Despising Someone So Much.. You Can't Even Say Their Name..

[2000 Man]

MITCH!!

 

[Babbles]

Big picture is --- trolls threw off another thread

Everyone ... except you!

And Who Wouldn't?

It's become so annoying, we've lost sight of the topic.
Because the topic always turns into Mitch vs. Dad, whom now, it seems, Mitch can't even utter "his" name.
Which isn't really the topic, but now it's been shifted to Mitch because it's all about Mitch and Mitch's ability to garner sympathy from the TMF as a whole, and make Mitch feel better about Mitch!
Which brings us back to what this whole thing is about, right?!

And you know all this in such a short time because.....

You can't even post under your own name,

because you're here to ball-bust just like Tequila, Banshee, and a few others
who only have negative intentions, whose posting history confirms this in addition to the unnecessary bashing they're doing here....

------and getting POSITIVE feedback is SUPPOSED to be the point of the General Discussion forum ---

---- Anyone should be able to post what they want ----- For CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK,
not backhanded "helpful" posts that are more insulting than insightful
or for outright troll fodder.

AGAIN --- YOU DON'T LIKE, YOU DON'T LOOK..... really simple.....

The topic is also rather straightforward, in case anyone would like to actually address it?

 

[LD_Tickler]

------and getting POSITIVE feedback is SUPPOSED to be the point of the General Discussion forum ---

---- Anyone should be able to post what they want ----- For CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK,
not backhanded "helpful" posts that are more insulting than insightful
or for outright troll fodder.

Positive feedback is the point? Since when? I thought it was to discuss. The first few responses, the on-topic ones, called the idea of refusing to say somebody's name childish, womanish, immature, etc etc. Whether or not you agree, those are the opinions of the posters and those are answers to the question that was asked. The personal attacks and off-topic remarks didn't occur until those honest, albeit dissenting replies were bashed.

Seems to me that by post #30 in this thread, Mitchell was the one making it personal and insulting those who were answering - calling all the replies but Backstep's unintelligent and garbage. Up until that point I see many honest replies, some totally harmless goofy jokes about Voldemort, and one insulting comment by Banshee that certainly doesn't account for most... so how calling all the replies "unintelligent" and "un-fucking-real" isn't actually the first GR violation in this thread is puzzling to me.

 

[Adam]

I've just caught up with this thread, read it from start to finish, and now I seriously need an aspirin.

In response to the original question, I have never been angry enough with someone to the point of not being able to utter their name. I find that, particularly as I've gotten older, it's a lot easier for me to adjust after someone has wronged me. The way I look at it, if someone is causing me significant distress, and compromise cannot be reached, it is best to cut said person out of my life if at all possible. And sure, when I've felt wronged, I have been angry and that feeling lingers for a bit. This is natural for anyone, but letting go is ultimately the best, healthiest option.

 

[Babbles]

Excuse my bold text highlighting --

Positive feedback is the point? Since when? I thought it was to discuss. The first few responses, the on-topic ones, called the idea of refusing to say somebody's name childish, womanish, immature, etc etc. Whether or not you agree, those are the opinions of the posters and those are answers to the question that was asked. The personal attacks and off-topic remarks didn't occur until people started discussing the validity of those responses.

Actually, even "positive feedback" can be that which disagrees ----

But I'll rephrase (repeat) in case I'm stretching the definition too far ---- CONSTRUCTIVE feedback.
That doesn't need to be insulting. Or sexist...

***ANY point can be made --- in a non-offensive manner.

I have written that, Mitch did also himself a few times ---- Of course the opinions are valid, whether differing greatly or in agreement -----

it's the manner in which they're expressed that makes them useful or derogatory.

There's supposed to be a "Golden Rule" in effect here, and there's little evidence of it in this thread
because rude people seeking negative attention saw the opportunity to derail a thread they should never have looked into.

Some of them pretended to write a "relevant" response that didn't just disagree, but totally bashed the OP --- again, not necessary, not productive.
They didn't need to sugar-coat it, just to be as respectful or polite as they'd be to any person standing in front of them...

Others just trolled for the fun of it --- and those replies at the very least should be erased. As they have been in other threads...

The "personal attacks and off-topic remarks" unfortunately started a bit sooner.

And if my honest opinion is offensive or embarrassing to the OP I'll send the person a PM phrasing it as constructively as possible.

 

[Babbles]

After so many pages of...

I've just caught up with this thread, read it from start to finish, and now I seriously need an aspirin.

In response to the original question, I have never been angry enough with someone to the point of not being able to utter their name. I find that, particularly as I've gotten older, it's a lot easier for me to adjust after someone has wronged me. The way I look at it, if someone is causing me significant distress, and compromise cannot be reached, it is best to cut said person out of my life if at all possible. And sure, when I've felt wronged, I have been angry and that feeling lingers for a bit. But letting go is ultimately the best option.

Ok, THIS is a constructive post ----- Disagreeing without mutilating the OP.
I have to say, you do rock, Adam.

 

[LD_Tickler]

***ANY point can be made --- in a non-offensive manner.
I have written that, Mitch did also himself a few times ---- Of course the opinions are valid, differing greatly or in agreement -----
it's the manner in which they're expressed that makes them useful or derogatory.

Well that's a bit problematic. Some people might find an opinion offensive no matter the manner used to present it. I, for example, find the idea of calling something "womanish" really offensive, but that was the poster's opinion so I'm not going to insist that he can't say it, especially seeing as how it was a direct answer to the question posed.

Some of them pretended to write a "relevant" response that didn't just disagree, but totally bashed the OP --- again, not necessary, not productive.
They didn't need to sugar-coat it, just to be as respectful or polite as they'd be to any person standing in front of them...

I don't agree. What I'm seeing on the first few pages are responses to the question being asked with no personal attacks anywhere (excluding one from Banshee, and the goofy jokes). You can say "yeah they appear that way because the insults are really hidden" but then you've walked straight into a whirling vortex of circular logic
.

If my honest opinion is offensive or embarrassing to the OP I'll send the person a PM phrasing it as constructively as possible.

Well that's up to you, but that's certainly not the rule. If I ask a public question, you're entitled to give me a public answer.

 

[rhiannon]

Okay...after reading this thread, Mitch, I'd like to ask you something. And this is, as I think I better have to emphasize, not meant as an attack, but genuine concern:

Are you seeing a psychologist about your issues with your father and the distress about your mother's disease?

 

[Babbles]

Well that's a bit problematic. Some people might find an opinion offensive no matter the manner used to present it. I, for example, find the idea of calling something "womanish" really offensive, but that was the poster's opinion so I'm not going to insist that he can't say it, especially seeing as how it was a direct answer to the question posed.

That is true ---- but see Adam's post above --- it perfectly illustrates
the balance between constructive honesty and disagreement.

I'm sure you've done the same ---

As for many of the others --- maybe b/c I'm female I especially don't take kindly to idiotic sexist remarks;
that "opinion" was just inflammatory ---- veiled trolling, really.

They're "on topic" but they're getting their sucker-punches in

I don't agree. What I'm seeing on the first few pages are responses to the question being asked with no personal attacks anywhere (excluding one from Banshee, and the goofy jokes). You can say "yeah they appear that way because the insults are really hidden" but then you've walked straight into a whirling vortex of circular logic
.

(See above).
Yes, it's roundabout --- some are well put, and well-meant, even if they disagree ---- but others are indirectly & unnecessarily offensive. Like a "back-handed compliment" or some such, I forget the phrase.... They could make their point without drawing blood

Well that's up to you, but that's certainly not the rule. If I ask a public question, you're entitled to give me a public answer.

That's true, but not a rude one ----- there's no reason for me to decapitate you because I disagree, esp. if you're not harming anyone ---- and if I find someone's threads not to my taste, I'll skip them altogether.

It makes no sense for these people to be complaining about threads they don't like ---- they have no business entering them in the first place, or posting if they can't... follow the Golden Rule....

 

[Mitchell]

rhiannon, to answer your question. No, I am currently not seeing a psychologist. Money is a concern with that. I was recommended to things like support groups, and social workers at the hospital my mom is going to be treated at, so I'll look into that.

As for "Therapy" as a whole. I'm mixed on it. In fact, an incompetent shrink in CT, had a hand in not only helping to end my family, but also, indirectly, my best friend's family as well.

My father was going for family and individual couneseling with us, and was diagnosed as being so mentally ill, he needed analysis. He refused to go, which had a part in ending our family. Then, the shrink that told him to go for analysis, who had helped fuck things up in the first place "Conviniently forgot" he told my father to go for analysis.

LD, I never said "All the replies" were unintelligent. Again, putting words in my mouth. The ""Unfuckingreal" was in exasperation, and not directed at anyone.

No, this thread is NOT to make Mitch feel better about Mitch. It was an ill advised attempt, to attempt to express frustration, and exasperation, and has turned into a circus. I was told "Dont post, and it will go away". Well.. six hours after I posted my last thing, it hasn't "Gone away", has it?

I was told by a mod that "Whining" is not an attack. That's his opinion. Banshee has been going after me, for a year, in every possible thread, ever since he found out I did the cardinal sin of living with my mother. However, the mods have made calls on his posts, that I, or many other people, do not agree with. It's their forum. I can't control that.

My mistake was posting this thread. Am I surprised it caused problems? No. Did I think it would turn into this kind of a circus? No.

Once again, a prediction, if I took a vacation, came back in several days, and didnt post another thing in this thread, it would still be here, almost certainly.

Mitch

 

[rhiannon]

rhiannon, to answer your question. No, I am currently not seeing a psychologist. Money is a concern with that. I was recommended to things like support groups, and social workers at the hospital my mom is going to be treated at, so I'll look into that.

As for "Therapy" as a whole. I'm mixed on it. In fact, an incompetent shrink in CT, had a hand in not only helping to end my family, but also, indirectly, my best friend's family as well.

I understand you have a bad feeling, and I know there are also therapists who don't know what they are doing. But - there are really good ones, and they can help you immensely. Some will just let you talk and help you find your own way of dealing with things.

Right now, I think it is pretty clear that you can't deal with the shit that's been happening to you yourself, and from all I've seen I'm pretty sure not a lot fo people could deal with it themselves.

Seriously, a therapist ist the right place to go with all this - not a public forum. You will only get yourself hurt more.

 

[Mitchell]

rhiannon, I know your intent is sincere, and I thank you. I completely agree with you that a public forum isnt the place to go with all this. As for a therapist, as I mentioned previously, I have money considerations. I have to look into it.

Mitch

 

[venray]

Speed, I wasn't home for ten hours, and several people replied, so what you're saying, to me, isn't valid.

Fine, tell ya what, after this, I'll make no post whatsoever. We'll see how long this thread goes on after that? My guess: A long while.

Mitch

And then you kept going..walk away and it will die...the thing is you cant...

you MUST address every comment....which is why the thread is still active...

stop posting like you said you were going to...dont respond to THIS post...make that your starting point...move on..if you can....i dont believe you have it in you..

 

[kis123]

And then you kept going..walk away and it will die...the thing is you cant...

stop posting like you said you were going to...dont respond to THIS post...make that your starting point...move on..if you can....i dont believe you have it in you..

After two days of this hott mess, I'm inclined to agree.

Mitch, you've allowed yourself to get backed into a corner here and although a small minority who've posted here are using this at your expense, most here are trying to reason with you. You are just too blind with emotion to see that most are trying to help you. Why would you care what those who you placed on ignore think? The purpose of the ignore button is to.......wait for it........IGNORE THEM! It works very well if used correctly, trust me.

Please stop with the defenses because the bottom line is that this was just another of your threads venting about your father. Do you think your father spends this much of his time and efforts about you? Let me help you with that answer.......NO HE DOESN'T! He's a sociopath and they don't consume themselves thinking about others; they are about themselves.

You don't want therapy? That's certainly your choice but I truly feel that you will never be able to move on and live a normal life until you deal with this. Remember I told you I had a similar clusterf*cked relationship with my so-called father and I almost let it consume me in the manner that you've allowed it to consume you. I had to learn that he was never going to change but if I didn't my life would be miserable. I'm no longer miserable; I'm nowhere near how I'd like to be, but he is not the center of my universe anymore and I no longer blame him for my issues.

Do you think this is helping your mother's situation at all? She is very ill; concentrate on how you can help her. That alone can take up all the time you spend hating your father and help you do something productive for a change.

At 40 years old, you are missing out on so much in life; in all the years I've been a member here I never heard you mention a relationship with a woman, no children, nothing that most men your age have to talk about. Don't get me wrong, marriage and children aren't everyone's goal in life but have you considered any personal goals for yourself other than taking care of your mother? When do you get to "do you?"

You are way too intertwined with your parents. As much as you hate your father, you struggle with wanting unconditional love and acceptance. I hate to be the wet blanket here, but he simply isn't capable of giving you what you want and you MUST move on with your own life before you look back one day and have little to nothing to show for it.

You don't need to respond to me; follow your advice that you repeatedly tell yourself and us on the forum and just stop posting and let the thread die. Find other topics to post about besides how much you hate your father; trust me, we all get it Mitch. Maybe taking a hiatus from the forum while you take care of your mom would be a good idea.

Everyone has to vent about something sometime; we're all human. However, if you were to be truly honest, you know you've taken this to levels unseen by most over the years.

I truly wish you better but you have to make some better choices and efforts in order to get better.

Peace and take care.

 

[Speedbump]

So anyway, let's move on.

Pumpkin season is upon us folks! I hope you all plan to carve a hell of a masterpiece this year!

I'm gonna dress up as a dinosaur.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I'm going to dress as a Tea Partier. I'm having Mrs. Knox make a sign that says, "Happy New Year, Morans!"

 

[Dave Pavet]

Isn't there a generic term for this...Wife.

 

[kis123]

Isn't there a generic term for this...Wife.

Or even more appropriate and far more generic.......HUSBAND!

 

[Fire_Sprite]

So anyway, let's move on.

Pumpkin season is upon us folks!

I hear that there's a new pumpkin pie pop-tart but I can't find it anywhere.

 

[Myriads]

Looks like this has been derailed.

We are done here.

Myriads