dig dug dog
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2001
- Messages
- 1,681
- Points
- 38
I just came upon this rather fascinating find. A fellow named Dave (hmmm...are you among us, dear friend?) wrote to one Betty Dodson who runs an online sex advice site. Dave asked her about being ticklish and got quite a response, as copied below. I have also appended part of Betty's bio at the end. I think this lady deserves our support for her sensitive appreciation of what tickling has to offer!
dig dug dog
Subject: Ticklish?
Dear Ms Dodson:
Great site! I have a question for you...Are you ticklish??? If yes, where? I'd love to see your bare feet
Dave
10-14-99
Hi Dave,
At first, I was planning on a one line answer to your question. But the subject of tickling is fascinating, and since I'm very fond of my sturdy feet that I also think are quite pretty, I got carried away with an early memory.
When I was a kid my brothers would often hold me down and tickle my feet. The more I laughed, screamed, hollered and begged them to stop, the more they enjoyed torturing me. For the first few minutes I secretly enjoyed it too, but it always lasted too long. Eventually I learned to totally let go and not respond even though it still tickled. The moment I stopped struggling, they would lose interest and I was released.
Tickling or being tickled is rarely discussed in relationship to sexual pleasure. Some people see it only as a child's game, but as adults, we continue this activity throughout our lifetimes. After all, most of learned about tickling from our parents who koochie cooed us as babies in our cribs. My mom did "This little piggy went to market" on my toes, which I remember fondly to this day.
We can learn a lot about someone by how they respond to being tickled. Children who have been abused by clumsy parents tickling them excessively can end up with strict boundaries about being touched and never develop a sense of playfulness that is an important part of good partnersex. Those who cannot stand being tickled at all might be suffering from pleasure anxiety.
Wilhelm Reich was the first sexologist to coin the term, "pleasure anxiety" and it's very much a part of our culture. Our basic mistrust of enjoying physical aspects of our bodies comes primarily from religious doctrines. We are afraid of having "too much" of a good thing especially when it comes to sex. For many years, I've watched my clients fight off impending orgasms by bucking, screaming, and twisting as if they were wrestling with the devil struggling to avoid the intense sensations of sexual climax - the very thing they long for. Perhaps being tickled could become a form of therapy for them.
My own personal take on tickling someone is to discover how much sensation they can tolerate, and to discover if I'm playing with someone who has a good sense of humor and fair play. After all, tickling leads to laughter that relieves tensions and releases endorphins. Both contribute to human happiness and we could all use more of that. Now when I'm being tickled past my level of tolerance, I see it as an opportunity to push my boundaries and practice letting go. As a control freak, it's fun for me to experience this playful form of surrendering. One of my first bondage fantasies was to be tied up and tickled until I melted into a heap of laughter and tears.
Happy tickling,
Betty
Betty Dodson, Ph.D., artist, author, and sex educator is an international authority on sexual self-help. Born in Wichita Kansas, she moved to NYC in 1950 and for the next five years attended art school at The National Academy of Design, Art Students League, and one year in Paris. Dodson’s three ground breaking erotic art exhibitions in the sixties and seventies put her at the forefront of America’s peace and love movement. She achieved wide recognition before leaving the art world to become a feminist activist and public advocate for women’s sexual liberation.
dig dug dog
Subject: Ticklish?
Dear Ms Dodson:
Great site! I have a question for you...Are you ticklish??? If yes, where? I'd love to see your bare feet
Dave
10-14-99
Hi Dave,
At first, I was planning on a one line answer to your question. But the subject of tickling is fascinating, and since I'm very fond of my sturdy feet that I also think are quite pretty, I got carried away with an early memory.
When I was a kid my brothers would often hold me down and tickle my feet. The more I laughed, screamed, hollered and begged them to stop, the more they enjoyed torturing me. For the first few minutes I secretly enjoyed it too, but it always lasted too long. Eventually I learned to totally let go and not respond even though it still tickled. The moment I stopped struggling, they would lose interest and I was released.
Tickling or being tickled is rarely discussed in relationship to sexual pleasure. Some people see it only as a child's game, but as adults, we continue this activity throughout our lifetimes. After all, most of learned about tickling from our parents who koochie cooed us as babies in our cribs. My mom did "This little piggy went to market" on my toes, which I remember fondly to this day.
We can learn a lot about someone by how they respond to being tickled. Children who have been abused by clumsy parents tickling them excessively can end up with strict boundaries about being touched and never develop a sense of playfulness that is an important part of good partnersex. Those who cannot stand being tickled at all might be suffering from pleasure anxiety.
Wilhelm Reich was the first sexologist to coin the term, "pleasure anxiety" and it's very much a part of our culture. Our basic mistrust of enjoying physical aspects of our bodies comes primarily from religious doctrines. We are afraid of having "too much" of a good thing especially when it comes to sex. For many years, I've watched my clients fight off impending orgasms by bucking, screaming, and twisting as if they were wrestling with the devil struggling to avoid the intense sensations of sexual climax - the very thing they long for. Perhaps being tickled could become a form of therapy for them.
My own personal take on tickling someone is to discover how much sensation they can tolerate, and to discover if I'm playing with someone who has a good sense of humor and fair play. After all, tickling leads to laughter that relieves tensions and releases endorphins. Both contribute to human happiness and we could all use more of that. Now when I'm being tickled past my level of tolerance, I see it as an opportunity to push my boundaries and practice letting go. As a control freak, it's fun for me to experience this playful form of surrendering. One of my first bondage fantasies was to be tied up and tickled until I melted into a heap of laughter and tears.
Happy tickling,
Betty
Betty Dodson, Ph.D., artist, author, and sex educator is an international authority on sexual self-help. Born in Wichita Kansas, she moved to NYC in 1950 and for the next five years attended art school at The National Academy of Design, Art Students League, and one year in Paris. Dodson’s three ground breaking erotic art exhibitions in the sixties and seventies put her at the forefront of America’s peace and love movement. She achieved wide recognition before leaving the art world to become a feminist activist and public advocate for women’s sexual liberation.
