Is a tickling fetish the product of a sheltered life?

[Violetta]

So I was thinking (after a trio of Manhattans) about the people I've come to know during my years in this community. There's a few that have broken the mold and stood out, but by and large there's been a vast number of people who've exhibited all the traits of having lived a very sheltered life.

I've seen people decry the evils of alcohol and smoking and sex. I've seen people go so far as to swear that they would never so much as step foot inside a Hooter's restaurant, as though such places were the site of Black Masses.

I've met far more people who, even well into their 20s, still live with their parents rather than rent their own place. They don't drive. They don't go out. The barely have friends outside of the internet.

This seems to be the public face of the tickling fetish.

Then I started to reason it out in my head.

Tickling, much like sex, is a pretty joyous act. There's laughter as the end result, which is a sign of enjoyment, of a thrill, but also of uncontrolled bliss. But where do you see tickling focused at? At places distant from anything overtly erotic; the feet, under the arms, across the belly, and slowly circling towards the erogenous like breasts or marvelously naughtier places.

But why would we focus on those areas? Because we were sheltered from real intimacy? Because for most of us there still exists an early established taboo against the sexual?

Sure! Why not? I'll admit, I was raised extremely sheltered. I out-right feared sex until I was in my mid-teens. But, like normal teenagers, I rebelled and lost my virginity. For me it was right after I got to college when I was 18. The mystique was met with reality and experience, and after that I was open to what I knew actually turned me on.

But what about those who never breached that momentous occasion? Sure, the less-than-erogenous places of the human body provide a safe harbor for people who've been taught that sex is bad, or some such lie. And laughter might just make a suitable replacement for coitus if intimacy still holds some instilled guilt for you.

But what do you think? Do you think that being raised in a sheltered environment could actually make someone replace normal sexuality with a fetish like this?

 

[erraticemphatic]

Wow. Heavy question.

I would not say that I live or have lived a sheltered life, but, in a broad scope, I would speculate that it is the sheltered lifestyle that is the product of the fetish (and whatever else neurologically that might be at play consequently) rather than the reverse.

But I do suppose I have lived a somewhat more sheltered life than others around me and am without a doubt far more introverted. Various fetishes kept me far too confused to really approach sex itself until I was about 17. I have only truly enjoyed sex once; it has been traumatic every other time, for reasons I don't really know how to articulate, and the times have thus been few. I've also experimented with the same sex, and that went okay, but I'm afraid the simple answer of homosexuality is not completely fitting. I made lots of Internet friends as a kid, while my fetishes were developing, not so much as I got older. I am introverted, but I am socially healthy; I compensate by keeping proportionately extraverted company most of the time. I am pretty impressively bad at approaching the real world and managing a sustainable lifestyle; I'm a very easygoing person, and problems like that make me nervous. In fact, a decent but not overwhelming list of things make me nervous.

Not necessarily relevant but interesting: scenes depicting rape disturb people greatly. They are fairly disturbing to me but, I've gathered, not as much as they are to other people. I become intensely disturbed at scenes depicting any kind of torture, including (and sometimes especially) instances of normally considered innocent childhood sibling torture and especially when restraint and a great deal of fear are involved. My hypothesis is this: people find rape extremely disturbing because it is something they find sexual being used to hurt somebody. Same concept in my case: I find those same themes incredibly arousing in sexual contexts, horrifying outside of them.

 

[Featherdemon]

Hmm. An interesting question with a loaded conclusion.

Your question seems to suggest that the tickling fetish exists only to serve as a stop gap for those who have yet to experience the less 'vanilla' forms of sexuality; that to find tickling as erotic is taken in lieu of the more common place, more obviously erotic fetishes.

Then one would expect to see the tickle fetish to have a high turnover, would we not? Looking at this site, I do not believe that to be the case. Certainly I have been here a long time and hope to remain for rest of my days.

Tickling is a gentle, non invasive and by its nature generally a delicate pleasure and thus you ask if it is but a stepping stone in the pyramid of sexual exploration. But is it right to say that only folk who have lived sheltered lives come here, even if they do move on?

No it is not.

I think it would be false to believe that people who enjoy the tickle fetish are ignorant or are disapproving of other fetishes. I think it is possible, due to its nature and the fact we are exposed to it at such an early age, that tickling can open an awareness to sexuality long before people are exposed to other fetishes. I can personally remember being tickled when I was 7 and finding that it gave me shivers and that I really enjoyed it. Obviously at such an age I would not have come across other more hardcore indulgences. Concurrently I think there may be a pattern of tickling being a person's first fetish and thus there maybe a higher level of 'vanilla' preferences.

This, however, does not and should not suggest that it is a fetish for only sheltered people.

People who have tickling as a fetish do so for the love of tickling. However, as you are aware, tickling is often coloured with other fetishes. Often the act of tickling involves other elements, such as bondage, power plays, denial, actual torture and many other aspects, but tickling is still a key and integral part. I think the fact that people keep coming back to be tickled while enjoying the other elements suggest that tickling is more than just a stepping stone.

It is very possible that a person who enjoys bondage in tickling can let the tickling aspect slide in favour of the bondage. However, it is just as likely that a person who likes to be tied up and tickled will only indulge for the sake of tickling. The inclusion of other fetishes in the act of tickling does not mean a diminutive appreciation of tickling. At the same time there is nothing wrong with using tickling as introduction to other elements and then choosing to pick the darker side.

I personally have several fetishes other tickling, each of them more adult and extreme that tickling - and no, I'm not telling you what they are . Yet I indulge in my tickling fetish more often and more frequently. I lived a quiet life and while tickling was my first fetish, but I can enjoy it without affecting the others.

I think tickling can be a gentle introduction to the fetish world, and that is a good thing. But it is not just a place for the sheltered folk.

On a separate not, it is curious you separate the tickling fetish from 'normaly sexuality'...

 

[Violetta]

Erratic, that's actually an interesting idea that it's entirely the other way around from what I was suspecting. Naturally, I could imagine how being attracted to what might be considered a more deviant sexual practice could result in someone sequestering themselves. Your own experience with your fetishes shying you away from more typical sex even has a familiarity to it; it's a difficult topic to broach with a partner, and sex without the fetish can indeed be unrewarding. You present a good "egg before the chicken," you might say.

Feathers, you're right that it seems the question does in fact suggest, but I didn't mean to say that the fetish only emerges as a place holder for sex nor that it wasn't as erotic in its own right. In fact, tickling is entirely erotic because of the intimacy that must take place between the people participating in it.

I would hesitate to agree completely on the turnover of its fetishists, though. You and I have both haunted this site for years, but there's many people who've come and gone during that time as well. Still, I don't mean to say it's only a stop gap form of sexuality, evidenced even in myself as I've long since become sexually active, and I do enjoy that, but all of my fetishes remain even the ones that developed alongside tickling at an early age. But you do raise several good points, and it's an excellent argument for tickling independent of a sheltered upbringing.

Finally, my use of the word "normal" stems, I think, from the community's perspective. Most people in my experience here separate the fetish from "mainstream" practices, which implies a departure from normalcy.

 

[CuddlyCanadian]

I've always found that tickling is just an intense foreplay that inevitably leads to myself and my partner at the time making out. It's an intimate experience to explore the body of someone and found out what touching areas will do to them. Aside from that, I guess part of me felt sheltered, but I'm certainly not a 40 year old virgin living in the rents basement haha! I've been living away from home at university for a couple years now.

As to where my fetish came from, I always attribute it to just having been tickled as a child. Whether it was my mother, my grandmother, neighbor girls, babysitters, and even a teacher who I was fond of simply because she'd surprise me in my grade 1 classroom without my realizing it. You can only be so sheltered when you attend a public school where some parents are less strict than others. I quickly learned everything I needed to know to be a naughty kinkster between the sheets. Part of what you said I'm sure has merit in others' situations.

 

[Regal]

For me an interest in tickling arose when I was a kid watching the old TMNT cartoon. Seeing April O'Neel getting tickled by that mobster dude always gave me a stiffy. Furthermore, I wouldn't say I live a sheltered life growing up. I went to public schools all my life. Today I'm pretty much a shut in. I hardly go out anymore, a stark contrast to how I spent my earlier years.

 

[Tyralin]

As far as I remember, I've always had this fetish and it's always excited me. I am not really sheltered at all, and I do go out and drive etc. I was never taught that sex was wrong, just that it was best done after marriage. I don't follow that standard myself, despite thinking I would when I was younger.

Taking all of this into account, I do think that it can have an effect on your sexual wants, living a sheltered life. It's certainly not ALWAYS the case, but it would be slightly ignorant of me to say that it can't happen at all. When you're very sexually active, but can't shake the teaching that taught you that sex was a sinful thing, it would make sense that the brain would find other ways to give you what you want. It isn't at all an alien idea. However, at the same time, people could be sexually active, know that sex isn't at all a bad thing, and still have a fetish like this. I point to myself as an example. I've had sex before, I've had foreplay, I've fondled. And NONE of it did a thing for me. Despite knowing all my life that sex was a beautiful thing, I've developed my kinks. SO much so, in fact, that they are the ONLY way for me to get off at all. My sexual encounters involved me bringing my mind somewhere else to satisfy the one I was with at the time.

So, where as I do agree with you Violetta, I think there's some other subtle switch that we're missing. Something that may just get ticked at random. I don't know yet, but it's certainly an interesting and fun thing to talk and think about.

 

[Relent<]

I think it's your sample. Your primary source of raw data is the internet in this respect. There may very well be people out there who are perfectly socially healthy individuals and happen to be infatuated with tickling. But they just don't spend their time on the internet to satiate their lusts (?) or simulate social interactions.
There was a similar conclusion drawn once before from the sociological profiles of people that spend more than 40+hrs/ week playing MMORPGs. At any given time, there are bound to be more socially/ emotionally/ sexually repressed people on the internet than anywhere else in society. One isn't necessarilly the cause of the other; its just something that your sample has in common with itself.
If your conclusion had been drawn from a decently sized group of tickle enthusiast that you'd encountered in several places, it would hold more firmly with your hypothesis.

 

[RangerLoki]

This thread is amazing!

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I've seen and some wild shit, starting in my teens, and tickling is still my main fetish. So I'm voting no.

 

[CellarDweller]

Interesting thread.

I'm may not be the most "outgoing" person, but I wouldn't classify myself as sheltered. As a kid I was a member of scouts, little league, CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) and other "kid groups".

As an adult, I've joined online communities and gone places with them, whether it be across the country, across the world, or just to a club in NYC.

I'm currently a member of IGBO (International Gay Bowlers Organization) so my social calendar is pretty full.

 

[Relent<]

In an unrelated matter, I've found in my happenings across the internet that there is some correlation--according to the research anyway--between transsexualism and the tickling fetish.
I found it to be a shocking consideration, being that in my experience a lot of people I'd seen on tickling sites were borderline homophobic. Then I realized that a majority of the individuals who were posting at the time were just foot fetishist that had been too obnoxious not to be kicked off of whatever website they were coming from.

Personally, I've met a few people in the tickling community who were transsexuals. But I suppose it's possible that for all of the people who frequent this site, not all of them have an active voice in the forum. So maybe the research is right; maybe it's just a coincidence; maybe they're way off base.
I just thought it was interesting. But like I said, it may be an altogether unrelated matter.

 

[Runmn]

I'm convinced that fetishes have much more to do with the way we are genetically wired than anything else.

 

[Slaver123]

In an unrelated matter, I've found in my happenings across the internet that there is some correlation--according to the research anyway--between transsexualism and the tickling fetish.
I found it to be a shocking consideration, being that in my experience a lot of people I'd seen on tickling sites were borderline homophobic. Then I realized that a majority of the individuals who were posting at the time were just foot fetishist that had been too obnoxious not to be kicked off of whatever website they were coming from.

Personally, I've met a few people in the tickling community who were transsexuals. But I suppose it's possible that for all of the people who frequent this site, not all of them have an active voice in the forum. So maybe the research is right; maybe it's just a coincidence; maybe they're way off base.
I just thought it was interesting. But like I said, it may be an altogether unrelated matter.

Tickling is a "transexual" sort of thing to do- especially to a submissive man. There's not much difference between how a male or female squirms when tickled. Same thing with the way they laugh.

I'm sure "Transexual" is the wrong word- probably better to say that tickling blurs the boundaries between male and female. As far as "homophobia", it's not very macho for a man to even admit he has a feminine side- you hafta be really secure in your manhood to even suggest such a notion. Too bad, that's another negative aspect of this "alpha/dominance" culture we're stuck in....


(oops- forgot the original topic)

I was sheltered as a kid. Then I embraced a religion that condemned all sorts of sex. Obviously I developed a huge tickling fetish. Correlation doesn't equal causation, but I'd be suprised if the sheltered life and religion didn't contribute to my fetish.

(Note that I do NOT consider my fetish to be a "negative" thing- I love it, it's who I am deep inside. A sheltered life leaves you unprepared for all the sociopaths you meet as an adult so in that sense it's a negative thing- and of course a fanatical religion is an extreme Negative)

 

[erraticemphatic]

In an unrelated matter, I've found in my happenings across the internet that there is some correlation--according to the research anyway--between transsexualism and the tickling fetish.

As a data point for you, Relent<, I have the slightest bit of transsexual/transvestistic curiosity. I feel that I would often sexually identify better as a woman, and MrTicklefeet's fetish counselor from several posts ago suggested that a tickling fetish has to do with feminine emotions. Foot fetishism is probably my biggest fetish, but it also feels gender-neutral, depending on the given day. I think, someday, I will give transvestism a shot.

 

[laughingisgood]

Good question. Hard to say for sure. They say strange sexual desires (fetishes) mainly arise from a young age when a child confuses something as sexual that isn't and that original seed in their head eventually blooms into a fetish in adult life. All questions like these regard the brain, which is not only confusing, but the section of the brain that deals with "sexual desires" is especially mysterious. But looking at people's personal experiences and finding common trends is definitely an effective method of figuring a correlation out!

As for me, I never had sexual interaction with a girl until I was a junior in high school. By this time I had already known I had a tickling fetish. I think it was developed because as a little kid I used to tickle my friends all the time and used to find it really fun and used to want more. Since I didn't know of any other form of sexual activity I used to just think of how tickling was fun and eventually confused that with something sexy and BOOM right there the fetish was born.

But great topic! Thanks for asking!:stickout

 

[Sorcerer Lance]

Tough to say really. My parents more or less sheltered me a bit in retrospect and I kept away from alcohol and drugs (but that was partially due to the brainwashing of the 90's anti-drug propaganda they pumped out aggressively and daily).

However, I will say I've known I've had a foot fetish since I was a toddler (as, creepily enough, dad admitted he found out in his observations)... I was downright obsessed with feet and the whole tickling fetish kind of added a new dimension of foot admiration as opposed to the traditional admiration and such.
It didn't help quite a large number of cartoons happened to have a tickle torture scene in at least one episode, so that kind of fed fuel to the fire of my natural curiosity and eventual enjoyment seeing and hearing people giggling while at the same time enjoying my foot obsession. I even had a few tickle fights with some friends as well as a secret means of trying it out myself and I realized it was as much fun as how the cartoons depicted it.

Unsurprisingly after getting the internet at around 1998 as a preteen, I realized I wasn't alone and there was a community for both fetishes separately and together.

So... I dunno, I may be a little different regarding your theory. The tickling fetish came in a little after knowing I had a thing for feet, so I guess it acted as a gateway of sorts?

 

[Critical Kai]

Best thread

 

[erraticemphatic]

The tickling fetish came in a little after knowing I had a thing for feet, so I guess it acted as a gateway of sorts?

Same experience, SorcererLance. The way you've phrased your post has led me to the thought that maybe the interest in tickling arises because it is a way to stimulate what is already an object of sexual attention, at least in cases like ours. Typical objects of sexual attention are already incredibly errogenous; we need some additional rigging, usually, if you see what I mean.

 

[Sorcerer Lance]

Same experience, SorcererLance. The way you've phrased your post has led me to the thought that maybe the interest in tickling arises because it is a way to stimulate what is already an object of sexual attention, at least in cases like ours. Typical objects of sexual attention are already incredibly errogenous; we need some additional rigging, usually, if you see what I mean.

Precisely. I do love tickling, don't get me wrong. But when I come across videos or pictures of having the upper-body exclusively being tickled, I personally always felt like something's missing...

Watching the feet wiggle and squirm helplessly is an odd delight to see when they're the target of a good tickle... I kinda like to compare toe-wiggling with boob jiggling; mesmerizing as hell.

 

[DarthGrinn]

"Sheltered" could be too strong an adjective that could risk skewing any discussion on the matter. I see it as a nominal fallacy; which is basically the act of "explaining away" an argument by using an adjective, which causes people to make certain assumptions that could lead to a false conclusion. In the case of this discussion, in order to comment I would have to make a few assumptions (here are a few I caught):

1. By not drinking/doing drugs/having sex, one has no valid life experiences, and hence has very little actual value to the community. In other words, one feels that they have to have experienced these things in order to be taken seriously

2. That the only way to gain worldly experience and sophistication, is to have sex, drink and do drugs

3. That being "sheltered" (whatever that means in this case) is a negative thing

I dunno... Here's a thought:

Is it possible for a person to live their adulthood having not drunk, had sex or smoked (or any other action that one would consider "taboo") and yet be considered worldly? What if a person made a conscious effort to, for instance, avoid sex until they married? Why should such a person be taken any less seriously than a person who has had sex?

Now, what if that person enjoyed tickling?

I personally see no relation between the two.

On the other hand, I do find a correlation between online communities, and the social lethargy that is quite common to observe in people we meet online. It's easy to just stay at home, if there is no real motivation to go out. After all, why go outside when I can make friends online, have relationships online and engage in tickle-fight roleplays (or whatever else happens to float my boat)? So, perhaps this social lethargy, which could lead to a sheltered life-style, is really a result of online communities in general. It just so happens that we are observing this in a community that centers around a specific set of kinks (tickling, foot fetishism, bondage etc etc.)

 

[OSUchamps]

I dunno... Here's a thought:

Is it possible for a person to live their adulthood having not drunk, had sex or smoked (or any other action that one would consider "taboo") and yet be considered worldly? What if a person made a conscious effort to, for instance, avoid sex until they married? Why should such a person be taken any less seriously than a person who has had sex?

Now, what if that person enjoyed tickling?

I personally see no relation between the two.

I would be this person. My childhood and teenage years aren't what you'd call "sheltered" in the least: my parents never decried sex as something "evil" or "wrong", my father enjoyed a couple of beers like every other guy, and lots of people in my family smoked. No one ever really disciplined me or laid any guilt trips on me regarding any of these (what one would consider) worldly vices.

I didn't have sex until I was in a committed, loving, and long lasting relationship that eventually developed into marriage because the risk of pregnancy with someone that I wasn't sure I would spend the rest of my life with was simply too high for me. Friends of mine got caught in that trap in college, and they're miserable. I wouldn't say that I made the wrong decision at all.

I enjoy a drink socially now that I'm working and married, but I chose not to drink during my high school or college years because getting an education was more important to me than partying. I worked too hard for every scholarship I earned to throw it all away. Again, I have a few friends who didn't share my outlook. They may have gotten a more "worldly" experience than I, but they're also thirty and still work their old part time jobs at the local retail office supply store or grocery store, same as in high school and college. Again, I wouldn't say that I made the wrong decision at all.

In terms of smoking, I have not and will not smoke. It has never been rammed into my head that smoking is bad--again, my family members smoke like chimneys. But many of them have also died from cancer, or have contracted dementia where there was no history of it ever occurring in our family before, or have contracted P.A.D. and died suddenly and tragically at a relatively young age. I'm not a doctor, but I would suspect that smoking didn't exactly add years to their lives, nor alleviated their suffering.

So, I'm someone who has a tickling fetish and was never sheltered--but I learned from other people's mistakes. In my case especially, I would consider Violetta's initial hypothesis to be unfounded.

 

[U.N.Owen]

I think a lot of us "discovered" tickling long before we had a chance to be sheltered or not. I was fascinated by the idea of tickling girls by the time I was 4 years old, and it was totally fixed in my mind well before puberty. True, I wasn't out having wild sexual encounters in those days... but still, I wouldn't call that "sheltered" for someone under 10.

So no... even though my personal tastes are what some might consider "sheltered" (I don't believe in casual sex, don't do one night stands or quickie relationships, drink very moderately, don't smoke, never did drugs and never will), my tickling taste was there long before I was old enough to make those choices.

 

[RangerLoki]

Owen has a good point. While on the other hand I can drink like a fish sometimes and am open to certain drugs, I was hooked before I developed into my personality.
Then again, I'm not much of a shut in, anyway.

 

[heretichero666]

I'll be honest. I agree full heartidly. I know that my own fetishes and fantasies are the result of my sheltered upbringing.

I was raised by a Catholic family so sex was a big taboo alongside homosexuality, divorce, pro-choice, superstition, and all the other things that Catholics are notorious for being against. Being adopted from South America, having a disability which I am not going to share on here unless asked privately, being the only Latino in an all white family, and suffering horrendous bullying at the hands of people who claimed to be "good Christians" I naturally rebelled against what was being taught to me because I knew that what was being taught to me was hypocritical; how could all these values be true when my life experiences showed me that the Church and its teachings did not make people like me welcome?

But some things really did sink in and my parents were sure to make sure it got in especially things relating to sex. I was afraid for the longest time that the moment I slept with a woman, even if she was a virgin like me, we would both be marked for life to have sex with no one else and the moment we did we would instantly pick up some sort of STD, HIV, or AIDS. But then when I turned 20, when I found a girl who I truly believed I was in love with, we had sex and I found myself in an emotional wreck before we even started because the taboo feeling scared me so much I cried. I didn't want to ruin it for her but I couldn't sake the feeling that what I was doing was wrong.

Eventually we did it and it became a very happy and emotional experience as I had been taught and I really did feel like it was the ultimate display of my love for the girl I was with. But then sex became a bigger part of our relationship with her wanting it more than I was comfortable giving it since I still felt, and still to this day believe, that sex is a very intimate thing that must be saved and cherished as the ultimate display of love. With that, sex became less emotional between us and she began to get annoyed by my tickle/foot fetish fantasizes which really complicated sex because for the longest time those were the only things I had used to turn myself on. Yes, I got into the "normal" turn-ons in sex fairly quickly but I always held back in my excitement and thrusts out of fear of getting her pregnant.

I didn't use protection, I just can't do it with the feeling of a condom on, and because of that I purposely held back so we wouldn't have to worry about the pregnancy issue which pissed her off because she felt I had no passion in making love. Eventually it complicated our relationship and lead to our break up. In the end I realized that all the things my parents and teachers at the various Catholic schools I attended were right: sex was supposed to wait till marriage because the complications of it effected the commitment in the relationship. I don't know if things would have been different if we were a married couple, but I've to this day decided that I'm not sleeping with anyone again until I know for sure that what we feel between one another is real.

I still have my foot fetish and I still enjoy all the things that come with it. Tickling, foot worship, all that stuff is still a turn on for me and the "normal" turn-ons still work for me from time to time but I don't think about them as often since I don't want to turn out to be one of those typical porn addict cases who focuses so much on the sexual pleasure and physical attributes of a woman that he only ends up objectifying women in general and can't perform well sexually because of hightened expectations based on what he sees/watches/things about with/in porn. The same argument can probably be made about foot fetish material, but for now its just the thing I enjoy when I can.

Take it as you will but I honestly can't enjoy my fetish unless the person I'm partaking it with enjoys it too. Yes, I do enjoy all the tickle torture art and stories on here and the various other mediums alongside all the foot worship and footjob pieces but for me it just seems like a temporary thing. Its not real and its not the same experience as what I had that was real and intimate. I don't want my partner to be uncomfortable or feel like I've forced this fetish on her; I want her to enjoy it as much as I do.

After a long life in a social nightmare, I want my fetish and any other sexual actions/activities that I take part in with a girl to be intimate and an expression of my love. When I tickle her, I want her laughter to be out of enjoyment of the moment, not torture that I'm forcing her to endure. When I worship her feet or massage them, I want her to know that I'm doing it as an expression of my care for her. And as all the foot pampering etc builds up turning me on, I want what we do from there to be intimate with her knowing "I love you".

Having this fetish has really made me think about myself and my values as well as reflect on my own psychological state of being but my hope is that whatever it is that's in me will be applicable to the rest of my life in which I can apply in my future relationships. I really wish that there were more people, females especially, who were more open minded to this. What is so wrong with a man who would willingly get down on his knees, rub his girl's feet after a long day, then if she's comfortable with it kiss and lick her feet to please her as a way to express his care for her because he's too shy or bad with words to state how much she means to him?