Best/worst/dumbest pick up lines you've heard.

[Dussicar]

This thread stems from a bit I caught on the radio this morning.

Being so close to Valentine's Day, they decided to go with a love format.

By nature, when they start reading lists, I just groan and change the channel, but I caught a realy bad pick up line that made me laugh.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Fuck, it's so inappropriate but so funny at the same time. I almost ditched my car from laughing so hard.

Seriously though, what stupid/cheesey/retarded/funny pickup lines have you heard, either from personal experience or just overheard in general?

 

[Goodieluver]

I like spaghetti wanna fuck?

 

[sasaxrah]

I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.

 

[Perduabo]

If I flip this coin, what's the chance I'll get head(s)?

 

[Mister Scruff]

Him: Did it hurt?
Her: Oh god... not this again.
Him: Humour me. Did it hurt?
Her: *sigh*... did what hurt?
Him: When they beat you with the ugly stick. Is your friend seeing anyone?

 

[maniactickler]

After flicking a few drops of water on the girl, ask if you can help her out of those wet clothes.

 

[Snail Shell]

Can I offer you some sex in exchange for sex?

Snail Shell

 

[manic971]

Hey there...lets get a look at that vagina!

...chicks like confidence.

 

[xionking]

You are what you eat and buy tomorrow I plan to have you.

-Xionking

 

[footetickle]

After flicking a few drops of water on the girl, ask if you can help her out of those wet clothes.

lol. Imma have to use this one.

 

[subtle_feather]

Make eye contact, then call the other person over with a "come here" motion of your index finger. If they come over, say "if I can make you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of me."

 

[Snail Shell]

I can smell your ovaries.

(Seriously!)

Snail Shell

 

[CrystalLight]

omfg. This whole thread is epic.

 

[..Glamorous..]

Actually I used to get this all the time from one of my husband's friends, (I'm hoping he was kidding) "Hey, I got some pizza, wanna fuck?" and "Do you have a mirror in your pocket, cause I can see myself in your pants"

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Do you work at UPS? ...cause I just saw you checking out my package.

Might work on 13.

 

[Artoo]

When you fell from heaven, did you land on your face?

 

[CarolinaTickler]

After flicking a few drops of water on the girl, ask if you can help her out of those wet clothes.

I had a friend who used that all the time.

Another good one I heard a friend use was:
Friend: "So listen how about you and I get out of here, go get some coffee and then head back to my place and fuck."
Girl: "No way asshole"
Friend: "Ok fine, we can skip the coffee if you really want to"

 

[xionking]

"I promise that if you scream 'rape', I'll have to give you the benefit of the doubt..."

"I was never one of God's best projects, but I can see by your boobs, that you're a work in progress. You can be my personal project."

"I'm having period pains and you're my plug..."

"I reckon that if we had sex, all STDs would cancel each other out."

"Words have never been my forte, so blllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!..."

-Xionking

 

[gluestick]

"Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cuz I wanna tap that ass!"

 

[CurtWild]

i usually go with "Fuck if I`m wrong but (insert obviously wrong statement)"

turns out that i am always right

 

[lemoncake]

My bed's broken, can I use yours?

 

[CurtWild]

 

[steph]

I always use "is it just me or are you hot in here?" It ALWAYS gets a good response!
XOXO

 

[subterfuge]

"I find that the sexiest part of a woman is the boobies."

 

[kwildoctr]

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

R