Help, please : /

[2ticklish2say]

Hello everyone! I've been a member forever on this forum, but haven't really had a need to post anything until now. I've recently been feeling a huge and personal desire to finally come out to this man I'm sort of seeing about my tickling fetish. I know these posts are a dime a dozen, but I guess I never realized how terrifying this can be, and this is a place I feel safe talking about this when I don't have anywhere else.

Anyway, I'm a 20 year old female who has never really ever been that sexually active. When I studied abroad to Ireland, I finally met a man - who is 6 years older - that I really let in and became vulnerable around. He even visited this summer. Anyway, I live in the US, and I'm visiting during the holidays. I was wondering though........I mean this is something I've kept hidden and felt ashamed about forever. Since probably age 5. My first memory of tickling being something was preschool. I'm sure I could dig up something sooner though. Anyway I just feel like if I tell him through the internet I'll feel ashamed about it later when I see him and embarrassed in general I ever said anything. However, I don't want to wait until when I come over, and saying it on a video chat would be so awkward to me.

(On a side note, this is a personal shame. I think this community is so great, and to be honest I don't think there's anything wrong with this fetish, but it's just something I ingrained in myself.)

I just don't think I should hold this in anymore. At one point he and I were even talking about fetishes and I asked him if he had one and he said "no, but you probably wish I did" or something. That's when I started thinking that he would like that I had a fetish.....a sure way to turn me on.

This is just something I can't hold in anymore. I just wanted to maybe see what thoughts were on this subject because I really need some support in this. I mean this has felt like a deep dark secret of mine forever, but maybe telling him and getting it out into the light would make this feel less shameful and put into perspective that this isn't a big deal.

I'm rambling, but anyway I just wanted to see maybe what you all would think. I really respect the opinions on this forum, and to be honest just need some support. I have the chance to be completely, sexually satisfied and accepted here and I'm too afraid, which is so aggravating. Anyway just wanted to see if anyone else felt this way? or has gotten out of feeling this way?

 

[aun_existe_amor]

If I were you I'd wait until you are face to face and not say anything, just start a tickle fight and get him to tickle you that way. If you are going to say anything at all I wouldn't suggest using the word 'fetish', just say that being tickled sometimes makes you horny or something like that. Ask him what turns him on too. It doesn't sound so bad that way and it will still tell him what you want. Good luck

 

[Myriads]

I'm of the school that when it comes to sexual interaction between partners, that open honest communication is the best path.

By this I mean, if you like something, you discuss it. You don't play 'Lets see if I can get them to guess' games. You don't leave a trail of breadcrumbs that YOU think are screamingly obvious pointing to your wants, then become annoyed when they are not seen.

This covers all aspects of sex, not just fetishes. You need to talk to your partner and share what you like, and ask them the same.

Responsibility for ones own positive experiences in bed is key. And that means open honest communication.

Is it scary? Yes. Opening up this way is making yourself emotionally naked, and much like stripping down the first time in front of someone it can be frightening. But I feel it's a needful part of a relationship that one is pinning long term hopes for on.

And by all means wait until you are in person. Serious discussions like this deserve the strength of being together in person.

Myriads

 

[Babbles]

But of course proceed with caution...

All of the above (not to use the term "fetish" all that quickly either, you just find this "interesting" Though he's already mentioned the term --- )

*** and you really may not want to put anything in print

especially with an email address you associate with yourself in the everyday "vanilla" world ---

As nice as this guy seems, you don't want to find out later he'll use that information against you in any way ---- Regardless, it's not a good habit...

Sometimes it takes a lot longer to get to really know a person --- it's great you're comfortable enough to discuss "fetishes" certainly, but the distance is tough, and makes it harder perhaps to *really know someone well enough, soon enough (though you were probably there an entire semester....)

And maybe I'm wrong, I don't know how long or well you know this guy
------but I still wouldn't put that in print....!!

 

[me4o]

Don't be ashamed of your fetish It might sound strange to "normal" people, but there are fetishes a lot worse than yours (ours). Like the others said, tell him carefully, so you don't freak him out. And I think face to face would be the best option too. I know it's scary, but you'll get over it

 

[JUICEBOX]

I agree with leaving the word fetish out,.other than that as in most relationships i,m sure the topic" well what turns you on ?" will arise..and as a guy i like honesty,.and if you told me tickling turns you on i would certainly try my best to please you in that way..however ,.and this is just from my personal experience only,.i found that once i told the girl i was interested in that i love to tickle,." it turns me on "..she would either fade from the almost started relationship or she would allow me to tickle her to a point , which was o.k ,.but to me tickling is sexual , and i personally love it from start to finish in the sex department,.eventually she would become annoyed and that would end that. Even though there are worse fetishes than the one we have , there,s nothing better than to find the "ying " to your "yang"..i wish you the best and i say go for it tell him all the advice here has been great,..better to get it out now that way you can continue or move on.

 

[jrotanes]

When I realized tickling was a turn-on for me, I bought a copy of the book "Erotic Tickling" by Michael Moran. It is an unassuming, light treatise on how some people enjoy tickling as foreplay to sex. It does not treat tickling as a "fetish" but as somethin partners can enjoy as part of their intimacy. I highlighted some of the parts that I thought I would enjoy as a 'lee, and gave the book to my SO. She does not enjoy being tickled, but she does oblige my fetish. It was definitely an ice-breaker for us.
Perhaps when you see your man again, you can have a copy of it in hand.

Good luck!!