I need help!!!

[Skepticism]

I'm not exactly sure where to start. ost of the time, I clear the history and all that kind of stuff when I'm on here. My girlfriend knows I'm into tickling and feet, and occassionally she lets me tickle her, but not often. I've been slowly introducing her to the idea of being tied and tickled and I think she's starting to crack. Anyhow, I've shown her this website before and she didn't seem very interested, to say the least. Now she's quite aware that I enjoy the Tickle Theater very much, despite that fact that I clear the history after I'm on here. So, on to my problem. Last night she came over and saw I had cleared the history, so she knew I was here I guess. She got out of the shower and said she wants me to stop looking at "porn". I'm not so sure I'd really consider this porn, but this is what she meant. I don't know why, all of a sudden, she decided to argue about this, but she ended up being pretty pissed off even though I didn't say much. I've enjoyed tickling as long as I can remember, and as I got older it developed into a fetish. Besides the fact that I enjoy the people here, the pictures, videos, and stories aren't so much about the women in them as they are the actual act of tickling that's happening. I'm not willing to give this up. I don't understand why it's a problem, I'm not on here while she or anyone else is around, it's in my spare time, and not even much of it. My fetish isn't overwhelming any aspect of our relationship, in fact, it's hardly present at all. I guess my point is, I think what she's asking is unfair and I need help explaining this to her. I love her and I'm not going to give her up, but nor will I stop enjoying something that's been a part of my life and does no harm whatsoever to our relationship. I'm at a loss as far as getting her to understand this at all, let alone without making her really angrier. So, any advice anyone would care to give would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance =)

 

[tk0]

Did she specifically mention the word "tickling"?

 

[Skepticism]

No, she didn't specifically mention tickling, but without saying too much, this is what she was talking about. I guess fetish sites are a kind of porn, and to be honest, the is the closest thing to any kind of porn that I enjoy. She knows this is what I like and this is where I go when the need arises...if you catch my drift...

 

[Cbarton]

She probably thinks/fears that you are putting your passions into TK rather than her. Many women look upon stuff like this as if you are "replacing her' with porn. Whether you consider it porn or not is NOT the issue. Her perspective is the issue. It may mean you showing her EXACTLY what you look at so she knows whether her position in your mind/heart/libido is secure or threatened. It may mean backing off from here a while. Be open with her about it. The fact that you are hiding it makes her all the more suspicious of what you look at and why.

She feels threatened. It's your job to show her that she does not need to feel that way in a positive approach and attitude.

 

[Journia]

She feels threatened. It's your job to show her that she does not need to feel that way in a positive approach and attitude.

No...
It is your duty....

 

[Tickler Bart]

This may be her way of telling you that she does NOT like being tickled and she does not want you to do it anymore. Like you, she doesn't want to 'lose' you, but she is not willing to 'allow' you to have anything to do with your tickle porn. (Her words).
My advice is to sit down with her & have a real discussion about this.
It would NOT be a good idea to ignore it or to stop ANYTHING until you speak with her candidly & get all of this out in the open.
Also, it sounds to me that she's been 'speaking' to her friends about this & they are telling her to put a stop to this immediately.
This is, of course, my own opinion & I could be totally off base here.

 

[the_jimmy_james]

Sounds like she needs to lighten frak up. If she can't enjoy being tickled of all the gorram things, then what can she enjoy? Also, if she's a whiner about being tickled, but this is an important thing to you, guess what?

She needs to deal. Relationships are give and take. She's not willing to give, but she's apparently more than willing to take.

I haven't always been I guess, "in" to all the things enjoyed by g/fs and friends w/benefits and the such, but I've always made it a point to TRY TO LEARN AND CARE.

And this is tickling... it's something that siblings do. It's something that friends do. It's something that people do all the time and enjoy. It's soooo not something she really has much reason to get so PMS about.

It's just as much her place to embrace you and your feelings/desires/needs as it is for you to do the same. See what I mean? It's the give-take thing. It's a 2-way street. It's not "G/F CONTROLS LIFE".

F that. Tell her that this is EXTREMELY important. Don't just let your needs be swept under the rug. After all, it's freaking TICKLING. Like I said, it's not very "hardcore" if you know what I mean. It's not like you're asking her to do it in the butt. If she can't be arsed with enjoying being tickled? Maybe you shouldn't be arsed with what she says.

I dunno. Maybe someone who seems to actively rebuff something so simple, yet so important, isn't worth your time.

 

[Bashiku]

Tobi has an advice... a good one this time... take her out for some romantic dinner and tell her those old fashion stuff, like "you are only one", "All i need is you", "I am in love in you", "your smile makes world turn around"... trust Tobi that works no matter how many times you do it, just if you present it right Good luck mate

 

[Skepticism]

I appreciate everyone's advice very much. After talking to her a bit last night, it seems that KYHawkEye hit the nail right on the head, so to speak. She feels that if I use the computer as a sexual outlet, no matter how infrequently, that she isn't satisfying me. I have a feeling there's another problem, being as how this just came out of nowwhere, but I'll deal with that when it gets here. Thank you again, everyone. I won't be going anywhere though, I know that much. So I guess we'll see what happens now...

 

[tk0]

The reason why I asked if she specifically mentioned tickling is because if you still clear the history after she already knows that you look at tickling she might think that you're looking at something else that you don't want her to see or know about.

 

[BigNorm]

No, she didn't specifically mention tickling, but without saying too much, this is what she was talking about. I guess fetish sites are a kind of porn, and to be honest, the is the closest thing to any kind of porn that I enjoy. She knows this is what I like and this is where I go when the need arises...if you catch my drift...

sounds like you need to stop erasing the history. let her know you've been faithful and just visiting TT. also, from experience, spend more time with her than here online. it'll show her that she means alot to you and she'll do about anything to make you happy for being faithful to her, and then she might go with the tied up and tickled thing. but on the first session being tied up, i'd do only light to moderate tickling, since first impressions the way they are, you don't want it to be torture for her just yet.

 

[Skepticism]

Thanks to everyone that replied, I appreciate your input and advice!

 

[mcmunagle1]

"I love her and I'm not going to give her up, but nor will I stop enjoying something that's been a part of my life and does no harm whatsoever to our relationship"

I would tell her exactly what you said there. If she loves you she should understand.

 

[3xPIN]

Thanks to everyone that replied, I appreciate your input and advice!

Well let us know how it goes/went! I mean you are still replying... kind of.

I have these things to say:

To you: Find out if she means this place for sure! If you love her, let this place go. do it slowly, say goodbye: If you do maybe someday she will come back with you. if not, she needs to understand that she will have to be your new Tickle Theater. If not dump the bitch!

To her: She has every right to say "Please don't do this any more for me." And she can do it with anything for any reason. BUT, Dropping the bomb on a guy of "Stop looking at porn" is a tallfucking order!!! It would be like saying, "Mom, no more telling me to clean my room!" Or, "Hey coach, don't tell my kid how to play baseball!" Or telling your girlfriend (Prepare for TRUTH and HATEFUL responses), "Honey, I don't want you eating chocolate any more!" Is it possible, absolutely. But you're gonna need some time to drink this shit in. Make sure you communicate that.

Good luck in the relationship and God bless.

 

[3xPIN]

The reason why I asked if she specifically mentioned tickling is because if you still clear the history after she already knows that you look at tickling she might think that you're looking at something else that you don't want her to see or know about.

Also try not clearing you history and see what she says.
if she confronts you say, "Kay, but why are you snooping in my computer?" Wheres the trust? I mean come on! What is she your MOM?

 

[MistressValerie1]

"I love her and I'm not going to give her up, but nor will I stop enjoying something that's been a part of my life and does no harm whatsoever to our relationship"

I would tell her exactly what you said there. If she loves you she should understand.

I agree that this would appear to be the best course. If she is so insecure that she cannot accept your browsing of this relatively tame forum, she will probably be controlling in other areas as well.