did tickling ruin anyone else's life?

[zerbert12]

Since I was a kid I had a fetish about raspberries being blown on my tummy and unfortunately my new wife hates when I blow them on her belly but what she doesn't understand is that it makes sex that much more exciting... after 2 years of marriage i finally convinced her to blow raspberries on my belly (but she's not that good at it- she doesnt take deep breaths - the most ticklish raspberries are deep breaths and dragged out) since she started blowing raspberries on my belly- sex way more erotic

 

[Cave In]

Used to be a major issue for me when I was younger, was unable to climax with a girl during sex. I realised that it was because I was used to getting my kicks from tickling clips/images online which was happening frequently.
I don't do it nearly as much any more and it has improved my sex life considerably. Tickling is still a massive turn on, especially since I often use it during foreplay but it doesn't rule my life like it used to.

 

[kcantankerous]

Used to be a major issue for me when I was younger, was unable to climax with a girl during sex. I realised that it was because I was used to getting my kicks from tickling clips/images online which was happening frequently.
I don't do it nearly as much any more and it has improved my sex life considerably. Tickling is still a massive turn on, especially since I often use it during foreplay but it doesn't rule my life like it used to.

one of the best avatar clips period lol

thanks,
k

 

[Cif]

I would suggest you perhaps haven't been with enough girls. A girlfriend once broke up with me because she wanted to have sex without being tickled but I was being naive, selfish and taking her for granted. She was the first person I ever told and indulged me so in hindsight I can almost understand my behaviour. However, I recently had a relationship which revolved entirely around amazing sex. The girl was just great in bed.

I think turning inside yourself and suggesting nothing else pleasures you is a pretty ignorant and childish thing to believe. Explore rather than whining about it on the Internet.

 

[-Hari-]

First off you need to accept your fetish as a part of you that isnt gonna go away, and thats good, embrace it. secondly you need to find your sex drive, surely you want sex in some way shape of form? with tickling included or something?

Your life isnt ruined, you just have a slightly more specific match up than some, work on your acceptance of yourself and your traits and then aim to be content about it, and then wait for your opportunities and see what you get. You will get yourself in a right pickle if you spend any amount of time trying to change your personality.

It might be that your best of just going for as many tickle sessions as you can until the novelty wears thin and you need sexual gratification to keep it interesting?

 

[rhiannon]

It might be that your best of just going for as many tickle sessions as you can until the novelty wears thin

You say this like you're talking about Bingo-night!

 

[Garfield1]

I was starting to have the same problem, but then, me and my girlfriend had a trip for a month and I couldn't access tickling sites, forum or clips. The first 2 weeks had been difficult, but then I wasn't thinking to tickling so much like when we started our trip and everythings went ok. I understood that those 2 weeks without tickling had been like a detoxification. I was just "feeding" too much my fetish, looking at tickling clips for hours. You have to control it, to use it for your pleasure, don't be slave of it.

I sometimes play role tickle games with my girlfriend, she is ticklish and do this for me, even if she has no tickle fetish. But the fact that i like it so much and the fact that it is funny in our games makes her accept it and even enjoy it.

If you get excited looking continuosly at beautiful models that you will see only in your dreams, getting tickled in ways no women will ever let you tickle her, maybe in restraint you'll never get in your home, then, normal sex would become annoying.

I'm not english, but wish I explained it.. someway

 

[-Hari-]

You say this like you're talking about Bingo-night!

There's various similarities so I may as well be

 

[rhiannon]

There's various similarities so I may as well be

There is? Why do I suddenly feel bored by the thought of a tickling session?

 

[ArchNemesis]

I'll admit things might be easier for me if I could look at an attractive woman, walking down the street or a waitress in a restaurant or whatever, and instead of thinking "I want to tickle her feet" think "I want to stick my penis in her vagina" the way non-fetish guys do. But I can't imagine that being as much fun as tickling her!

 

[scorpionldr]

i'll say this: if your having trouble, and your own area doesn't seem to be working out..........maybe you just have to get out. For example, a guy by the name of Winston Wu came up with this idea http://www.happierabroad.com/.

That or maybe just stop tickling? I've been on a long dry streak. And honestly? It kind of makes you appreciate the opportunity to meet people. Try this. Flirt, flirt, flirt, and talk to the girl, and then tickle, SLOWLY, till she decides to land you herself. From there on, feel free to work yourself into a frenzy over the tickling.

I met someone nice lately.

being a tickling fetishist, I would say unless you are of a man of stronger than average sexual persuasion, I'd say, YEA, you ARE going to have difficulties.
1, most mainstream women I've talked to couldn't give A FUCK about tickling, much less your turnons.
2. sex is going to be different. the girl I'm talking to lately is starting to realize I'm just not a tits/pussy oriented guy, and I'm happy with it. I'm sure that on one hand, she's happy that I'm not paying attention to it, but on the other she's probably looking for "a guy who knows what he's doing". so yea, tickling changes shit.
3, face it, if you meet a vanilla, you are going to probably have to work to persuade someone to give you a chance, and then not fuck it up by giving them a shitty experience.
If you can get by all these facts, then hey, maybe your just doing some typical worrying. but don't feel condemned because you have a tickling fetish. A little consideration verbally, mentally, and physically are all it takes to balance your needs with a potential mate's.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

yes sadly it has effect my life with relationships, to difficult and painful to discuss so i will just leave it at that

 

[sophiamarie]

"I want to stick my penis in her vagina"

Okay, so I know guys think about that action, but are those the exact words that go through their heads? This seriously made me giggle like a fourth grader at her first sex ed class.

 

[rhiannon]

but are those the exact words that go through their heads?

It's most likely more like the f-word that goes through their heads.

 

[Mattyyy]

I'll admit things might be easier for me if I could look at an attractive woman, walking down the street or a waitress in a restaurant or whatever, and instead of thinking "I want to tickle her feet" think "I want to stick my penis in her vagina" the way non-fetish guys do. But I can't imagine that being as much fun as tickling her!

Yeah pretty much this. There are times where its difficult to compromise or have a positive sexual experience when tickling (and in my case also a foot fetish) limits what can be done to excite both parties. But i believe in fate and finding 'the one' and thats what keeps me going

 

[Cif]

Okay, so I know guys think about that action, but are those the exact words that go through their heads? This seriously made me giggle like a fourth grader at her first sex ed class.

I love dirty talk but I was called up by my ex girlfriend once for calling her 'tits', 'boobs' and my 'cock' 'penis', during foreplay. It didn't go much further than that. It was subconscious.

I can say that unfortunately my mind does work like this at times.

 

[TickVix]

Counseling/therapy may help you discover why it is that you place tickling over sex and why you believe it's ruining your relationships. I mean it's not going to solve anything, but it may make you more aware of what could possibly be causing this. I know talking to a complete stranger about something as personal as tickling is probably not at the top of your to do list, but it's worth a shot especially if you feel that this is something that needs to be resolved in order to help you maintain a relationship. Much luck to you.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

I would say that your problem doesn't stem from tickling itself, necessarily, but rather more how you're treating the subject (tickling). I am, of course, only going off a very short paragraph describing what you consider to be your problems but I don't think I'm wrong.

First, you should accept that "normal" doesn't exist in any regard. I don't know what you consider normal -- I'm guessing just the act of sex -- but I'm very certain that most people do a little bit more.

You say you don't know how to please a girl simply because all you want to do is tickle her. When I read that -- and you'll have to forgive me because I have to assume a lot with that statement -- a lot of thoughts pop up in my head, mostly concerning communication/respect. I get that tickling is what you want/need, but are you respecting your significant others' wants/needs as well? Are you communicating about your wants/needs with her, as well as discussing her own? My impression is that you are not simply because you say you're not sure how to please them. To that I would say there isn't any shame in asking what you can do for your partner.

You'll also need to respect that tickling isn't necessarily for everybody. My personal suggestion, as far as relationships go, is easing your partner into tickling (not going full bondage/tickle the fuck out of her right at the start/every time, for example). I mean, tickling has so many... sides to it, so to speak. Light/playful, teasing, flirty tickles, tying someone up and tickling them way out of their mind, sensual tickles... probably a bunch more that I can't define right now, but whatever defining them isn't the point necessarily. Anyway if she isn't into tickling at all then don't worry about it. Ideally though she would have the same respect for you that I'm preaching and try to work with you and share/enjoy your needs/wants.

Sorry if I'm way wrong on how you're approaching the situation with your partners, by the way. And also sorry that I can't offer much more than I have. Really going off very little.

Therapy is an option if you want to discuss your problems in further detail and find solutions to the roots of the problems, but I'm not convinced that it's necessary at this point. Again, I'm also not convinced that tickling is the root of your issues but rather the face of them.

If all you really want out of a girl is to tickle her, though, then I'd recommend just dishing out for private sessions. If it's more as a supplement to a relationship... then yes you will need to work with your partner.

Man, I went and way assumed that you were a ler and not a lee, too. Geez. My bad.

This. All of this. And also what mabus said. Intimacy, real intimacy, the most rewarding kind, takes two.

 

[john.d.tickler]

1) The more "tickle porn" you watch the more it will desensitize you to your partner. I'm not saying you have to completely cut it out, you just don't watch it and get off to it everyday.

believe me, i know what you're dealing with..! assuming you actualy want to have sex, and not just because its a "requirement" in a relationship you should try this!

and one other thing, dont think you're weird or that what you feel is not right! people judge you all the time, but it's just people, what do we know..

 

[Crazy Wabbit]

or is it just me..this fetish hasnt allowed me to have a normal sex life and now im pushing 25 and dont know how to please a girl because all i want to do is tickle her..i dont even care about sex and its ruined all my relationships and seemingly tough to shake? anyone else have this problem, or maybe im just a little too infatuated with tickling? PLEASE HELP ME

First and foremost, let me say that I am not a licensed therapist or psychologist and in no way should this be substituted for professional advice.

With that said, there is a POSSIBLE way to get rid of your fetish permanently. Do a search on google for "aversion therapy" or "reparative therapy". Granted, it mainly applies to homosexuals, but the therapy can also apply to those who want to rid themselves of a particular paraphelia (fetish).

The reason why I know this is because I once sought it out, knew what was involved, but did so because I felt like I was some sort of "pervert" or "freak" and I wanted to be like the "average person in everyday society".

The therapist first asked me if my fetish caused me any distress. I said yes. They wanted me to explain it detail. My reasoning is different from yours, but when they heard that I was tired of being judged by others and wanted to be "like them", they pretty much told me that I needed to forget about it, resign myself to the fact that this is who I am, and that my issue was more about self esteem/self confidence than anything else, and that those other people who thought that way were obviously not meant for me to be around, nor should I try to prove them wrong or try to be accpeted by them.

If you are still reading, this is what aversion or reperative therapy involves. They put you into a room and adminster a drug to you that causes violent vomiting. They put in an x-rated video that is related to your fetish, where you watch it and soon become ill and puke your guts out.

But that's not all. Once you pass that phase, there is another one. The next one involves electric shocks.

They put a catheter up inside your penis that measures the blood flow and temperature. The more blood that circulates to your penis, the higher the temperature gets. The higher the temperature gets, the more aroused you get, which is how they can tell if you are being truthful with them when you give them the answers they are looking for.

They will ask you after a certain scene, from a 1 to 10 scale, 1 being no stimulus at all, with 10 being as turned out as you could possibly get, how turned on were you. The higher the number, the more volts you get. So if you tell them 10, they will crank it up all the way, and administer the maximum amount of electricity to your private area.

The idea is to condition you were you no longer see tickling as a turn on (positive stimulus). They are trying to attempt to get you to associate your fetish (tickling) with pain (a negative stimulus).

And even if you were approved for such treatment, there is NO 100% GUARANTEE that you will be "cured". Some people end up in worse shape before they went in (i.e. traumatized from the experience, an even lower self esteem/self confidence than before they entered treatment, mainly because they blame themselves, thinking they failed somewhere because the treatment didn't work for them, they wind up confused as to how they should really feel inside, and so on).

Personally, I do not recommend it. I think you need to resign yourself to the fact that this is who you are, accept that fact, embrace it, and realize that somewhere in this world, there is some lady out there who shares the same thing as you do, and would love to be with you.

 

[rhiannon]

Dude...seriously....aversion therapy!? Electro shocks!? You gotta be kidding!! Great way of actually REALLY psychologically damaging someone!

 

[Crazy Wabbit]

Dude...seriously....aversion therapy!? Electro shocks!? You gotta be kidding!! Great way of actually REALLY psychologically damaging someone!

I am not saying I recommend that he goes out and does this. I even said in my earlier post, I don't recommend it. I only posted it because I was hoping he would read it and realize that it wouldn't be worth it.

Besides, most therapists are against aversion/reparative therapy. However, there are some who still believe in it and practice it to this very day. Psychologically damaging? Absolutely. Some people have even died from attempting this type of therapy. I read about one doctor who tried to use it to cure an alcoholic. When he was administered the "vomiting drugs", he decided he didn't want to drink the alcohol because he knew what was coming next. 3 medical assistants restrained the guy while the doctor force fed him the alcohol. He died from asphyxia from his own vomit.

All of this is a moot point anyways. Even if the guy would consider it an option, 9 chances out of 10 the therapist would tell him that it wouldn't be necessary to pursue and that he needs to just accept that part of himself and what he's into is not going to be everybody's forte.

 

[rhiannon]

Besides, most therapists are against aversion/reparative therapy

More than that! It is even illegal in some places!

 

[Crazy Wabbit]

More than that! It is even illegal in some places!

I didn't know that. But that is a good thing!

 

[stonesundial]

This sounds familiar. I'm a 27-year-old straight female. The only sexual thing I liked for a long time was being tickled, but none of my boyfriends got it, even when I worked up the courage to tell them. I wasn't getting my needs satisfied and I eventually accepted that sex would just not be a major part of my relationships. I thought I must have a really low libido if I didn't like what my boyfriends were doing. That was about a year ago. Since then, I met a man who was really into the kink scene and that made a big difference in how I see myself and sex in general. He will not only tickle me, but has opened my eyes to a wider range of fetishes (starting with bondage, yay). Perhaps most importantly, we strive for honest and open communication so we can both get our sexual needs met and know that other person is happy, too. You may want to seek a local community of people into kink (start with the internet). Maybe try okcupid and look for sub women. Just for starters. My point is that you are not alone, and I would say don't give up. There are partners out there who want what you have to give, believe me.