How is tickling perceived in the vanilla world?

[YouNeverKnow175]

First of all, I know this question has as many answers as there are individuals. But I'm curious to get your sense.

I've always felt my perception of tickling is (obviously) skewed. It's hard for me to understand how it's not sexual to most people. Yet, conceptually, I know it's not.

What's your sense of how vanilla people in 2016 perceive playful tickling between adults?

Would, for example, a friend tickling a married woman's foot very playfully be considered risqué or inappropriate? Or just a playful way to interact with a friend?

I know age seems to factor into this - when I was 20 it seemed much more commonplace for friends to tickle each other than now at 35.

Obviously in professional settings touch is very off limits these days, and culture of consent basically says that any touch at all should come with permission.

Anyhow, like I said, I know he spectrum is wide here and it basically comes down to the nature of the relationship between the two people. But I'm curious to get your takes. What have you observed, experienced, witnessed among vanilla folk that has informed your understanding of how tickling is perceived?

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

From what I've seen it's really just considered silly and playful by vanillas. Adult brothers and sisters poking each other while joking around. Men will briefly tickle another mans wife and the husband doesn't get mad. Aside from, as you mentioned, in a professional setting vanillas don't even give it a second thought. It's just a random, goofy playful thing.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

The general consensus seems to range from "silly and random" to "stupid and weird". The classic TMF "horrified and disgust" seems to never actually happen.

 

[Wolf]

The general consensus seems to range from "silly and random" to "stupid and weird". The classic TMF "horrified and disgust" seems to never actually happen.

Gotta agree with that, although I'd add "sexy and fun" to reaction list as well; a lot of vanilla* women I've known have had to deal with guys who were seriously boring in the bedroom, so a little kink is a godsend to them.

*I've never been a fan of that term, anyway. Especially in the context of the TMF, it's almost like an insult (if someone isn't into exactly what we're into...they must not be into anything).

 

[Sensualswitch10]

vanilla*

*I've never been a fan of that term, anyway. Especially in the context of the TMF, it's almost like an insult (if someone isn't into exactly what we're into...they must not be into anything).

Have to agree with Wolf on that point. I've used the term "vanilla" when describing people who aren't into tickling as a kink and it feels like in many cases just not accurate. I know some peeps who aren't into tickling, but are into some other stuff that's no where near vanilla. We need a term that says they're not ticklephiles but doesn't automatically mean vanilla. Any ideas?

On topic, I would add that tickling is usually viewed as a form of playful physical affection to most (insert more accurate term than vanilla) people. So some (new term) people may be uncomfortable with someone else tickling their SO, just because they are generally of a jealous persuasion and are bothered by... for instance another guy showing any type of physical affection to their wife.

 

[Wolf]

Have to agree with Wolf on that point. I've used the term "vanilla" when describing people who aren't into tickling as a kink and it feels like in many cases just not accurate. I know some peeps who aren't into tickling, but are into some other stuff that's no where near vanilla. We need a term that says they're not ticklephiles but doesn't automatically mean vanilla. Any ideas?

On topic, I would add that tickling is usually viewed as a form of playful physical affection to most (insert more accurate term than vanilla) people. So some (new term) people may be uncomfortable with someone else tickling their SO, just because they are generally of a jealous persuasion and are bothered by... for instance another guy showing any type of physical affection to their wife.

I appreciate the agreement, but I think you're making a lot of work for yourself. I just call them people. Some are into what we're into, some are not.

 

[Sensualswitch10]

I appreciate the agreement, but I think you're making a lot of work for yourself. I just call them people. Some are into what we're into, some are not.

I think I get what youre saying, like we don't need to put so many labels on people. But then how could the OP more accurately phrase the question?

 

[Wolf]

I think I get what youre saying, like we don't need to put so many labels on people. But then how could the OP more accurately phrase the question?

Since it's a given that we're all into it here, maybe..."How is tickling perceived by the rest of the world", or "outside the community"? But I don't get bent out of shape by the "vanilla" label, I just think it's a little too broad. I think most people are vanilla with a swirl.

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

I think most people are vanilla with a swirl.

And because of society's presure to fit in or be a certain way most people don't wanna admit that they have that swirl. But yeah, there are so many people that are into something different that sometimes I wonder if the kinky community actually outnumbers the vanillas again making you wonder if the term vanilla is needed or should be called something else.

 

[Wolf]

And because of society's presure to fit in or be a certain way most people don't wanna admit that they have that swirl. But yeah, there are so many people that are into something different that sometimes I wonder if the kinky community actually outnumbers the vanillas again making you wonder if the term vanilla is needed or should be called something else.

I've seen it used by all kinds of different communities (BDSM, poly, etc) to describe anyone who wasn't into their particular kink. I think sometimes the implication there is that because they don't like what someone else likes, they must not like anything. Like guys who can't get laid claiming that a woman must be frigid or a lesbian.

 

[CapturedDoll]

I think in the Vanilla world tickling is used as a form of flirting between adults. And a way to turn someone's attention completely towards the tickler. A way to let someone know you're interested in them. This certainly goes far beyond a high 5 or a hug. In bars through out the years I've seen random tickles passed around. And it always seemed like a blossoming relationship might be forming.

 

[CuteJill143]

I always felt that it was perceived as flirtatious or playful. I can't think in vanilla!

 

[BigApple3am]

I'll give my response from experiences of vanilla friends finding out about my fetish

example a: two younger friends (high school kids) when I was in college, found out because I hooked up with one of their sisters and got to tie her up and tickle her. Probably a mistake on my part considering she blabbed, but I didn't think that'd happen. Anyways, one night the 3 of us are playing a board game and they casually brought it up and kinda laughed at it, and I was kinda embarrassed and they could tell so they were like.. oh sorry and just let it go. I texted the one who was instigating it later and said hey man I understand it's kinda funny but don't knock something someone likes it makes them feel shitty and he responded with yeah that was probably insensitive on our part, my bad. So they didn't really think it was too weird, just kinda silly I guess.

example b: a friend borrowed my phone to use briefly because his died, I guess he opened my safari browser and one of the tabs was my pornhub favorites and he clicked on it and saw a couple of the videos. Basically a "what the hell is this" conversation ensued in which I just kinda played dumb. He said something along the lines of "yeah man I watch some freaky shit but this shit is really different. Whatever dude, you do you." Which was a decent enough reaction I guess. He's never brought it up again, and I'm not sure if he will.

example c: dated a girl who basically told her roommates everything. She told them about my fetish and they initially reacted badly, but then she explained the concept and why I like it, and their response was more "I guess it's weird but it sounds like it could be fun. I understand why he'd like it. I'd never do it but alright."

So yeah those are my examples. Never really taken too harshly, but I wouldn't go out and about telling people about it. I'll keep it a bit more private until I know the person and can gauge their reaction a bit better.

 

[questions]

Over the last two weeks I have introduced a vanilla friend to tickling. She started off saying that she wasn't a big fan of being tickled. Her feet were also not even a little ticklish the first time I tried. Over the last two weekends, we spent hours playing. She tied me up and became quickly addicted to lerring. She was too claustrophobic to be tied up, but she not only loves being tickled now, but after the first session she texted me, "who knew that tickling could be such a turn on." She is already talking about next time.

Oh, at the end of our first session I nibbled on her arch and she jumped and laughed. She had never felt tickling on her feet before. Apparently all of the stimulation had loosened her up so much that her feet were now ticklish. When I came back for session two they were back to normal, but it took less time for them to get ticklish again. She resists at first but once she breaks she has a great laugh. Her worst spots are her armpits, hips and her ears. A tongue in her ear makes her squirm and laugh and also turns her on.

I recorded 9 minutes of audio of her laughing at the end of session two. I have enjoyed listening to her giggle a few times since then.

I think it is safe to say that at least one vanilla woman thinks that tickling is pretty damned cool.

 

[Aeveirra]

Omg I know exactly how you feel! I don't understand how somone can't like being tickled (heh... I'm a lee )
Idk, I just think it feels sooo amazing <3 plus... It's the hottest thing in the world to me.

But, yeah, it just baffles me why this fetish is not more popular than it should be.
Most people are ticklish, and it's such a common/easy thing to do.
But.. More people hate it, than love it. And even less are actually turned on by it.

I'm sorry to say, that i don't have an answer for your question.
Like yourself, my perception is also skewed.
I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't like this....I really can't.

And it's not like I have tunnel vision or anything.
I mean, if I had a fetish for balloons, I could probably easily imagine that most people wouldn't find them appealing.
But....tickling seems like a no-brainer kink. Something that should easily be amoung the top 5 most common fetishes.
Yet.... It's actually quite uncommon. Many porn sites don't even list it as it's own category.
And that's the type of thing, I'll never understand

But I feel fortunate to be into tickling <3 it's probably the most tame, / "normal" fetish to have (compared to everything else out there!)

 

[BigApple3am]

I mean, if I had a fetish for balloons, I could probably easily imagine that most people wouldn't find them appealing.
But....tickling seems like a no-brainer kink. Something that should easily be amoung the top 5 most common fetishes.
Yet.... It's actually quite uncommon. Many porn sites don't even list it as it's own category.
And that's the type of thing, I'll never understand

But I feel fortunate to be into tickling <3 it's probably the most tame, / "normal" fetish to have (compared to everything else out there!)

I think the thing that separates tickling from other obscure fetishes is that it's actual touch and/or something with pleasure/pain involved. Tickling is often seen as a flirtatious thing, it's crossing over into actually enjoying it sexually that most vanillas don't understand (at least until they try it). For me, I'll never be able to get off to balloons. There's nothing.. inherently sexual about them. Tickling isn't exactly sexual in nature, but like I said, it's touch and pleasure/pain directly involved with another person.

 

[Volsung]

I think that the challenge is to treat it as casual tickling, even though it's making you horny as hell...

 

[duderino84]

The reaction is bullshit. In the dating world, It's frowned upon because you can't treat a S/O like a queen/king if you're tickling them.

 

[Wolf]

The reaction is bullshit. In the dating world, It's frowned upon because you can't treat a S/O like a queen/king if you're tickling them.

What the hell are you talking about?