Is tickling cheating?

[jd58]

Not sure if this as been talked about much here but if you find and arrange tickle sessions with someone
other than your spouse or partner and them not knowing are you cheating?
If you have done this did you have any guilt feelings about it?

 

[maniactickler]

Id say a milder form of cheating.

 

[TheyCallMeBro]

It depends on the relationship the people are in. In my experience, there have been married men who were open to the fact that another guy was tying up and teasing his wife for hours...there are a lot of married men that don't tolerate that kind of behavior at all. It all depends on the openness of the relationship.

 

[Brattysub5]

I agree with Maniactickler!!! I personally will not play with anyone who is married or has a girlfriend, especially if the play partners significant other dies not know.

 

[Amanda Cortez]

Aww, i think it's no cheating. As long as my privates doesn't get touched. Lol, many of my friends tickle me. Haha, but only at my sides and my feet and mostly in a playfully way. So I think this wouldn't be cheating. ^_^

 

[areenactor]

if it's done right, then hell yes it's cheating! lol

steve

 

[usgrant]

If you are too scared shitless to ask your significant other if it 's cheating, then of course it's cheating!

 

[robmic]

If you are too scared shitless to ask your significant other if it 's cheating, then of course it's cheating!

^^^^^That wraps it up in a nutshell!!!

 

[Anastasia88]

I think if you feel guilty or have issues with someone else other than your SO then it definitely could pose a problem in the relationship, especially if your partner would get jealous or be mad. You just have to be honest with yourself & your partner. If you choose to do it anyway, then you need to be ok with your decision.

I don't think the act of tickling is wrong but I know where it often leads so in that case your decision should be based on the potential outcome - SEX!

~Anastasia

 

[tickledorange]

If the other person doesn't know about it, but they should know, then it's cheating.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

Whether it's cheating or not, I suppose is up for some debate because different people have different views on what cheating is. It's really up to the two people in the relationship to decide on what constitutes "cheating". That being said, if you feel the need to sneak around and hide said encounters from your partner, then while it might not be cheating, it is certainly something you believe your SO would not understand/appreciate, which means that you should probably sit down and talk to your SO about the problems you are having before you start seeking somebody from outside of your relationship.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I don't consider it 'cheating' as such. I think it depends on how open your partner is about kinky activities, but I would personally feel like I was betraying their trust in some way, and thats never a good thing in a relationship.

 

[Desparting297]

Depends on the kink, situation and the intentions of the session. It's as if for example, would it be cheating if your friend was to hold you down and playfully tickle you then would that mean you've cheated on your spouse? I doubt it. But if the tickle session was to lead to it becoming sexual, involving inappropriate touching and sensual foreplay to the point of intercourse and you willingly go for it knowing you're spoken for then you have a problem of cheating whilst you're in a relationship or married. So you ask yourself, is this a good idea? Stop and think of what your actions would be before making a final decision. It wouldn't be a very recommendable one in this case.

 

[Flatfoot]

It all depends on the couple's terms. In my marriage, tickling is woven into my sexuality, and we're monogamous, so we agreed that outside play is a no-go. However, I know of couples on here who are more open with their sexuality, or they just enjoy play without sexual feelings attached, and don't think twice about incorporating others into play, because they're cool with it.

 

[LBFT]

Whether it's cheating or not, I suppose is up for some debate because different people have different views on what cheating is. It's really up to the two people in the relationship to decide on what constitutes "cheating". That being said, if you feel the need to sneak around and hide said encounters from your partner, then while it might not be cheating, it is certainly something you believe your SO would not understand/appreciate, which means that you should probably sit down and talk to your SO about the problems you are having before you start seeking somebody from outside of your relationship.

This is a very good question. I agree with Cosmo_ac, some may think this is not cheating but if your are hiding things from the other person in your relationship there may be other issuses you need to talk about. Or look into.

LBFT

 

[rhiannon]

Everybody has a different feeling of what is cheating and what isn't. Some people think it's already cheating when you look at someone else, others are fine with it if you have sex with someone else as long as you're honest about it. What really counts is what your SO thinks, because if they consider what you do cheating, they are the ones to decide the consequences. If you have to keep something secret from your SO, I'd say chances are good they would consider it cheating.

 

[TigerChick22]

I haven't read through all of this, so I don't know if it's been said, but I think cheating is all about your intentions.

If you honestly feel bad about what you are going to do, or know that your s.o. wouldn't be happy with it, it's probably cheating. Was it cheating when my friend would randomly tickle my feet at parties? No. Would it have been cheating if i would call him up at night and ask him to tickle my feet to satisfy me? Probably...

Tickling is one of those things that can be innocent for most people, but then for some people, some times it is on the same level as sex. That distinction needs to be made before you can count it as cheating or not.

 

[smokinj]

It's not cheating unless it leads to sex. If there were bondage involved then its more of a grey area.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Exploding the myths about tickle cheating

The first myth I'm going to tackle is the idea that if you feel guilty over an indulgence of tickling (or being tickled) outside of your significant relationship, it's cheating, or it's "probably cheating." It seems like many have decided that feelings of guilt and shame are the litmus test for cheating. If you feel guilty about it, then it's cheating!

But wouldn't that kind of thinking suggest that if you are comfortable with it, it must not be cheating?

"Dude! I totally got tickled last night by Sarita! Man, she got me so bad I almost passed out."

"Dude, that's awesome! Does your girl Savannah know about this?"

"Hellll no."

"Well isn't that....well....cheating?"

"No, my brother. See, if I felt guilty about it, well then it would be cheating."

"I gotcha. And you don't feel guilty, I take it?"

"No man, I'm totally cool with it. I am guilt free, my brother. And that means it's not cheating."

"Are you sure? How do you know this for certain?"

"Dude, I read it on the TMF."

"Well all right, then!"​

The fact is, cheating has nothing to do with feelings of guilt or shame. It has to do with whether of not you've violated the established rules of conduct. For example, many people feel no guilt or shame whatsoever about cheating on their income taxes. But if they've falsified any of their claim, they've still cheated, regardless of how they feel. If married Jared decides to pour the coal to Genevieve on the conference room table after work, and feels absolutely no shame, guilt, or remorse about it, it's still adultery, is it not?

Cheating can only happen when a set of rules is established in some way, either by a governing body, or by mutual agreement. In the case of tickling, if there is no mutual agreement made, there can be no cheating. It's that simple.

I will agree however that if you feel bad about tickling outside your significant relationship, you have the option to talk it out with your significant other, to explain that this is a big part of who you are and that it won't impact our relationship but in fact will strengthen it...

...then hope like hell she buys it.

The second myth we often hear about cheating by tickling is that only the significant other can decide whether or not it's cheating. This one comes close to pegging the ludicrosity meter. It doesn't matter whether you think tickling is cheating. It ONLY matters what your significant other thinks!. By this way of thinking, your SO has total say-so over all your behavior. (S)He can decide that even talking to another (wo)man is cheating. If (s)he decides that leaving the toilet seat up is cheating, then by golly you'd better damn well make sure to put that seat down or get ready to talk to a divorce lawyer.

I know it's hard to believe, but I've actually seen this argument being made in more than one previous thread on this topic.

Once again, cheating can't happen unless there is a mutual agreement. That means both partners must reach a consensus that tickling outside the relationship is unacceptable. If the bylaws of cheating are left strictly to the significant other, that's not a relationship. It's a dictatorship.

 

[Dandy Jack]

Tickling can be considered foreplay It can be considered cheating. It can be considered simply fun.

How it is treated in a relationship is based upon the facts and how the people in that relationship work.

Tickling is a fetish that must be fed!

Dandy Jack!

 

[CaptainValiant]

I wouldn't call it cheating, but it's certainly

 

[mopug]

I think if you had session with someone other than your partner without telling your partner, that may be cheating. I've never had a session with someone else without asking my partner if she was ok with it and luckily for me, she has been ok with it.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Depends on the kink, situation and the intentions of the session. It's as if for example, would it be cheating if your friend was to hold you down and playfully tickle you then would that mean you've cheated on your spouse? I doubt it. But if the tickle session was to lead to it becoming sexual, involving inappropriate touching and sensual foreplay to the point of intercourse and you willingly go for it knowing you're spoken for then you have a problem of cheating whilst you're in a relationship or married. So you ask yourself, is this a good idea? Stop and think of what your actions would be before making a final decision. It wouldn't be a very recommendable one in this case.

This is how I feel as well

 

[-Hari-]

The situation described in the op? Yes, it's cheating, and if there's no feelings of guilt after doing such a thing then that's a serious problem in terms of the trust that's supposed to come with a relationship and slightly sociopathic.

It's not cheating if your partner knows and is perfectly fine with it. A relationship is based on trust and honesty no matter what the mutual agreement is. You can have sex with someone else if your partner knows and is ok with it, that's not cheating.

If you're going to do something with someone else sneakily behind your partners back then it's almost always going to be cheating.

Rule of thumb is if you find yourself saying "Is it cheating if....." then the answer is probably yes

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

The situation described in the op? Yes, it's cheating, and if there's no feelings of guilt after doing such a thing then that's a serious problem in terms of the trust that's supposed to come with a relationship and slightly sociopathic.

You speak of relationships as though they are standard and defined. That's nowhere near accurate. Even with regards to sex, there is a wide range of disparity to be found. Some relationships are open, where both partners encourage the other to have at it, if the opportunity arises. Other relationships frown on even entertaining so much as a fantasy in one's imagination. And of course there are any number of relationships that fall in various places in between those two extremes.

If there has been no synching up between the partners as to where on this spectrum their relationship sits, there's no reference point to determine if a violation has occurred. There's been no opportunity to say, "Honey, I'm trusting you not to do a, b, c, or d. So if the nature of the trust hasn't been defined, how can there be trust issues?

It's not cheating if your partner knows and is perfectly fine with it.

True, as long as there has never been any agreement to refrain from the activity, whatever it is.

A relationship is based on trust and honesty no matter what the mutual agreement is.

Correct. A relationship is based on trust and honesty. But that trust and honesty is predicated on keeping to the terms of the mutual agreement, whatever that agreement happens to be.

You can have sex with someone else if your partner knows and is ok with it, that's not cheating.

Not necessarily. Even if your partner decides to be okay with it, it's still cheating if you've made a prior agreement that sex with somebody else is off the table. You've "committed the crime," so to speak. You just got lucky that the plaintiff decided not to prosecute.

If you're going to do something with someone else sneakily behind your partners back then it's almost always going to be cheating.

Like playing golf? Like secretly taking the day off work and spending it at a health spa? Is that "cheating?"

The problem with this line of thinking is that it suggests that you are obligated to tell your partner everything that you do. Otherwise you're doing it "sneakily behind your partner's back". Now some people do tell their partners everything they do, and that's fine. But to suggest that's the requirement of any relationship is pretty unreasonable. I know my lady doesn't want to hear about everything I do.

Rule of thumb is if you find yourself saying "Is it cheating if....." then the answer is probably yes

LOL. If only it were that easy. Then you could do anything you want by simply never asking yourself that question. A better rule of thumb is if you've agreed not to do something, and you do it anyway, it's cheating. Otherwise, it's not.