I wanted to finally have my last say on this issue now that I've been able to take a step back and look at everything with a clearer head. That last statement and the basis of your post has stuck with me and really made me ponder about my time here past, present, and future. Thank you for that. I hated to read that... but it was true.
When My Bf found out about all this- first off he was VERY upset I didn't tell him about any of what's been going on. That's on me. I didn't want to bother him with issues I thought I could handle myself. Now BECAUSE of all this.... we are closer than EVER. It made my relationship stronger, and our Tickle relationship blossoming into something I've only ever could have dreamed of. I was spending SO MUCH time here I actually had withdrawal symptoms the first few days. That's unhealthy not just for me but anyone. But NOW that I can depend on getting tickled regularly... the drive to be here has lessened. I miss it... but... both of us stepping up our game at home has made us both happier and much more relaxed. That should be the goal for any relationship. And to reconfigure this lifestyle... to make my Bf more comfortable... and to mix it so that we both feel safe and secure... that has to be our #1 priority.
To respond to something you wrote- I'm not really a "free spirit". I may appear that way... yes but I'm pretty hard headed when I have my mind set on something, I'm very open minded and giving. Caring. But... I have my limits. Trolls and creeps and scumbags who participate in illegal activities are definitely my limit. People cheating are my limit. Cat fishing me is a limit. Being sent a virus that destroyed my computer is a limit. Hostility towards me and others is a limit. (Not that I've had much at all thrown at me... thank goodness. But still... I care. Bottom line. Maybe too much sometimes but I'm not going to turn myself into a wall because some people can't control their behavior. And on the flip side I have to look at my own behavior and adjust because strangers are unpredictable. I learned that thanks to my very upset and understandably so Bf.
But... just because I've had to lower my expectations of what I can expect here... it's all ok! -it is what it is. I"m just stepping away from a lot of the drama I see. I think when it's in a person's nature to give and give and give... they (me) end up losing a lot more. I began to feel taken advantage of. This is supposed to be fun... and I've waited too long to participate on this board just to throw my hands up and be done with it. All I had to do was reconfigure things. With my Bf. I've sort of had to take what Lady GaGa did and said into my own life. As she said "I'm not taking that picture... I'm not signing that autograph..." etc etc. Because if you feel I am a celebrity... Celebrities have to take precautions as they don't get hurt or taken advantage of. And that's exactly what I have begun to do. I never enjoyed saying no. Some people didn't like hearing no... but... that's life. I'm not thrilled to ever hear no either. LOL I love hearing how much of an important fixture I am here... and want to continue to be that. But... to say simply: priorities just have to be prioritized. And that's a good thing.
It certainly has worked in my/ our favor.
On $$$$- I never see myself charging. I may accept tips at some point and gifts. ( I love the thought of being given feather bouquets, stockings, tickle weapons... things like that at Fetish Parties.
I may have to start Kickstarter's in the future to accomplish the goals I think would be great for me and this Community. Up until now I have not asked for a penny. But how I interact here HAS changed in the sense that now my eyes are open to near everything. Which is what I KNEW would happen eventually. What I did not take into account was the level of mental instability here. I knew there would be that... but not to the extent I have found. Aside from hardcore mental trauma and the like...People wallow in misery around here and that's not healthy to be around 24/7. I myself have a hormone disorder which make me very emotionally unpredictable every month during my period. But... I'm controlling that as best I can. Learning how currently.... But...The issues most people face I cant help with. Most can't unless you are a Mental Health Professional. And it got to the point I felt backed into a corner to be a problem solver. Or to create things for everyone because I have seen the complaints 1 billion times through out the years - the complaints about what people are getting and what they aren't: aka women) And the Tickle world at large. Aka Productions, Photography etc. I can't be responsible for what other people are getting or not getting. But I put that weight on my shoulders and now I'm taking off that weight. I do what I want, when I want. And how I interact is at my and my Bf's discretion. Aside from that not much will change except how much time I spend here. I have other sites and blogs to run... and... I have many more contributions to make aside from what I've already done. I'd like to run an alternate, moderated chat room a couple times a month... I'd love to go to Fetish parties. And more... But that all will take time to sort out. I have so many ideas I'm getting in my own way of accomplishing them with the time I spend here. So.. in order to accomplish all of my dreams (and some of yours)... and to stay in a good mood... yes my time will be limited.
So your statement hit home as did all the ones that my BF had to make. So I just need to be more careful which I was taught at 5 years old. Time to go back to that way of thinking. Taking more precautions is a good thing for everyone not just women.
*hugs and tickles to EVERYONE*
Doll