pretending that these concepts didn't come from BDSM? It's dumb to go about our tickling lives ignoring all the past, present, and future benefit we can derive from allowing some crossover.