dating someone not in the fetish

[tickleteasing]

How hard would it be for someone who is extremely in to tickling to date someone who is just not in the fetish at all and thinks its completely strange? How hard would it be for you?

 

[simulated]

How hard would it be for someone who is extremely in to tickling to date someone who is just not in the fetish at all and thinks its completely strange? How hard would it be for you?

I have never had someone I've dated be completely opposed to something which was important to me. I'd say if it's a problem for them, you're with the wrong person.

 

[TickleGoddess06]

My current boyfriend understands but does not like my fetish. It's not a problem for me. Why should it be? If I'm only going to date people based on if they like my fetish, I might as well not date at all.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I could (and have) date someone who doesn't like tickling, though I'd rather not.

I have never had someone I've dated be completely opposed to something which was important to me. I'd say if it's a problem for them, you're with the wrong person.

Agree.

 

[nylonsnfeet]

I would want 2 b with someone into tickling or at least open-minded enough to go with it. Been married twice. 1st wife was passive & tolerated it on the rare occaison she let me. 2nd classified as "weird".

 

[cloudgazer2k]

it's difficult, like denying a part of yourself. i've always tried to see if the girl i'm dating would allow me to indulge from time to time, and have had a decent bit of success "converting".

just, whatever you do, don't force it. if it happens, great! if not, then there is always another time.

 

[TeMpEsT949]

I don't think I could. Even though it's not necessarily a fetish for me, it's something I love and need a LOT of. To me it would be like being with someone who didn't like to cuddle or something. Yeah. It's that important, lol. Because it's not a fetish, most guys I've dated/talked to think it's just another one of my silly little quirks and they're cool with it. Now there are some guys who hate to be tickled, but I can deal with that since I'm mostly a lee anyway. As long as he would tickle me...hopefully often...I'd be content

 

[milagros317]

Years ago there were two different women who broke up with me over this, after months of intimacy in each case.

Essentially they each said they didn't like my interests (tickling and women's bare feet) and that I needed to become "normal" (whatever that is). I said that I wanted to enjoy my interests, not to change. They said, in that case, good-bye. It was amazing how the sequence was parallel in both cases, one in 1980, the other in 1987.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Years ago there were two different women who broke up with me over this, after months of intimacy in each case.

Essentially they each said they didn't like my interests (tickling and women's bare feet) and that I needed to become "normal" (whatever that is). I said that I wanted to enjoy my interests, not to change. They said, in that case, good-bye. It was amazing how the sequence was parallel in both cases, one in 1980, the other in 1987.

Weak dude.

 

[Redmage]

I think it would depend on the type of relationship you have with that person.

If you want a sexually monogamous relationship, and tickling is an essential part of your sexuality but your partner actively dislikes it, then that's a recipe for disaster.

If you want a monogamous relationship and your partner can at least participate, though he/she gets nothing out of it, then that might be workable but it'll take some real work from both of you.

If you want a polyamorous relationship and your partner is OK with you seeking that aspect of your sexuality with other partners, then that would also work, as long as everyone communicates their needs clearly.

If your partner is actively bothered by the fact that you enjoy tickling, no matter whom you do it with, then again I'd say "stay away."

 

[maniactickler]

If the girl wasnt extremely ticklish and into tickling, shes dead to me.

 

[JohnnyB]

I would think that if you can only be with a girl who is into you fetish, then you have issues. Find a person, not a vehicle for your sexuallity. Because your relationship doesn't stand a chance if you only want one thing from them. If they accept that you like tickling, then great. If they don't, you have to think about how much you like the person. You could end up throwing away your only chance with a wonderful person.

 

[RChello]

well dang it...it's our

DUTY as tickling enthusiasts to EDUCATE and INSTRUCT these 'vanilla' prospective dates in the ways of the dark side...wait that's star wars..I mean tickling activities...I don't give up that easy with ladies who don't take a shine to our favorite pasttime and btw it's fun trying!

 

[ticklishasgrl]

If a guy thought my tickle fetish was weird and wasnt into tickling but liked my other interests and etc I would still go out with him because I wouldnt just dump a guy because he isnt into tickling that is just silly, I have other interests that a guy could like, I mean the guy could be a great guy but he just finds tickling weird, no big deal, no way would I dump a guy just because of one of the many interests I have that he doesnt like. If it was the other way round, me not into tickling fetish and him into it, I would still go out with him even if I find his tickling fetish weird because I just wouldnt dump a guy who was into a tickling fetish or not, If a guy still loves me even though that I have a tickling fetish or not then there is no reason to ruin a relationship over a tickling fetish when there are other things about person you can like.

 

[SmarterthanU]

How hard would it be for someone who is extremely in to tickling to date someone who is just not in the fetish at all and thinks its completely strange? How hard would it be for you?

I agree with Redmage on this one, 100%. Unless you are one of those people who thinks it's possible to have a non-sexual tickling "fetish". Then it really doesn't matter. But for people who have a true sexual fetish for tickling, having a sexual relationship without it is, by definition, impossible.

 

[Bizkit]

For me the relationship would not work out.I need to connect with someone on that level to be truly happy.

 

[rexbrown]

my current gf is extremely ticklish on her feet and arm pits though shes not into the fetish of tickling
.. i havent full out admitted to her i have a fetish but i have given her massages and tied her up and tickled her a little bit on her feet and pits and so on as preparation but my relationship with her is not based on just that.. she makes me so happy and i couldnt imagine life without her.. ive known her as freinds for a few years before we dated and i know if i did admit it to her she would still love me.. i just need to grow some ballz and actually tell her that i want to tickle the living shit out of her even though she cant stand or even take more then 10 secs of tickling without crying

weird but it works for me

 

[LindyHopper]

How hard would it be for someone who is extremely in to tickling to date someone who is just not in the fetish at all and thinks its completely strange? How hard would it be for you?

There's a difference between "not into the fetish at all" and "thinks its completely strange." My husband is not a tickle fetishist, but he is open-minded and supportive. And that works just fine. But if he were to reject this thing that's central to my sexuality, then that wouldn't fly with me.

Anyway, to answer the original question, I think some of it depends on how effectively the tickle fetishist is able to "convert" his or her partner. People with solid communication skills, who are capable of presenting an interest in tickling in a non-scary way that sounds fun to the novice, have a much better chance of making it work.

I would think that if you can only be with a girl who is into you fetish, then you have issues. Find a person, not a vehicle for your sexuallity. Because your relationship doesn't stand a chance if you only want one thing from them.

It's not about wanting only tickling from someone. It's about wanting that, along with a host of other important qualities. For example, I couldn't be with someone who wasn't intelligent, funny, kind, understanding, open-minded, sexual, and communicative. If you're missing any one of those, that's a deal-breaker.

We all have deal-breakers. For some people, it's tickling. The best thing to do is be honest with yourself and your (potential) partner about what you can and cannot live without.

 

[maniactickler]

Bottom line to me, if you can still date a person thats not into tickling, then your not a true tickle fetishist.

 

[sttklr]

Bottom line to me, if you can still date a person thats not into tickling, then your not a true tickle fetishist.

Perhaps they aren't tickle fetishists. Just tickling enthusiasts. Nothing wrong with that. Also nothing wrong with being able to get your rocks off without necessarily tickling someone silly either.

I could easily date someone opposed to tickling. I might not like it at first, but I'd learn to get over it. Why only bother dating someone when you're looking for what you can get OUT of the relationship and not what you can BRING to the relationship? Besides, I have plenty of other fetishes (or "interests" if you prefer) that could keep me occupied. Hell, I'm not dating my roommate and she delights in torturing me by letting me play with her feet.

 

[Coda]

Whoever my girlfriend is, I think it's important that we're able to talk about anything, like best friends. Either of us should automatically be willing to listen and really be interested in understanding what specific sexual interests are like to the other person, even if they aren't afflicted with the same conditions.

 

[Tickler Bart]

In my own personal opinion, I feel that you should tell the person you are just starting to date what you are looking for in a relationship, including & especially your sexual desires.
If you are honest and up front with it, you can find out immediately if you can have a 'stable' relationship or not.
For those who 'can live without it' are only fooling themselves. Eventually you WILL seek out tickle partners outside of your relationship.
Unless tickling is not that important to you.
But like alot of us tickling (& for me bare soles) is a major sexual turn-on for us & we MUST have it as part of our 'activities'.
I am NOT saying that tickling is the ONLY criteria for a succuessful relationship, but, come on, people, it's a BIG part of it.
This is, of course, MY opinion. Everyone has their own thoughts & feelings towards finding that special someone.
I know I may seem 'superficial', but tickling (& bare soles) are important to me.

 

[Icycle]

There's a difference between "not into the fetish at all" and "thinks its completely strange." My husband is not a tickle fetishist, but he is open-minded and supportive. And that works just fine. But if he were to reject this thing that's central to my sexuality, then that wouldn't fly with me.

As Lindy says, I'm not at all tickle fetishist, but I am open minded. I don't get any pleasure specifically from tickling her, but I do enjoy tickling her none-the-less because I know how much she enjoys it. It would be harder if she were a ler and wanted to tie me down and tickle me however.

 

[Lea28]

It just seems natural, and fun foreplay

In my own personal opinion, I feel that you should tell the person you are just starting to date what you are looking for in a relationship, including & especially your sexual desires.
If you are honest and up front with it, you can find out immediately if you can have a 'stable' relationship or not.
For those who 'can live without it' are only fooling themselves. Eventually you WILL seek out tickle partners outside of your relationship.
Unless tickling is not that important to you.
But like alot of us tickling (& for me bare soles) is a major sexual turn-on for us & we MUST have it as part of our 'activities'.
I am NOT saying that tickling is the ONLY criteria for a succuessful relationship, but, come on, people, it's a BIG part of it.
This is, of course, MY opinion. Everyone has their own thoughts & feelings towards finding that special someone.
I know I may seem 'superficial', but tickling (& bare soles) are important to me.

Tickling just seems natural; its just "teasing" a person with our hands or whatever rather than words; i like words too though

And if you know a lover is aroused when you touch him or her in a certain spot, and you like them to be aroused / pleased, then why not?

It seems kinda simple to me... if touching a person in a special place, whether feet, neck, sides, butt, causes a sweet / fun reaction then thats what it is all about... I think?

Lea

 

[Krekan]

To each his own I guess. Honestly if they're really that opposed to each other interests, it would be best for them to break up, move on, and find someone else. Nothing good comes out of a relationship where both people can't respect the other person's interests.