Hello and a question

[susiesunshine]

Hi everyone!

I am a new member here and this is my first post...

I’m sure people have asked this before.. so, sorry.... BUT I have a question...

I was wondering if anyone had advice as to when it is best to bring up tickling in a relationship. I am recently single but in my last relationship I never brought up how much I loved to be tickled at any point. (I guess I was a little embarrassed)
My boyfriend did tickle me pretty often, but in a way that wasn’t really super effective ( he usually got to rough for it to tickle much. It got painful! haha) . However, I wish I didn’t chicken out and had piped up. I would have liked to have told him how much I enjoyed it and helped him tickle more successfully.

I would like to do it differently next time. Do those of you in relationships have any advice about how to begin to be open about tickling? Or even if you aren’t in one and have some advice, I would certainly appreciate it.


Anyway

thanks a lot!

-Suz

 

[nylonsnfeet]

Hello & Welcome to TMF. Have fun crusin' the "forums" & meeting the many cool people here.
Re: your question: Accept it within yourself. It's part of who you are, & something you enjoy. A GOOD thing.
Perhaps, after a few playful tickling situations, you may tell him you enjoy it when he tickles you. (avoid the word "fetish")
Hopefully the tickling will continue, but by all means tell him when it's too hard or rough. No fun if it hurts, for sure. Being a ler myself, I appreciate my lee letting me know such things. Good wishes & lots of tickles

 

[nylonsnfeet]

Hey, again. Don't let getting "shot down" get you. Been turned down a few times myself, & definitely not the end of the world.

 

[tickleshotel]

Susiesunshine , I think just pick a quiet time to have a one on one conversation where there won;t be distractions and let him know how much it means to you and if he really likes ,cares for you and wants to pursue the relationship further , he will accept the tickling love of yours because it is a part of you .If he doesn;t, he probably might be the type to want to try to change you and you seem really intelligent ,cute with a good head on your shoulder .

 

[ticklishlucy]

hey Susie,

I haven't posted much on the forum (in fact i haven't been on in a while), but I've found that making friends here and talking about tickling them has made me more comfortable with it in general. Not that i go shouting about it from the rooftops...haha, but you know....


anyway,

Good luck!
-Lucy

 

[susiesunshine]

Thanks guys!
How nice

Great advice, glad i asked! and glad to be here!

 

[Mitchell]

Hi susie,

I'm Mitch. Welcome to the forum.

In regard to your question: My best advice would be to discuss tickling with a partner, when you begin to feel comfortable with the person intimately, and really feel like you can discuss most anything with them. (I'm not specifically talking about waiting to bring up tickling until you have sex, but, more so when there has been some sembalance of physical intimacy, such as more than just casual kissing.) That would seem like the right time to bring up what activities you enjoy physically. I'm into female feet as well as tickling, and the beginning of physical intimacy, is when I usually bring up about my "Interests" of tickling, and feet, as I like to call them.

Hope that helps. Enjoy the forum.

Mitch

 

[Em Es]

With me, straight talk would be best

Welcome, Susie. I can't speak for other men, but were I your tickler I would want you to simply tell me "lighter," "harder," "not there," "more there," and so on.

I think it's easier for a woman to tell a man tickling turns her on, as opposed to a man telling a woman he likes tickling. The dating world is a woman's oyster.

When we were dating my wife and I had an okay tickling life but, starting on our wedding night, she just got mad when I tickled her. These days I have a female tickle buddy I met through this great web site. My lady friend and I don't have sex, mind you; I just tickle her like crazy.

But when it's the woman who wants something kinky from her man, all she has to do is ask.

Please let us know how it goes, Susie. Good luck.

 

[Excess]

Hiya Susie. Like someone else has said, you first need to accept it in yourself, otherwise you'll always have trouble with it. As for the guy thing, depends on the guy. Some guys might be a bit put off, but most would be more likely not to care much if they really like you. Guys generally care less about that kinda thing as opposed to females, plus it's a bit easier to hear that someone's into being tickled as opposed to tickling it seems. So just find a nice guy, get to know him for a bit, and when the time is right, just tell him casually. From what I've seen, people are more likely to think of something in a bad way if they think you do. Just treat it as another aspect of something you enjoy, and if he can't handle that, then maybe he isn't for you. This of course is pending on how important it might be to you.

 

[TKForce]

Welcome susiesunshine, the people here are so warm and friendly I know
your just going to love it here 'almost' as much as I do.
(I just don't think it's possible to love this place as much or more than I do )

I think tickling sould be mention in the relationship when you start talking
about sex (talking about not having) and just list it as a turn-on casually.

 

[Coda]

Hey, Susie. Welcome.

Have you ever noticed that people who just thinking of tickling as normal and playful, have this talent for not being burdened by effortlessly bringing up the subject on your first walk around the park?

If it's not easy for you to bring up, then base your decision to tell them on the amount of your trust they've earned. A good boy<I>friend</I> should be, first and foremost, a good friend, and the better any friend is, the more you should feel safe talking about anything.

 

[Babbles]

All really great advice, pardon me if I'm repeating anything already said.

I've regretted not speaking up in past also, and taking cues, so I empathize with your plight though I'm much older --

I'm sorry your boyfriend was so rough about it, but if anyone you become involved with (to the extent that they're at least comfortable tickling you)
should do that again, that might be the time to tell him,

OUCH -That's wonderful, I really wouldn't mind (or would love that) if you could do that gently, I'd like that, etc...

A friend also told me to maybe initiate a small-scale tickle-fight, a playful poke here or there once you've gone out with someone at least 2-3 times, when it seems appropriate,

and very often the guy will "retaliate."

Wish you the best of luck.

 

[Headsnap]

Hi Dave, I'm Alf. Welcome to the forums.

In my opinion the best time to bring up tickling in a relationship is during some form of social occasion which you are attending as a couple. It could be a family member's wedding, a poetry reading, or perhaps a Waste Containment Solutions Expo, depending on your tastes. Whatever, that's not important. What you're looking for is a public forum where there are a lot of people standing (or sitting, again not important) in quiet contemplation of what is being said/ presented to them. As the mood of calm concentration begins to settle over the proceedings, what you want to do is stand up, turn to your paramore and shout as loudly as you can, "TICKLE ME BIG BOY I LOVE IT LOTS!". Then sit down again. Or run towards the nearest exit. If he follows you, you've cracked it! If not it may be time to consider gigolos.

Anyway, nice to have you on the forum. Hope all goes well for you, and have fun here!

 

[susiesunshine]

thanks everyone for the welcome! and the advice.....
ESPECIALLY Headsnap! I don't know why I didn't think of that before! I feel so dumb.... all this time the answer was right in front of my nose! But believe me, the next opportunity I have to implement your plan... I'm totally doing it.


But seriously... i guess the consensus is that it is all common sense and the bottom line is just treat it like any other sensual activity..... duh, why didn't i realize this...


Thanks again, all!

-susie

 

[alchemy]

Welcome to the TMF!!

So yeah...I guess everyone else has already said pretty much what I was going to say in regards to the tickling thing. So...good luck with that!

 

[Headsnap]

thanks everyone for the welcome! and the advice.....
ESPECIALLY Headsnap! I don't know why I didn't think of that before! I feel so dumb.... all this time the answer was right in front of my nose! But believe me, the next opportunity I have to implement your plan... I'm totally doing it.

If you actually do that I'll buy you a house.

 

[P[a]pi]

Just don't use the word fetish. Just tell him that you like to be tickled and show him how you like to be tickled. The guy will probably be a vanilla guy, so be patient with him. If it turns you on tell him that too.

Any normal guy that is attracted to you is gonna want to touch you and when you give him a way to do that he should be happy as hell. And if he knows that it turns you on then he should be super happy as hell haha.

 

[paracarl44]

Welcome to TMF.

My advice to the new people:
The secret to tickling is to make the person who is being tickled enjoy it.

 

[sole seeker]

You know what the big problem is with telling someone you're turned on by tickling is? It's the part where you say, "turned on."

Seems to me if you're sitting on the couch together and you swing your feet up into his lap and say, "Would you rub my feet? If you do it gently, it relaxes me." He'd jump at the chance.

While he's doing it, he's going to ask how you like it. At that point say something like, "Good, but use your fingers more. I love it when it tickles a little."

After he tickles you awhile, jump his bones. He's gonna get the idea.

If all this is too involved for you... just dump your feet in his lap and say, "Tickle me, stud muffin!" He'll do it, I guarantee. Like has been said elsewhere, to turn a guy on all you have to do is show up.

By the way, welcome to the forum. Togas are optional on Tuesdays.

 

[AffectionateDan]

But seriously... i guess the consensus is that it is all common sense and the bottom line is just treat it like any other sensual activity..... duh, why didn't i realize this...

Hey, don't beat yourself up too much over this. It's incredibly hard sometimes, to share something this intimate about yourself, even with someone you're in a relationship with. This is a VERY personal part of who you are, and the fear of being rejected or thought of as a freak and/or pervert by someone you care about is a terrible burden to overcome.

This is something I could never share with my ex-wife, even after she "discovered" my deep, dark secret. 13 years of marriage, and it was always "the thing we don't talk about". Mind you, this was back in the days when I still had no idea that I wasn't the only one of us out here. As far as I knew, I *WAS* a freaky pervert, and I had no one to share it with. To try and share this with someone who doesn't "get it" is scary to say the least. That's why (and please don't mistake this as a recommendation), if I were to be single and looking again, there's very little chance that I'd even look outside the community for someone to enter a relationship with. There are just too many cool people here who already share this, and so many other common interests, points of view, and values. Discovering that I wasn't alone in all this was one of the greatest joys of my life, and it's led to a bazillion metric tons of happiness, a lifetime's worth of friends around the world, and experiences that I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world.

And welcome to the family, kiddo!

 

[Lea28]

Show him...

Next time you have the opportunity, in or out of bed, tickle him sensuously until you find his "spots" .... as you watch him react, he hopefully will, he will reciprocate unless you two have kinda weak chemistry.

I can't tell you how many times I have taken the lead by tickling a guy, and helping him to realize what i love too. Example... slide down his leg and lightly scratch his soles, placing your foot near his face... if he does not suck your toes or tickle your feet as you tease him then, well, maybe consider another guy? I mean, you really are giving him alot of hints...

Whatever, Lea