Cougar from a Young Age? Do we even need a term?

[monto]

Hi all. I have been away from the forum for a while now, but I had an interesting conversation, and I felt like the TMF was a good place to share it.

I am a 29-year old woman. I recently began dating a 21-year old guy and had brief flings with a 22-year and a 20-year old last year. My friends were joking that I have already reached cougar status.

My first thought was that I am too young to be a cougar. Then I was thinking, why do we even need to put a label on this? To me, it's mostly a coincidence, as my relationships in the past have all been with older guys. I guess my question is, have any other ladies dated guys significantly younger before they hit stereotypical cougar status? Was their any kind of social fallout or labeling involved? My experience has been mostly positive so far, but was wondering how others felt.

Just curios

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

You ARE too young to be a cougar. But that doesn't mean the label doesn't legitimately apply to older women. It's not a pejorative, simply a term of reference.

 

[giggleBrat]

Sadly, the majority of men I could date or love to 'lee for here would make me a cougar.

 

[Blue Soda]

Interesting thread. I am 33 and my boyfriend is 22, soon to be 23. We began dating when he was 18 and the whole age thing was a huge barrier at first, but it eventually got to the point where we never really thought about it.

DAJT makes a good point, it often isn't an insult and is often an endearing or empowering term. I will say, though I personally do not put much stock in labels. I don't mind if someone looks at me with a younger guy and says "wow, she's a cougar" but I just look at it as more of a thing where I happen to have a boyfriend who is a good deal younger than I am. His age is not what attracts me to him, it's his sensibility, his maturity beyond his years, and the bonds we have formed. He's more mature than many guys my age anyway.

For what it's worth, I guess I do tend to find younger looking guys to be really attractive. Even in my 20's when I dated older guys, I often found myself checking out high school and college aged guys. So I guess the cougar label could apply to me by many people's standards but I always just thought of it like, I'm attracted to all kinds of different people of both genders and all ages (18 and up) so putting myself into any kind of box or neatly defining my own sexuality never seemed important. I hope that makes sense

 

[Secretlee]

To me a cougar is whe you're with someone wayyyyy more than around 10 years younger, but that's just me. Even so, I agree with what Blue Soda said, that even if someone does label you a cougar that's not necessarily a bad thing at all. If you and your significant other are happy that's really what matters anyway, right?

 

[Morning Lorie]

I'm not crazy about the title but I sure have been called worse.

 

[chicago]

A young cougar is a puma. An old one is a snow leopard lol

 

[rdhd]

I recall a study, years ago, that said it was better for older women to date/marry/hook up with younger guys. Has to do with life spans of the sexes. Rather than an older guy hitching up with a young gal (mmmm, Hugh Hefner????), so she can reap the benefits later on (then she's a Gold digger). But hey, who really cares - if they like each other enough, so what? (e.g. Kathy Lee and the late Frank Gifford - 20 some yrs difference)

 

[chicago]

Meh, date who you want /like. My bf is 10 years older than me. Dudes younger than me got brains that are still developing.

 

[Bohemianne]

Dudes younger than me got brains that are still developing.

LOL!

 

[chicago]

LOL!

#biology

 

[Bohemianne]

#biology

also #fate...

 

[Alliekat]

Dudes younger than me got brains that are still developing.

So true. I have always found myself more physically attracted to the young pretty boy types but have always been so turned off by their lack of maturity I would never have dated anyone younger than me when I was in my 20's. I am in my 40's now and married to a man a few years older and am perfectly happy with that dynamic. Young guys make for good eye candy, so if that qualifies me as a cougar then fine.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

According to the Oxford dictionary.

Cougar

1. A large American wild cat with a plain tawny to grayish, found from Canada to Patagonia.

2. An older woman seeking sexual relationship with a younger man

I guess it doesn't matter how old you are but how old is the guy.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

being called a cougar isnt as bad as being called a dirty ol' man...

 

[Dussicar]

I'm tired of chicks always gettin' cool monikers for nuthin'! chicks get it so easy!

From now on, you shall refer to all 35-ongoing males as "Aging roosters that don't get shit."

Suck on it, you bitches!

 

[kopfhorer]

being called a cougar isnt as bad as being called a dirty ol' man...

Hear, hear. Why do men who fancy or who end up with younger women (of legal age, of course) get looked down on?

 

[chicago]

Hear, hear. Why do men who fancy or who end up with younger women (of legal age, of course) get looked down on?

Let's not start getting off topic for butthurts sake.

We could all go back and forth about what's not fair from any genders point of view.