>1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table
>knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
leave
>immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
>
>2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
>scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.
You
>can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares
that
>it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to
turn
>into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have
one for
>me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
>
>3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy.
>Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed
>potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat
>
>4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or
>whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car
>with an automatic transmission.
>
>5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your
>eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas ! party is to eat
other
>people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
>
>6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's.
>You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
the
>time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
while
>carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
>
>7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted
>Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself
near
>them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the
center of
>attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
>behind, you're never going to see them again.
>
>8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
if
>you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
>three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
>
>9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory
>celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
>standards.
>
>10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or
>get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips;
>start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
table
>knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
leave
>immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
>
>2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
>scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.
You
>can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares
that
>it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to
turn
>into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have
one for
>me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
>
>3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy.
>Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your
mashed
>potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat
>
>4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk
or
>whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car
>with an automatic transmission.
>
>5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your
>eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas ! party is to eat
other
>people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
>
>6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's.
>You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
the
>time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table
while
>carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
>
>7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted
>Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself
near
>them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the
center of
>attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
>behind, you're never going to see them again.
>
>8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or
if
>you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
>three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
>
>9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory
>celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some
>standards.
>
>10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or
>get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read
tips;
>start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
