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Got tied up for the 1st time ever and tortured/humiliated.

Best Medicine

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Joined
Mar 13, 2015
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Hello all. I've been around these forums since around 2004 or 2005. Had an account for years but rarely ever posted/contributed on here. Created a new account last year. But this past week I just had the most odd tickle bondage experience and mind games, and don't know whats the normal response to what happened. This might be kinda long for some, but for those who do please give me your honest thoughts if you have any. Thank you.

My girlfriends of 3 and a half years has known about my tickle fetish for almost 2 years. She has been so cool and nice about it, even though she doesn't share it. She has been open that she has a bondage fetish. She always trying to tie me up, but I always refused and didn't want to be vulnerable. At 29 years old I've never been tied up. But she recently made a deal that if for one time only she got to play a dominatrix and tie me up and do whatever, that she would be open to letting me tie her up and tickle her. I accepted.

Now this past weekend we after weeks of stalling I finally let her play out her dominatrix bondage thing. I automatically think she gonna do some cliché tv bondage stuff like leopard handcuffs and whips etc, and she would be finished in like a hour. Nope wrong She tied me up to a office chair with heavy rope in the middle of the living room in my underwear, and I had no idea how ridiculously long it was gonna last.

First thing she does is turn on the tv. Past couple of weeks she knows one of my new favorite shows is Penny Dreadful, and I been binge watching on demand, and Im like a couple episodes into only the 2nd season, she smiled and went straight to the most recent episode in the new season, and plays it, teasing me that I cant do anything about it. She forces me to look at all the spoilers that I missed, and this goes on for like 15 minutes of watching a episode.

Then out of nowhere she sneaks behind me while Im still tied up forced to watch tv, and stares directly into my face and starts tickling my armpit with one finger. Im extremely ticklish upperbody, and Im not a loud laugher, but I thrust and make goofy faces. She said that her goal was to make me tap out to my own fetish, and admit Im weak. Im not a submissive person at all, and didn't want to tap out of spite. She would tickle my sides and armpit with one finger, and this went on for I presume around 15 or 20 minutes.

She leaves the room for like 10 minutes comes back and starts tickling my ribs again. Keep in mind shes still right in my face doing this. She then teases me about my underwear. I wear purple mens nylon briefs, because that undwear is comfortable to me, and my girl is saying they just silk panties with mens label. She kept tickling me off and on. She asked me to tap out constantly to her tickling. I shook my head, and annoyed that I had pride and didn't want to submit, and she said okay, and proceeds to walk out the house smiling.

The woman left me tied up for about 45 minutes alone!! I was nerve wrecked, didn't know what was going on, or if she was legit mad and left, and being helpless and tied up, I was completely embarrassed by the time she came back. She came back with nothing in her hand, patted me on the head, gave me a few more tickles, and said I could tap out or she was was gonna keep on tickling me and just leave me tied up even alone even longer. At this point Im exhausted and embarrassed, and I reluctantly said I tap out just to get it over with, and declared her the winner. She said to physically tap out, not verbal. Keep in mind my hands are tied behind my back, so the only thing I could do was tap my butt with the back side of my hand. That wasn't enough, as she accused me of not tapping out, but instead waving my own farts, and started laughing, and called me disgusting. She went and sprayed air freshner around my booty Yes you heard that right.

After that I just dropped my head down. She hugged me from behind, and she finally started to untie me, which felt like it took forever. Its been a couple days and I still feel weak and vulnerable. I've barely talked to her, and basically been ignoring her since then. It was fun at first, but it went on way too long, It was like she was playing mind games with me with all that weird stuff, teasing, and feel embarrassed for tapping out, and letting her get the best of me. Are these normal feelings from the first time of being tied up? Or I don't know if my girl is slightly crazy or what.
 
Maybe it's different for someone who's into just bondage? I think there were some serious missed cues and leaving you alone for 45 minutes was just stupid and careless.
 
I agree leaving you alone in the house was an unsafe thing, but in all seriousness, you helped drag it out so long by refusing to tap out for so long. Don't blame that on her.
 
You guys didn't discuss any of her plans beforehand? If you gave her carte blanche, she took full advantage. Maybe she figured it was her one shot so she pulled out all the stops.

At least now, she's due for a tickling and you can even the score.
 
NONE of this to me sounds like a true session. I mean... tv show spoilers...?? That's extremely rude and uncaring considering you are a fan.

No safe words were talked about...? Right? That's awful. Safe words should always be used in session. So... her want to tie someone up had nothing to do with legit BDSM scenarios. She just wanted to humiliate you.

You weren't comfortable in the first place... and she went out of her way to make you MORE uncomfortable.

Leaving someone alone... is so unsafe.. (Unless the Dominant knows what they are doing... things are talked about usually before hand on hard limits etc. Some boundaries get pushed. But... she obviously didn't know what she was doing. And like anyone else on Halloween who dresses up- she was pretending without knowing any of the realities. Risking YOUR safety- while she had a good time.) That was not only careless... but... quite frankly I would NEVER play with her again. I want to break up with her right now and I'm not in a relationship with her.

I would lay down the law with her about how and why what she did was wrong. And unless she expresses extreme remorse. I'd want to see real tears coming from her... I'd seriously consider breaking up with her.
 
And you can tell her...if she TRULY has BDSM fantasies- she had better start doing her research if she actually wants to hang on to you. (and do the research with her. Who knows what crap she'd come up with on her own.) There aren't a lot of second chances to be had when you treat people like this. So if you give her a second chance... make sure she deserves that one second chance to do it RIGHT next time.
 
NONE of this to me sounds like a true session. I mean... tv show spoilers...?? That's extremely rude and uncaring considering you are a fan.

No safe words were talked about...? Right? That's awful. Safe words should always be used in session. So... her want to tie someone up had nothing to do with legit BDSM scenarios. She just wanted to humiliate you.

You weren't comfortable in the first place... and she went out of her way to make you MORE uncomfortable.

Leaving someone alone... is so unsafe.. (Unless the Dominant knows what they are doing... things are talked about usually before hand on hard limits etc. Some boundaries get pushed. But... she obviously didn't know what she was doing. And like anyone else on Halloween who dresses up- she was pretending without knowing any of the realities. Risking YOUR safety- while she had a good time.) That was not only careless... but... quite frankly I would NEVER play with her again. I want to break up with her right now and I'm not in a relationship with her.

I would lay down the law with her about how and why what she did was wrong. And unless she expresses extreme remorse. I'd want to see real tears coming from her... I'd seriously consider breaking up with her.

I agree with Dolly. But don't do anything rash until AFTER you give her a good tickling!
 
By the time you're done talking she had better be asking for forgiveness. If she isn't... and laughing you off... it's time to move on. She doesn't deserve ANYTHING but to be LEFT unless she understands...truly understands.. what she did was wrong. I wouldn't be wasting MY time giving someone what I consider so special. As far I'm concerned tickling is a gift. Not just anyone gets that from me for sure. And surely not someone who would treat me like that. Fuck revenge... I wouldn't waste my time.

Especially after you gave her the gift of YOUR submission. Which is a special gift as well.
 
I would also like to point out an aspect that could have gone VERY wrong. By leaving you alone...what if the ropes had cut of your circulation completely by being too tight? People have lost limbs over things like that happening. I cannot tell you the time frame it would have taken.... I have not topped someone in a very long time. I never used ropes for this reason. I keep my restraints fairly loose. Still... every person is different andis every restraint. But I know as a submissive I have had my circulation cut off- and my Master was right there to untie me and fix the problem. A repositioning... what have you. My Master has also left me alone for a couple hours... just sitting in the next room... with me untied... and I couldn't handle it. I cried. This was also part of a TPE weekend... (total power exchange- not for beginners) And he STILL kept in contact with me from around the corner of the room.

Someone could have broken in while you were tied up- killed you AND her. While she's off thinking of she's the Queen. This obviously is the worst case scenario... but... the fact remains that bad things happen that are sometimes beyond our control. Family, friends show unannounced- someone gets sick, an electrical fire. The submissive's safety is the FIRST PRIORITY. And it's crucial for both parties to be safe. And hundreds of things could go wrong. And while this woman may be too young to understand what she did was wrong- she's needs to be told- so this never happens again with this person or anyone else.
 
It sounds like the big fail here was not talking about what would happen and boundaries or limits. Like you I'm not a sub. But I do enjoy being a lee. What I don't like is humiliation or degradation. I personally couldn't be in a relationship where that was in play (either way). I'm not talking about teasing or even making somebody submit. From your description it sounded like disrespect. I can't say that I'd expect a relationship where people don't respect each other to be successful going forward.
 
Please write a Revenge post. I hope you are as brutal to her as she was to you.
 
I just wanna say that it really doesn't matter what's "normal". Your boundaries are your own, and if you didn't enjoy it, no one can tell you you're wrong.
 
Your encounter has revealed 2 aspects worthy of study:

1. How little both of you know about the physical & psychological perils of play sessions.
The many pieces of advice, described herein, should be taken to heart since both of you will, no doubt, be playing again, with someone.
(Your girl has obvious dom tendencies that she'll be exploring, sooner or later).
If blame needs to be assigned for a session gone wrong it's on you, as the more experienced player, for not setting up ground rules in advance.

2. This session has been an invaluable opportunity for you to learn something about yourself. What a gift you've been given!
How many people get an opportunity to examine their feelings in such a forceful manner. You put yourself into that situation, & stubbornly held out, in order to have your defenses tested. Don't waste this opportunity on misdirected anger & blame. Get back on the horse & examine why you feel as you do.
And consider yourself fortunate to have found a partner willing to help you out. Many people never get that opportunity.
 
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