DebonairDavid
TMF Regular
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2024
- Messages
- 255
- Points
- 28
I've had this thought that's been bugging me incessantly for the last few days, and now I need help getting it out of my system. I'm not going to air my dirty laundry, but this involves the mistakes I've made with women, especially this one former coworker I got out of a bad, non-dating relationship with a few months ago. Although I've been told I'm very well-meaning, I also have a bad history of inadvertently offending women, which eventually leads to the relationship ending down the road. This is why I've consistently struggled to finally have a girlfriend after so many years. The thing is I don't want to offend them, but because of how many things were working against me growing up, I've subconsciously learned many bad behaviors and its taken me years to unlearn them (something I'm still doing now). My coworker thankfully doesn't have any bigotry towards the disabled, but her admitting not being very knowledgeable about Autism really shows (I'm not condemning her for it, but its still a problem regardless). Yes, I'm aware my behavior towards her was inappropriate, but being that I've had to learn how to have appropriate behaviors on my own, I'm not necessarily the bad guy in all of this. Although I didn't want to portray myself as desperate, my manager and his boss both felt I was coming off that way when I told them I learned from my mistakes, I worked on myself, and that I'm hoping those two things will lead to her and I finally burying the hatchet. Because of that conversation, I still haven't heard anything about this situation finally being put to rest. This is now starting to piss me off because I'm tired of being viewed as "once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit" in her eyes, considering the many wonderful I've done things for her, I have qualities she's legitimately appreciated, and she knows I'm always working on myself because I want to be a better person (which was going on even when her and I were still on good terms). How can I finally get her to let go of this grudge, and see me as a work in progress, without being harassing or overstepping her boundaries?