Is it a little rude to be early?

[BellaRisa]

We've all been taught that being late is rude, or at least unthoughtful...but is it kinda rude to be early? I've had a few friends/aquaintances (and I still DO) who would show up anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour before they were supposed to be at my place, and frankly it drives me crazy; I'm the type that needs 'all' of my time, especially after work since I work at home, to get myself ready and straighten the house and all of that. I HATE having someone show up while I still have Legos and PlayDoh everywhere and and no eyebrows . It just happened a moment ago, friends were supposed to drop off their child for a playdate; they called and said they'd be about 30 minutes late, then showed up 10 minutes before the original time, making them 40 minutes early; I was just about to step into the shower when the doorbell rang and had to greet them in my robe. They said they'd eaten lunch much faster than they'd anticipated. Um, alrighty then .

Now I'm honestly asking, because I know I can be a bit...prickly . Is being early a little rude, or is it up to a host to expect early arrivals and be ready way earlier than the time planned for?

 

[WorkInProgress]

It's an unintentional imposition; they're not doing exactly the right thing, but they mean well.

 

[Cy/MiG]

We've all been taught that being late is rude, or at least unthoughtful...but is it kinda rude to be early?

...

Is being early a little rude, or is it up to a host to expect early arrivals and be ready way earlier than the time planned for?

No.

Unless you show up early when there's 'work to be done' and you sit and watch (whilst bitching/talking).

That's rude.

 

[BlackestLily]

Well I suppose it depends on the situation. I would be pretty upset if friends showed up early to a dinner date I had set. If they came 40 minutes early, dinner wouldn't be done, I would be trying to finish in the kitchen and do last minute cleaning, and feel obligated to entertain them because they are, after all, guests. This HAS happened before and they complained that they were hungry and periodically asked when dinner would be done. Well...when I said it would.

If, though, we planned on meeting at someone's house to go to a movie, I would much rather they be early. If they hit unplanned things like a train they have to stop for, that could cause lateness and possibly missing the beginning of the movie. And boy do I hate that.

 

[InspectorJapp]

When I was about 8 or 9, my family and I were going to a dinnerparty, and arrived about 10 or 15 minutes early.
Slightly awkward when we saw that the hostess was standing in the livingroom (god knows why) putting on her wig as we came in.

 

[Helena]

That's the question, isn't it? Is it rude to be early? Hmmm.
I'm usually on the guest side of things because my apartment doesn't really accomodate a crowd.

I have been the first to arrive once in a while for a party, and been early if I'm going to see a friend. I've also arrived late to things. I've found that certain peple don't mind either way, some people hate waiting on me, and some are never ready on time. I don't think any of these are wrong. It's just a matter of personal taste.

In the scenario that you described with the playdate, it sounds like they tried to be polite by telling you they were running late. Somehow, they misjudged their arrival time. Being caught in your bathrobe is never fun. It doesn't sound like they deliberately tried to be inconsiderate. Hope the playdate went well.

 

[Excess]

Eh, not really. But then it depends on the circumstances involved too. Obviously if someone has to drive a distance and gets there early then it's fine since they wanted to give themselves enough time not to be late. But then if someone lives right next door to you and comes over 15 minutes early, then yeah, unnecessary.

 

[Bugman]

Well I suppose it depends on the situation. I would be pretty upset if friends showed up early to a dinner date I had set. If they came 40 minutes early, dinner wouldn't be done, I would be trying to finish in the kitchen and do last minute cleaning, and feel obligated to entertain them because they are, after all, guests. This HAS happened before and they complained that they were hungry and periodically asked when dinner would be done. Well...when I said it would.

Now that is rude,boorish behavior on their part.

 

[Swizzle Stick!]

If we're ever super early for anything I like to call ahead and ask if there's anything I can bring or something I can do to help out. I don't think its rude but it does make it awkward.

 

[Mister Scruff]

We've all been taught that being late is rude, or at least unthoughtful...but is it kinda rude to be early?

I think so; to be honest I think it's a bit rude to show up early OR late without phoning first to let people know, unless it's a party or something in which case showing up late is, like, the "done thing", or so I'm led to believe. Whilst you do seem a bit, I dunno... OCD? Yeah, that'll do; you seem slightly OCD about your time management and whatnot but you do have a point; it wouldn't have killed your friends to ring and let you know they were on their way if they'd eaten dinner faster than they thought. Or maybe they did it deliberately to catch you in a towel?

Also can you please change your sig pic as I find it terribly distracting xP

 

[BlackestLily]

Now that is rude,boorish behavior on their part.

Well....they aren't the most tactful friends I have...but they are good people. So I take them as they are.

They are also notorious for asking me when I want them to show up for dinner. When I say, oh, 4 or 5 pm, they reply with, "That late?! Don't you want us there earlier so we can play some video games?" Then progressively call every hour on the hour and ask what the time was again and if I'm ready yet. It's all a little weird.

 

[Bugman]

Well....they aren't the most tactful friends I have...but they are good people. So I take them as they are.

They are also notorious for asking me when I want them to show up for dinner. When I say, oh, 4 or 5 pm, they reply with, "That late?! Don't you want us there earlier so we can play some video games?" Then progressively call every hour on the hour and ask what the time was again and if I'm ready yet. It's all a little weird.

I'll stand by my original statement after reading this.Some people just can't take a hint. I will say you are nice for putting up with it.

 

[BellaRisa]

But then if someone lives right next door to you and comes over 15 minutes early, then yeah, unnecessary.

They live in my neighborhood about 45 seconds away. That's part of why I was annoyed; living that close, calling to say you'll be 30 minutes late and then showing up even earlier than the original time? Uh, yeah

 

[BellaRisa]

can you please change your sig pic as I find it terribly distracting xP

Sorry, my OCD won't allow it

 

[Mister Scruff]

Sorry, my OCD won't allow it

What if I told you it was dirty, would your OCD force you to clean it up?

Seriously though, 45 seconds down the street? The more I hear the more I become convinced that they DID do it just to catch you in a towel :-o

 

[Musicroxmysox]

I think it's rude if it's a considerable amount early. 5 minutes fine, but 10 or 15 or more then it feels rude. When asked somewhere and told a certain time that is the time the host or hostess are expecting people. Most likely they are not prepared for someone who decides to come a half hour or more early.

I guess it also depends on the situation though....

 

[Iris]

according to some etiquette books... it is a bit rude to show up early to a dinner or cocktail party or something of that nature... usually the host or hostess needs the last 10 or 15 minutes to do a last minute walk around and take a deep breath and relax..before guests start arriving.......

 

[Artoo]

I'm often late, as tends to be the family tradition. However I'm not a huge fan of being early for things, I feel like I'm being overeager.
I also think, in certain circumstances, being early is rude to the host (just as being late is rude to the host).

 

[punkrockergirl]

if im hosting a party or a dinner or whatever i guess id rather have people be early than late.. so no i dont think its rude

 

[BostonTickling]

I feel the exact same way. I take every last minute to get ready and if people show up early it's like "What the hell? I'm not ready for you, go away!" I'd actually rather people be late.

 

[TMF Jeff]

I tend to be exactly on time, and I have no idea how I do that.

I think being early is probably an attempt to not be late, but that said I could consider fifteen minutes the absolute outer limit of how early it's ok to be. If I was fifteen minutes early or more for something, I would probably get a cup of coffee on the way.

 

[BellaRisa]

I take every last minute to get ready and if people show up early it's like "What the hell? I'm not ready for you, go away!" I'd actually rather people be late.

LOL! I'm not proud of it but that is sooo me; I always seem to find eleventeen little things that still need to be done before people show up, plus I have 3 other humans to have ready...moms are like magicians and we do NOT want you to see us stuffing the doves up into our sleeves dammit

 

[Strider]

My general view is that 10 minutes or so either way is acceptable, here in Los Angeles, there's a tendency to misjudge traffic.

 

[CrystalLight]

I've been taught to always be early. I've had friends who have been really early to get to my place or really late.

I just try to make sure that if I'm getting ready to go out or entertain that I have everything laid out or I have something out that they can do to appease themselves. Usually put some random movie on and if they come early, they can just sit and watch it while I finish up.

 

[..Glamorous..]

I personally think that it wouldn't bother me if people were early. However, if they were more than 2 minutes late I would be freakin furious.