cancer is awful

[jay t]

hi my name is jay i recently lost my mom to that horrible fucking disese called cancer.its tough and i know im not the only one here that gone through something like this. was just wondering how other people coped with it.belive me im not an asshole i have a heart of steel,but i have to say this is really getting the best of me.looking at someone dye and know u are helpless is the worst i know this is a crappy thing to think about but if anyone can help let me know its difficult

 

[QBWeaver]

I lost both my parents to cancer. Dad got lung cancer even though he had stopped smoking 29 years before. I watched as he wasted away, the cancer went to his brain and changed his personality every so often. He never lost his sense of humor though and was very realistic about what was happening. He died September 7, 2000

My mom had a rare brain cancer. She was given 4-6 months and died 4 months to the day after diagnosed. During that time I lived with her during the week and my brothers would spell me on the weekends. She also never lost her sense of humor and was truly amazing in dealing with her cancer. She became our Christmas Angel on December 24th, 2004.

It's a horrible disease that takes our loved ones much sooner than they should go. My situation sounds much easier than yours in that I had some time with both parents before they died and we talked a great length as to what they wanted done after they passed and we got to talk through absolutely everything you can imagine so there was no confusion about their desires after they left us. Even so... I went for counseling after their passings and that helped ease my own internal conflicts about leaving things undone or unresolved - although I really didn't leave anything unresolved or undone... I just felt that way.

The American Cancer Society is wonderful to deal with. If you'd be willing to get some counseling assistance they will direct you to a counselor to help with your grief. It is truly helpful. Let yourself grieve... it hurts but it's part of the grieving process we all have to go through.

God bless you!

jan

 

[Bugman]

Jay,i'm sorry to hear of the loss of your mother.I have lost more friends and family members to cancer then i care to recall.

The only thing that got me through it was,at least they were no longer in pain,and they were in a better place then this old world can often be.That,and the thought that i would see them all again when my time comes,as i believe,helped me a great deal.

My pm box is open to you if you need to talk or just vent.

 

[Bohemianne]

I'll share you how I personally see someone close wasted away by the disease. Up to now some sad feelings strike at some point in time.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=115199

 

[Adam]

I'll share you how I personally see someone close wasted away by the disease. Up to now some sad feelings strike at some point in time.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=115199

That was heartbreaking, Bo. I'm so very sorry that you had to witness that. To Jay T, I can't imagine what it's like to lose a parent, let alone to something like cancer. I feel very fortunate that said evil illness does not run in my family. However, I am always compassionate to those who have gone through it and have even donated to the American Cancer Society before. Those people deserve our support. As do the both of you.

 

[Tantrum]

hi my name is jay i recently lost my mom to that horrible fucking disese called cancer.its tough and i know im not the only one here that gone through something like this. was just wondering how other people coped with it.belive me im not an asshole i have a heart of steel,but i have to say this is really getting the best of me.looking at someone dye and know u are helpless is the worst i know this is a crappy thing to think about but if anyone can help let me know its difficult

Jay T, I lost my dad to lung cancer fifteen years ago. This April, my mom was claimed by colon cancer. I'd be be lying if I said you'll make it through this easily. But in my case, I have focused on my duties to the living. That's my best advice.

 

[Adam]

Jay T, I lost my dad to lung cancer fifteen years ago. This April, my mom was claimed by colon cancer. I'd be be lying if I said you'll make it through this easily. But in my case, I have focused on my duties to the living. That's my best advice.

Wow, just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts, as well as the others, Tantrum. You have my condolences.

 

[Tantrum]

Wow, just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts, as well as the others, Tantrum. You have my condolences.

I'm mighty thankful to you. Some people find my "save the living," approach cruel, but I'm just being practical. That's all I know how to do. The men in my family don't express our feelings very well.

 

[ticklethisangel]

hi my name is jay i recently lost my mom to that horrible fucking disese called cancer.its tough and i know im not the only one here that gone through something like this. was just wondering how other people coped with it.belive me im not an asshole i have a heart of steel,but i have to say this is really getting the best of me.looking at someone dye and know u are helpless is the worst i know this is a crappy thing to think about but if anyone can help let me know its difficult

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I have been fighting cancer since 1995. Yes it sucks but I refuse to lay down and die! If it is the way I am to die then that bitch is going to have to fight me till my last day! The way I see it is most people hear the word cancer and it actually scares them to death. God is my doctor, I will go when he is ready to take me, I don't think he is ready for me to come to heaven because he knows I am bringing TICKLING with me and then he's in trouble
No really... cancer is terrible but as for me I can't let it win, not now I am not ready to go.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

I am really very sorry to hear Jay T that your mother died from cancer. That is a really terrible thing that happened. I am sooo sorry for your great terrible emotional loss. That is a real tough one, cancer is a really ugly thing. I am sorry that you lost your mother. I only can say I can understand and relate a little; being that my hubby lost his grandfather to emphysema and cancer just last yr-May 17 2007. Sadly it really hurt and really devastated my hubby losing his grandfather. For years he fought a good fight; sadly he did not stop smoking in time; before terrible damage was done-he lived for years but sadly last year he passed away.

My hubby had to watch his grandmother take care of his grandfather along with hospice and care takers also, since she promised to never send him to a nursing home-since her husband-my hubby's grandfather made her promise never to do that. Sadly it was very tough on my hubby and his grandmother to watch his grandfather at the end slowly die and not be the strong physically fit person they knew him to be. But instead to be a bed ridden weak person laying in hospital bed at home and dying. A very sad and heartbreaking scene let me tell you.

But it was a good thing because at the end; he was not coherent and he was really slipping mentally and emotionally out of it; had trouble recognizing things-lack of oxygen and air-trouble breathing-hooked up on oxygen breathing tank. So yes it was heartbreaking but good -because no longer in pain and in Heaven-no longer stuck in bed and not able to move around.

But I know what you are saying Jay T. No matter what the circumstances before loved one or friend or family member dies-does not make a difference-still hurts badly and still breaks your heart and you still have to grief-there is no way to escape the sorrow and grief that we must all go through and learn how to cope with-when this terrible sadness happiness of great emot loss of loved one. Definitely seek professional help if you need it-highly think it a good idea-if you are able definitely seek grief counseling or talk to a counselor-help you deal with the pain and grief and loneliness and sorrow you feel.

Just know I am here for you if ever you wish to chat or someone to listen. I am truly sorry for your loss. May God be with you and comfort and love you, shower blessings and bring emotional healing to your heart and your family, loved ones, and to your family's friends. Hugs to you.

 

[Adam]

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I have been fighting cancer since 1995. Yes it sucks but I refuse to lay down and die! If it is the way I am to die then that bitch is going to have to fight me till my last day! The way I see it is most people hear the word cancer and it actually scares them to death. God is my doctor, I will go when he is ready to take me, I don't think he is ready for me to come to heaven because he knows I am bringing TICKLING with me and then he's in trouble
No really... cancer is terrible but as for me I can't let it win, not now I am not ready to go.

I don't have the words. You are a very brave woman for being such a fighter. Sounds like I don't need to tell you this, but never give up.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Yes, ticklethisangel-your courageous and strong fierce caring and loving words show you are not giving up without a fight and you will fight to the end-that shows great emotional determination, strength and spunk of fierce determined spirit, shows inner fire for life and wishing to seize it live it to the fullest. Shows courage and shows you are brave. You definitely are a inspiration ticklethisangel! So are you Jay T-great how strong and courageous you are being-really good that you are sharing this to help others along with needing to get it off your mind and off your chest-needing people to listen and be there-a way to vent at the emot injustice of losing your mother to cancer. That is understandable. I think it is more than normal and healthy and natural to be more than a bit upset from time to time and sometimes sadly a bit angry and a bit bitter-upset trying to understand and emot accept and emot cope with something or circumstance that does not change how you would see it to-think it is ok and normal at times to be sometimes upset with God on things-long as you do it in a healthy way-be honest with him and share your thoughts and heart with him-this also goes for loved ones and friends... but you know what I mean I think. All about a person's personal relationship with God or with a person-special dynamics only btw 2 people. That makes each connection and each friendship and each relationship special and unique.

Like I said just know I am here for you and I am also here for ticklethisangel; or any friend or person that might be seeking friendship or just needs someone to talk to or someone to be there for him or her; just listen and be there for the person. I think you both and all that have sadly lost loved ones and friends and likely family from cancer, my heart-felt wishes and apologies, soooo sorry. Just know you Jay T, ticklethisangel, and all of you that endure through all this....just know you all are remarkable people.

 

[The Sean Man]

As a cancer survivor, I can say firsthand that the pain felt by those around you is immeasurable. When my aunt died several years ago from cancer, I had an opportunity to speak at her funeral. I spoke about how she had gone out fighting, and never gave up her battle against cancer. I reminded everyone that the strength she showed during her ordeal is what she would want to pass on to everyone in her death.

Keep the faith, Jay T.

 

[Tckleme]

I lost my grandparents to cancer, and now my stepmother got cancer as well...it just sucks.

 

[kis123]

My mom passed away 13 years ago from breast cancer so I know where you're at. Unfortunately for me, it might as well have been yesterday. I'm still hurting and still missing her, especially during the rough road I traveled over the last two years.

I'm sorry for your loss and the only advice I can give is one day at a time. Sometimes it turns into one moment at a time; it never gets easier, just more tolerable.

Take care-you're in my thoughts