can self easteem make you a better or worse tickler?

[tru x factor]

well i have very low sself easteem so i serious i could make a person to the point to "tearfull laughter" so by a persons words make you a better or worse tickler?

 

[drew70]

If you ask me, self esteem has nothing to do with it. It's skill and determination that make a good tickler.
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[Marquis De Sade]

I think it might have a little to do with it. Depends on what kinda tickling though really. If its light and playful, sure, probably has nothing to do with it. If you're tickling someone to get him/her sexually charged, then I think it might come into play somewhat. Same as sex and/or foreplay.

If one has low self esteem, you might think you suck at tickling for example and would probably therefore suck.

 

[wishfoot88]

if skill and determination are in good supply then a large ego is good, but if skill and or determination are in short supply then a large ego is a huge letdown for the lee.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

IMO it's all in how you use that ego.

But yeah, skill comes in handy.

Then again, it's all about listening really. Again, same as sex and foreplay. Gotta pay attention to how the other person reacts. Not out loud. But with their body.

 

[tru x factor]

If you ask me, self esteem has nothing to do with it. It's skill and determination that make a good tickler.
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i think thats wrong on a few levels but this is my opion too. skill might have some sort of thing to it but what if you have 0 skill no self easteem tho you will go in blind you will go wiuth your head low you will go in "oh shoot will i suck?" yes they might laugh a few times and say ok stop..but will it be them "really" want that to happen cuz you heard others talk about the person how they reacted and if you are into deep detail about stuff youcan pick up if its real and skill. but if you hear something different it's a disapointment and they want you to stop cuz you suck which can bring you down to the low self easteem factor.

 

[RChello]

bottom line is...

well i have very low sself easteem so i serious i could make a person to the point to "tearfull laughter" so by a persons words make you a better or worse tickler?

have fun with your lee..and if she's real ticklish, you'll find a way to make her laugh

 

[tru x factor]

have fun with your lee..and if she's real ticklish, you'll find a way to make her laugh

well yes i'd have fun but have to get pass the low self easteem spot first the nervousness the shyness of it all. when you have low self easteem it's kinda hard to overcome a moutain

 

[RChello]

I think you missed my point...

well yes i'd have fun but have to get pass the low self easteem spot first the nervousness the shyness of it all. when you have low self easteem it's kinda hard to overcome a moutain

1) find a girl who's fun and enjoys being tickled 2) get out the legos and... ok at least try the first point...

 

[nylonsnfeet]

I think self esteem can be a factor. If you feel you are "not worthy" in any situation, then "fail" is the prevailing attitude. However, also think that what your passion for tickling is plays a big part.

I tend to be on the shy side myself. Self confidence can be improved on. Sometimes those thoughts of "not good-looking enough", "not smart enough".

The interesting thing for me, going back to comment about passion, is my love & enjoyment for tickling puts any lack of confidence in a closet. Become more relaxed, not worried about being "good enough", just having fun.

I also think important to establish a bit of friendship, finding like-minded people, that share your ideas of tickling or being tickled...helps to take some of the pressure off, is my thinking.

Wish you well in life's journey.

 

[tru x factor]

I think self esteem can be a factor. If you feel you are "not worthy" in any situation, then "fail" is the prevailing attitude. However, also think that what your passion for tickling is plays a big part.

I tend to be on the shy side myself. Self confidence can be improved on. Sometimes those thoughts of "not good-looking enough", "not smart enough".

The interesting thing for me, going back to comment about passion, is my love & enjoyment for tickling puts any lack of confidence in a closet. Become more relaxed, not worried about being "good enough", just having fun.

I also think important to establish a bit of friendship, finding like-minded people, that share your ideas of tickling or being tickled...helps to take some of the pressure off, is my thinking.

Wish you well in life's journey.

but see the thing is that there are many ppl out there (just like me that can turn a fun thing into complete friday the 13th horror fest i mean the mind continues to grow and wonder i bet even as you are tickling the person plus as well i know with more tickling you have incountered in your life to the less that have had none or just some. of course the person with 100% out going personality and experirance he will be first the person at the corner eating nachos will be last unknown cuz of the low self easteem and then it's that persons turn then poof the feet get tickled and he scratches her foot he is too rough he might be creepy SOMEETHING down that line will affect that and bring that person lower.. right?

 

[ticklebunny 2]

I think that positive good self esteem definitely needs and has to come into play. I mean this goes whether a public tickle scene or a private tickle scene scenario with a person-whether one on one or more than one person being ler tickling the lee or more than one lee being tickled at a time than by one ler or more than one ler.

Self esteem that is positive and confident needs to be there whether platonic tickles or erotic tickles but especially in the case of erotic tickles.
When I say good healthy self-esteem not saying bordering on cocky or arrogant or know it all...I am saying a healthy balance of good self esteem...knowing your strengths and not being afraid to express those strengths when it comes to being a ler and tickling a lee...being expressing your talent and gift at tickling your lee or lees whether restrained or unrestrained-privately or in public audience. Whether at gatherings or not at big or small gatherings-but more small private small group tickle parties or festivities.

Self confidence also has to be there for a lee-the lee has to feel he or she is worthy to be tickled and feel worthy to know they are worthy to return the favor-know that they are special and worthy to tickle the ler, other person. To get and receive the best tickle sessions-whether friend basis or on a erotic basis with a special person-self confidence needs to be there in healthy good balance emot for both the ler and the lee.

Without a healthy balance of good positive self-esteem and without both partners or parties involved in tickle sessions-feeling worthy and special and feel cared for and feel affection, and feel loved-a tickle session can turn bad and really emot rotten rather quickly. So yes some would say just take tickle skills, but for me I disagree-it is a balance of both-great imaginative creative tickle skills and yet most importantly-a positive great attitude and healthy self confidence-ready to show affection, friendship, and show love and caring to the other person-make the tickle session a great positive and happy encounter and experience....so that there will be guaranteed to be more in the future.

That is what self confidence boils down for me.
It doesn't have to be a great huge abundance and don't want it to border on cocky or arrogant-but healthy-yes I think I am a pretty good ler, great ler or a pretty good, great lee or switch-but I know I have my flaws and weaknesses and I have my strengths, important a lee or ler or switch doesn't think more highly then one should about ones' self -should be about yes getting the tickles you wish-but be more about wishing to tickle and share that affection and friendship and love and caring with friends and others -than about one being about thinking real fantasticly about one's self or how great he or she is as a lee or ler or switch-not sharing kindness and affection and feedback and compliments back. Hope that makes sense.

 

[drew70]

This is just my opinion, as I've no formal education in psychology. I try to keep my self esteem as low as possible. Why? Because I see too many examples of inflated self esteem especially on this forum. Some of these people really believe they are God's gift to the Tickling Community. I'd be more than happy to name names but then there'd be complaints, whining to the mods, deletion, banishment, etc.

Anyway...

I see how some people act and I think, holy sweet Mother of Jesus, don't ever let me get that conceited or self-important.

Humility is a good thing.
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[DJ Tickler]

There is a difference between having a good self esteem and being an ego maniac.

I have a very good self esteem (being in the entertainment industry you need to) but I try not to let my ego run away with me (WAY too many people in the industry do this).

A good self esteem will ensure that if someone says you aren’t that good, you will listen, learn, and improve without breaking into a small heap and crying in the corner naked.
An ego maniac will listen to person who says they are not that good, and then say they are crazy, its them and will storm off having learnt nothing.

Having a good self esteem can not hurt you tickling, but don’t mistake it for ego or vice versa.

Just my two cents

DJ Tickler

 

[DownUnder]

Totally agree with you DJ. Esteem does not equal ego.

It is entirely possible, in fact probable, to have healthy self-esteem without developing a stinking ego.

Esteem is about knowing your strengths and weaknesses, assess yourself fairly, and know your capabilities.

Poor self-esteem comes from making overly negative assessments about yourself. In contrast, ego comes from making overly inflated assessments about yourself.

Just my view

 

[CrystalLight]

Hm.

Perhaps if you had a really, really fucking low self esteem it could make things kinda awkward for both parties.

One- The person lering could end up asking 5 billion 400 thousand questions a second, "Areyouokareyouokareyouokareyouokareyouokareyouok??"

Sure, we like to be checked up on perhaps during a scene. But not that much, you know?

Two- They might not allow to be completely themselves due to thinking the other person might not 'like' them. So, in doing so they will over-think the scene/session/kumquat and end up missing the enjoyment of the whole damn thing.

It varies, I guess.

 

[tru x factor]

1) find a girl who's fun and enjoys being tickled 2) get out the legos and... ok at least try the first point...

well #1 finding the girl who enjoys it...HARD!! #2 legos I'm working on it

 

[Artoo]

Self esteem will probably not be an issue once actually thrown into the foray of meeting someone for tickling, especially if you've met them before in a "vanilla" environment, and have been chatting for a while.
If it's still an issue, then have a drink or smoke some pot, and try again.

 

[tru x factor]

Hm.

Perhaps if you had a really, really fucking low self esteem it could make things kinda awkward for both parties.

One- The person lering could end up asking 5 billion 400 thousand questions a second, "Areyouokareyouokareyouokareyouokareyouokareyouok??"

Sure, we like to be checked up on perhaps during a scene. But not that much, you know?

Two- They might not allow to be completely themselves due to thinking the other person might not 'like' them. So, in doing so they will over-think the scene/session/kumquat and end up missing the enjoyment of the whole damn thing.

It varies, I guess.

I fully agree i mean we can type all we want and be who others want usa to be but in all reality we would lie to them when we get face to face. And yes i'd be that guy who would ask 5 billion questions a second and asking are you ok? want me to stop?

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Hm.

Perhaps if you had a really, really fucking low self esteem it could make things kinda awkward for both parties.

One- The person lering could end up asking 5 billion 400 thousand questions a second, "Areyouokareyouokareyouokareyouokareyouokareyouok??"

Sure, we like to be checked up on perhaps during a scene. But not that much, you know?

Two- They might not allow to be completely themselves due to thinking the other person might not 'like' them. So, in doing so they will over-think the scene/session/kumquat and end up missing the enjoyment of the whole damn thing.

It varies, I guess.

I over-thought a kumquat once and it became an eggplant.

Tru X, so again, is this something you're working on? The self-esteem thing?

 

[tru x factor]

I over-thought a kumquat once and it became an eggplant.

Tru X, so again, is this something you're working on? The self-esteem thing?

yes kinda. but it's not working

 

[Marquis De Sade]

yes kinda. but it's not working

Takes time. Also depends on what you're doing and what exactly it is you're trying to change about yourself.

Hope it works out.

 

[tru x factor]

Takes time. Also depends on what you're doing and what exactly it is you're trying to change about yourself.

Hope it works out.

well thank you but mostly afraid will i suck as a tickler and stuff people tell me there is no bad tickler but i feel there is