I think my wife has grown to dislike being tickled

[TKL_Rebel]

Good Evening all,

It has been a long time since I stopped being a regular poster on here, up until around the time I met my now wife, I used to post many stories and frequently engage in topics of conversation.

I wish I was back here on a brighter note but an issue has come up in my relationship which quite frankly I don't think I could talk to anyone else about and have them understand the situation I am dealing with.

I'm almost fully convinced my wife does not like being tickled in my favorite places to tickle.

As with many folk here, I have a foot fetish which accompanies my love for tickling which of course makes my favourite spot to tickle, feet.

Back almost 10 years ago when we first met, my hands would constantly be on her ribs, feet, underarms etc. There never seemed to be a problem, if anything, she seemed to really enjoy it.

During the first half of our relationship, we'd always be getting up to things all the time and as I said. There never seemed to be any real issue. But as time passed I began to notice a small suttle change which has lead to what I am about to explain.

The other night (her birthday) I had her tied down to the bed and I planned on fucking her in a manner she loves but before then, I wanted to hear some laughs.

There were some laughs for the first few minutes whilst tickling her back and ribs but it eventually turned into sounds of what could only be described as someone groaning in light pain (like lifting weights but not so intense). When it came to tickling her feet, no laughs, just the disgruntled groaning sound. So to finish off the situation, I made sure that she cummed hard whilst fucking her and untied her.

After I untied her she could tell something was up so she asked what was wrong, I asked her "Why don't you laugh? It sounds like your in pain and just frustrated/pissed off/angry after tickling your ribs for a while or just going near your feet at all"

"Because it really tickles" she responded, said in such a way as if I was dumb for even asking.

Fast forward to today, I was getting ready for work whilst she was still in bed, watching her show for the past 40 minutes, and I was feeling playful. I slid my hand under the duvet, reached for her feet and began spider tickles. She just sort of huffed and kicked her foot away. I persisted because I didn't want to believe what I thought might be happening. I reached for a hairbrush, got an ok grip on her ankle and made slight contact with a bit of movement on her foot and the same thing happened again like the other night, the pissed off, discomfort groaning.

At this point I just stopped, got up and continued getting ready for work. She knows me very well and asked what was up, I replied "Nothing, just sounded like you were in pain" I think instantly realised that I was reffering to the comment I made the other night and realised that she was beginning to let slip.

She seemed concerned about me, asking if i was alright before I walked out the apartment for work. Fortunately I managed to make her believe her that nothing was up and left, I didn't need to have that "discussion" before a day in the office.

During my drive to work I received a picture message from her and its her feet, soles face up, with the hair brush resting on them.

I honestly didn't know what to say as I am now almost certain, its a problem for her, and I dont want to put her through something that she doesn't enjoy.

"Looks Dangerous" was all I could think to remark...

"mmmmm" was the response... heard nothing from her until late afternoon just asking how my day had been.

Well thats the context, all day at work I have been trying to come to terms that I may never get to fully induldge in my "tickle side" again. Don't get me wrong, she is accomadating when it comes to the foot fetish aspect, not as dominating as I day dream about but I am no means deprived in that department like some unfortunate people. I just have no clue how to broker this topic with her because I know she will tell me, what she believes I want to hear and then offer to be tied up, but if someone isn't laughing and seems to be groaning in pain, its not gonna do it for me, especially if they are in real discomfort and would prefer not to engage in that activity.

Has anyone else faced this scenario before? Is there a way to turn it around? What would you do in my situation?

I'm really at a loss here on what to do so any advice/ideas that could be shared would be very much appreciated!

Sincerely

TKL_Rebel

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Does she know it's a fetish for you, or she was just ok with you doing it up until now?

 

[TKL_Rebel]

Oh she knows its a big thing for me. Has done for a decade

 

[ChicagoDavid]

I'll admit I'm just guessing, but it sounds like she "likes" it to some extent because she wants you to be happy. There is nothing wrong with that. Maybe you need to do it a bit less often, or a bit less intensely, for awhile? Like when your partner is tired and you push for sex, they try to indulge, but it then becomes a chore. Pull back a bit.

 

[mabus]

I agree with ChicagoDavid..maybe just give her a break.

Give her some foot massages, just watch her walk around, back rubs, maybe try footjobs if you haven't already.

Let's face it, as fun as tickling is....it can get aggravating after a while! Your body tenses up, you laugh but have those fight reflexes....people need a break.

Give her some time, then slowly get back into it, and see if that helps.

 

[Docsoul]

I agree with Mabus and ChicagoDavid. I've been with my wife for more than 10 years. My wife is ticklish. I used to love tickling her because of the laugh. Now, her laugh is hit or miss. Most of the time, she has some desperate breathing and withdrawing of the area that is being tickled. I don't think that she was ever really into tickling but kinda adapted to please me. She's been getting a kick out of tickling me lately. She laughs as I try to get away from her.

Now I don't tickle her as often as in the past. I still like to surprise her just when she thinks it won't happen because it hasn't happened in a while. That's what usually provokes the best laughter from her.

 

[TKL_Rebel]

Tickling in the manner I've described rarely happens theses days. Sex happens at the weekends mainly and what happens then is divided across the various links, tickling is very in frequent. It could be several months without a brush on her soles.

I appreciate the advice thank you

 

[playjoe]

Could be that time of the month

 

[TMF Jeff]

I would recommend being as open and direct as possible - tell her what you're thinking and feeling, and ask her to be as open and honest as she can in return.

Guessing at what she's thinking and why, could lead you to go in a direction that isn't necessary in the first place. Then she has to guess why you're doing that, and if she guesses wrong - now you're both off on a wild goose chase in two random directions.

Honesty isn't always the best policy, when a harmless lie can spare someone you care about from hurt feelings - but it's generally the best policy. And open communication is pretty essential when you're going to spend your entire life with a person.

Sit her down with a glass of wine or something, during a time when you're both relaxed and comfortable, and just tell her what you've been observing and thinking. And invite her to do the same thing. Maybe you're right and she's not enjoying it as much, or maybe there's something else entirely going on. The only way to really find out is to talk.

 

[robmic]

Jeff's advice is the best I've heard here so far! Communication! It's essential to any part of a relationship!!!

 

[Yote]

Hopefully talking it out or taking a break will work out, like the others said. I hope things go well. And if she does want to stop tickling altogether worst case, at least she's fine with accommodating your foot fetish.

 

[redheadlady]

Yep, definitely keep communicating as others have said.

 

[bunnysweet97]

gone

 

[HallKogan]

Lots of great advice here, and I’ll throw in my own 2 cents.

First of all, don’t give in to frustration. It’s a blessing to have a wife that loves you, and that’s cool with your fetish. Stay cool, hang in there, don’t push her.

My own wife says that she hates being tickled, but there are times when she’ll be an instigator, knowing full well that I’m going to tickle her. Other times when she’s in a playful mood, I’ll just go for it and she’ll laugh and wrestle with me grabbing my wrists.

Give her time, she’ll come around.

 

[Soles_Scream]

Tkl_Rebel, I hope your situation gets solved. I want to applaud your instincts on this one, though I hope your hypothesis is flawed about your wife losing ticklishness or interest in it.

I like to believe I'd pick up on the same cues you did, and basically come to a similar conclusion - yet be incorrect. Based on your OP, you strike me as a person who both makes sure your wife's needs are met as well as your own. I think its encouraging that your wife asks you how you feel after noticing your concern, and even goes a step further and sends you photos that "tickle" your tickling itch.

Echoing the sentiments of other replies here, communication and maybe a warm up (massage, cuddles, etc.) before the tickling might help.

I am rooting for you because it seems like you are a good man, and your wife sounds amazing.

 

[ElFewja]

I read something along the lines of 'sex is the first thing to go' when people are having emotional issues or stressed or something like that. Couldn't find the quote or article I read it from. Sorry.

 

[duderino84]

Here's two ideas:

1. Roll out the papers. Ya, you're "old" but you're young enough to see the forest for the trees.
2. Stop tickling/ foot stuff/ fetish shit altogether for as long as it takes for her to invite the bullshit back. I mean, regular people have done fine with regular fucking for a long time now... maybe there's reasoning behind it?

 

[Kyle1986]

My man, I do not mean to trivialize your thinking at all, as everything is relative. But compared to a lot of marital / relationship tickling issues I've read about on here, I think you're still very fortunate to have a wife who is as attentive to your interests as she is. Most women without the fetish are tolerating it at best. Others will neutrally indulge occasionally. Seems like its the minority that fully embrace it, especially over the long haul. I think its a big ask for partners of either sex to indulge full hearted over the long haul of a relationship into a BDSM fetish for their partners sake.

Countless times we've read stories on here about the spouse who finally "cracks" after years of partaking. I think you're far from it. Try to take some solace into the fact that she truly cares enough to engage you about it without you having to bring it up, and will even send you teasing photos still, as she recently did with the hairbrush. Without sounding like an insensitive jerk in the peanut gallery, I think I'm trying to say don't lose sight of the big picture. Sounds like you have an incredible partner.

You're incredibly lucky to have a partner who not only indulges, but proactively ensures you're interests are in her field of concern. You've got some great communication channels it sounds like: use them. You'll be fine.

 

[WheresThe Clip?]

It sounds like this is all you think about it, and maybe she is getting bored with that approach. What does she like to do (and I am not just talking sexual)? Make her interests your interests, and then she will be more likely to indulge you again.

The other thing is people do tend to get more serious minded the older they get, and if this isn't her specific fetish, the idea of having to be constantly reduced to giggling hysteria, may be making her feel trivialized.

 

[BlueFlame]

I agree with TMF Jeff, and was going to give same advice, myself. Communication is vital. If you are worried that she will just tell you what you want to hear, just be very clear that what you would appreciate is her honest feelings because you care about her.

 

[goalie34]

If she’s asking you what’s wrong and isn’t upset after an instance of tickling, I’d say you just aren’t getting the reactions you prefer. Especially if your sex life is good otherwise I’d just talk to her about it.