Hiding behind opinions?

[devilsadvocate]

its a strange thread, but the reason i started it was because i spoke to a friend of mine recently. He'd just been to see his favourite band and he was telling myself and his friend about it. he was well into the story and his friend goes. well they're crap, so lets not hear anymore. i was shocked because this was possibly the greatest experience of my friends life so far and to just have it dashed like that was out of order i thought, and i told him so. His respone was "i'm entitled to my opinion" and i thought to myself "yes you are but you're hiding behind the excuse there." Just wondering if anyone experiences the same kind of thing and if you do, what do you do about it?

 

[lk70]

that's a tough one. Some people think that just because they have a differing opinion, all discussion should stop. I'm going through that with a friend right now. After a particularly intense discussion about something she informed me that what I was feeling was wrong and there was nothing more to talk about. It's no way to manage a friendship, I think. Wish I could tell you how to handle it- hope someone tells ME how to handle it

 

[gabrielle]

I am having a pretty hard time to deal with such kind of attitude as well. My personal opinion is, that in a friendship, especially in a close one, if one person wants to continue a discussion, the other one should be ready to continue as well as long as they both come to a mutual agreement to end discussion, no matter how much they disagree on the subject.
As long as I care for someone, I will always care for their opinion and even if we disagree on a subject, I will always want to make sure that this disagreement doesn’t hurt the friendship as such.
I know, that if I am not willing to discuss with someone anymore, this is the moment, when I realize, I do not care for the friendship anymore.
So my way to handle such a situation, honestly, would be questioning the friendship, but as said, this is only my personal opinion.

 

[Redmage]

Everyone has the right to an opinion, but expressing that opinion may or may not be appropriate at any given time. For example, I think drugs should be legal, but I'd keep that opinion to myself if I were attending the funeral of someone who had been shot by a drug dealer. I might believe that the victim would not be dead if drugs were not in the hands of criminals, but that's just not the place to have that discussion.

Likewise, if someone clearly enjoyed something a lot, then calling "crap" or otherwise dismissing it as worthless is arguably pretty insensitive. The right to an opinion is not the right to be an asshole.

 

[Mz Chaos]

Regardless of what he said... interrupting someone like that is disrespectful no matter what the opinion may have been.

My response would have probably been... "Okay... you think the band is crap and thank you for interrupting so rudely, but I would like to hear the rest of the story," and would have encouraged my other friend to continue with the telling.

But... that's just me.

 

[Avenger314]

I usually tend to think people shouldn't share an opinion unless it meets 2 out of these three criteria: Intelligent, solicited, or welcome.

 

[TKpervert]

There's always the option to "agree to disagree", especially with irreconcilable differences. (yeah, I had to look up the spelling).

It can be a gracious 'out', soothing roughed-up feelings and preserving freindships for another day's discussions.
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[asutickler]

You should have just said, "You're an asshole, shut the fuck up."

When he objected, you could have said that that is your opinion, and that you're entitled to it.

 

[slacker2114]

Opinions are like assholes....everyone has one and they all stink. We've all heard that line. Truth is, most people who hide behind their opinions are close-minded assholes anyway. So how do you deal with it? Personally, I just drop it. When someone uses their opinion to end a conversation, it means they are not open to what anyone else has to say and it is therefore pointless to continue. Trying to get someone like that to listen to anything you have to say is like beating your head against a brick wall. Screw it. Change the subject. And if the opinion is rude, then your respect for that friend should drop a couple notches, simply because they won't even listen to a friend.

But that's just me.

 

[devilsadvocate]

I think thats the worst point about it though. (in reference to slackers post) that stating your opinion should be a valid argument to use. if you cant back up your opinion with an intelligent reason, is it really an opinion? or is it just a statement? Personally i think that anyone who's that close minded that they wont listen to the full story cant begin to have a valid opinion.

 

[LindyHopper]

If you cant back up your opinion with an intelligent reason, is it really an opinion? or is it just a statement?

Well, some kinds of opinions don't require an intelligent reason. Not liking a band is a personal preference, and doesn't need to be backed up by anything else.

What bugs me is when people can't distinguish between opinions that are merely personal preferences (i.e. chocolate is tasty) and opinions that are based on facts (i.e. aggressive children are more likely to have parents who use physical punishment than are nonaggressive children). People like to dismiss both kinds of statements as "just your opinion" and it kills me, because some opinions really are more "correct" than others.

On the other side, people tend to think that their own opinions all rise to the level of "fact." "That band sucks." "Democrats are wimps." "Spanking is the best way to discipline a child." And then they tolerate no argument, because they're "right." People are so dumb.
(This, of course, is only my opinion, and I recognize it as such. )

 

[Capnmad]

Entitlement to opinion is a wonderful freedom, but hardly an aegis against all assault. The problem with this brand of thinking is that it seizes power but neglects responsibility. You are entitled to the power of opinion, yes, but expression of it should be delivered with a reasonable expectation of tact -- something I find often severely lacking, even among close friends, unfortunately.

It is not unusual for one client or another with whom I work to make fun of another because of the way they dress, or because they don't have enough clothes and so seem to wear the same ones everyday. That's expression of opinion and could be argued for on the same basis, but it's also tactless, mean and rude. There are times to be frank and times not to be, and compassionate, intelligent people know when these times are.

Devilsadvocate, your "friend" sounds like he was going for a cheap laugh for the shock factor of telling you both the band the other friend liked was crap, or otherwise, is an inconsiderate asshole. Frankly, he's probably an inconsiderate asshole. Hey! I'm entitled to my opinion!

I know, that if I am not willing to discuss with someone anymore, this is the moment, when I realize, I do not care for the friendship anymore.
So my way to handle such a situation, honestly, would be questioning the friendship, but as said, this is only my personal opinion.

Interesting.