Okay. So today, I had a Rock Band party in honor of Independence Day. Wahoo! People came and went all day, there was rock, and it was good.
However!
In order to clean my rather not-spacious apartment on short notice, I generally have to gather up all the loose stuff, or the stuff I don't want people to see, and toss it in my bedroom. Close the door, and voila! Clean apartment. (Yes, I'm a bachelor. Why do you ask?)
Anyway. One thing that generally needs to go bye-bye is my Paradise Vision DVDs. I have, like, ten of them, and generally keep then in my DVD rack.
At one point, we were down to three folks; me and two awesome Asian gals. One of whom I used to date, and the other whom I'd rather like to - and just haven't had the chance to ask yet. The Former-Girlfriend decided that, rather than play Rock Band, that she wanted to lose herself in Theme Hospital, an old Bullfrog game I have that she apparently used to love, but can't run anymore because it's not compatible with Vista. Poor kid. Anyhow, I know she's not the type to care about (or poke through) my clutter, so I let her disappear into the bedroom.
No sooner did I say "by the way, the bedroom is a mess, that's why the door is closed" than the Hopefully-Soon-To-Be-Girlfriend slipped in after the Former-Girlfriend. Hopefully-Soon then immediately starts poking through my clutter. I quickly gave her the nickel tour ("here's the TV, here's the bed, here's the pile of console games, here's the closet...") and was about to usher her back into the living room when the phone rang, signalling more guests to arrive soon. I had to excuse myself to answer it - and upon my return, Hopefully-Soon is sitting on my bed... rifling through my videos.
The following conversation took place.
She: "What's 'Pit of Torture'?"
Me: It's a video. C'mon, we're in the middle of a game."
She: "Is it a horror movie?"
Me: (Displaying an incredible amount of stupidity by not simply agreeing with her) Not quite. It's something you really shouldn't looking at. C'mon back out here."
She: "So what it is, then?"
Me: "Nothing interesting. Put it down and come back out here."
She: (coming back into the living room) "It's not a horror movie? What is it? Can we watch it?"
Me: (At this point completely forgetting all common sense) "Er, no. It's porn."
She: (lights up like a christmas tree) You're KIDDING. Really?!
Me: "Really. So, it's your turn to pick a song..."
She: (taking up her seat at the drum set, we play a few songs but she keeps cracking up at random moments. Finally, she turns to me and asks...) "So, what's it about?"
Me: (figuring if I just tell her we'll be done with this) The 'premise' is that this girl gets arrested in a third-world country.
She: ...and tortured.
Me: Pretty much.
She: (At this point she laughs out loud again.) I had *no* idea you were into *that*! You have some *really* crazy fetishes!
Me: (suddenly realizing what I just implied) What? Ack! No!
She: (still laughing) What, then?
Me: (sighs) okay, okay. (long pause.) They're foot fetish videos.
She: (laughter ad infinitum) Oh my god! You're not serious!
***
It continued on like that for a while. Eventually, I managed to get her to comprehend the concept of a tickling fetish, and that it, and foot fetishism are actually a lot more common (in terms of fetishes) than she had imagined.
The good news is, she's actually quite open-minded and extremely curious about, well, everything. I don't know if it's to the extent that she'd actually want to *try* any of it, but no matter how much I told her she was dying to know more.
Unfortunately, I didn't actually get to tell her all that much, as more people arrived. Still she kept on cracking veiled jokes about it for the rest of the night.
I just dropped her a line, suggesting that we get together to talk about it further, in order to fully satisfy her curiosity.
So, in hindsight, and in closing;
1) I wasn't even really all that embarassed that she found out. If I had been, that could have made it a lot worse, I think.
2) She wanted to know more. I have the opportunity to really present this in a fun light to her. And, since I'd like to date her, who knows what avenues it might open up.
3) It's damn funny. Does anyone else have any similar 'horror' stories to share?
However!
In order to clean my rather not-spacious apartment on short notice, I generally have to gather up all the loose stuff, or the stuff I don't want people to see, and toss it in my bedroom. Close the door, and voila! Clean apartment. (Yes, I'm a bachelor. Why do you ask?)
Anyway. One thing that generally needs to go bye-bye is my Paradise Vision DVDs. I have, like, ten of them, and generally keep then in my DVD rack.
At one point, we were down to three folks; me and two awesome Asian gals. One of whom I used to date, and the other whom I'd rather like to - and just haven't had the chance to ask yet. The Former-Girlfriend decided that, rather than play Rock Band, that she wanted to lose herself in Theme Hospital, an old Bullfrog game I have that she apparently used to love, but can't run anymore because it's not compatible with Vista. Poor kid. Anyhow, I know she's not the type to care about (or poke through) my clutter, so I let her disappear into the bedroom.
No sooner did I say "by the way, the bedroom is a mess, that's why the door is closed" than the Hopefully-Soon-To-Be-Girlfriend slipped in after the Former-Girlfriend. Hopefully-Soon then immediately starts poking through my clutter. I quickly gave her the nickel tour ("here's the TV, here's the bed, here's the pile of console games, here's the closet...") and was about to usher her back into the living room when the phone rang, signalling more guests to arrive soon. I had to excuse myself to answer it - and upon my return, Hopefully-Soon is sitting on my bed... rifling through my videos.
The following conversation took place.
She: "What's 'Pit of Torture'?"
Me: It's a video. C'mon, we're in the middle of a game."
She: "Is it a horror movie?"
Me: (Displaying an incredible amount of stupidity by not simply agreeing with her) Not quite. It's something you really shouldn't looking at. C'mon back out here."
She: "So what it is, then?"
Me: "Nothing interesting. Put it down and come back out here."
She: (coming back into the living room) "It's not a horror movie? What is it? Can we watch it?"
Me: (At this point completely forgetting all common sense) "Er, no. It's porn."
She: (lights up like a christmas tree) You're KIDDING. Really?!
Me: "Really. So, it's your turn to pick a song..."
She: (taking up her seat at the drum set, we play a few songs but she keeps cracking up at random moments. Finally, she turns to me and asks...) "So, what's it about?"
Me: (figuring if I just tell her we'll be done with this) The 'premise' is that this girl gets arrested in a third-world country.
She: ...and tortured.
Me: Pretty much.
She: (At this point she laughs out loud again.) I had *no* idea you were into *that*! You have some *really* crazy fetishes!
Me: (suddenly realizing what I just implied) What? Ack! No!
She: (still laughing) What, then?
Me: (sighs) okay, okay. (long pause.) They're foot fetish videos.
She: (laughter ad infinitum) Oh my god! You're not serious!
***
It continued on like that for a while. Eventually, I managed to get her to comprehend the concept of a tickling fetish, and that it, and foot fetishism are actually a lot more common (in terms of fetishes) than she had imagined.
The good news is, she's actually quite open-minded and extremely curious about, well, everything. I don't know if it's to the extent that she'd actually want to *try* any of it, but no matter how much I told her she was dying to know more.
Unfortunately, I didn't actually get to tell her all that much, as more people arrived. Still she kept on cracking veiled jokes about it for the rest of the night.
I just dropped her a line, suggesting that we get together to talk about it further, in order to fully satisfy her curiosity.
So, in hindsight, and in closing;
1) I wasn't even really all that embarassed that she found out. If I had been, that could have made it a lot worse, I think.
2) She wanted to know more. I have the opportunity to really present this in a fun light to her. And, since I'd like to date her, who knows what avenues it might open up.
3) It's damn funny. Does anyone else have any similar 'horror' stories to share?
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Mostly they seem okay with it, at least nobody gives me a hard time about it. They tease me more about my foot fondness, but nothing mean spirited.
