Is tickling cheating?

[sydney-buddy]

Having possessed this fetish for countless years now its enabled me to meet some very interesting people on the way.
About 2 weeks i randomly pumped into an old play mate, i haven't seen or heard from this girl in 4 years but she was still the same bubbly and full of life girl i remembered. We use to share many tickle related experiences in the past as she also possessed the fetish.
Upon finishing a quick 5-10 minute catch up conversation (both on our way to work) she hugged me and quickly tickled my sides. Which set me off all day and got me thinking....Im in a committed and blissful relationship, but would tickling another person be cheating?
I wanted to throw it out to the valued opinions on this forum. Now obviously a short 3-4 second tickle like that in public would not be grounds for cheating, but if someone with a tickle fetish was to intentionally tickle another person whether it be in a sexual context or not, is that grounds for cheating? Or do many different factors need to be considered (time/place/unsuspecting victim etc)


Y'all have the floor

Peace

 

[OscarTheMonkey]

Anything involving sexual gratification in contact with live person you are doing without your significant others consent is cheating. That's why I prefer just to ask...and include...

 

[sydney-buddy]

Anything involving sexual gratification in contact with live person you are doing without your significant others consent is cheating. That's why I prefer just to ask...and include...

Definitely have to agree. When pondering it i merely thought of my partners reaction to it. There will be plenty of people who would disagree and say if there is no intercourse or genital stimulation then it is not cheating though.

 

[tickling=feet]

Unless tickling her isnt going to change your body i would have to agree.

 

[Libertine]

If the other person in your relationship feels cheated upon, I'm afraid so. This is one of those situations where it's not your call.

 

[Coda]

Everyone can design their own relationships, so this kind of question is specific to you and your partner. If you're not sure, then it's possible the specifics of your commitment to each other isn't clearly-enough defined. The first thing you should do is bring all this up to your partner and ask them about it –*and let them ask you about it. If you really aren't sure, then it's more important at this point that you're willing to be honest with each other and work it out together. Even if neither of you ever has any interaction with any other person, it's still better to know, lucidly, what you both think about it –*know how you'd feel in every possible situation that could arise.

 

[marcusb]

Think of it this way, are you keeping this activity a secret from your current partner? Would current partner be upset to hear about what you were doing with former partner (or random person)? Would they approve?

 

[milagros317]

For me, yes, it would be cheating, since tickling is sexual to me.
But, fortunately, Goddess Shelly allows me to cheat, at gatherings such as NEST, as long as she knows about it and gives permission in advance.

 

[Myriads]

Your question is very difficult to answer with the information offered.

Every couple defines what is cheating in a different way, based, most often on what they define as 'intimacy'. For the great majority of people sex falls into that definition. It's an intimate act that the partners feel should be reserved for each other, and thus the fireworks and problems when one steps outside the relationship to share intimacy.

So in your case, the question becomes, If your partner knows what tickling means to you, does she consider it a reserved aspect of the intimacy of your relationship? If yes, you are cheating. If no, then not.

Myriads

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

It's not that complicated. Cheating involves the breaking of agreed-upon rules. If you've made an agreement with your lady not to tickle or get tickled by other women, then I'm afraid you're screwed. You have limited the scope of your tickling to one person for the duration of your relationship. However, if no such agreement is reached, you are golden. It can't be cheating because no rules of conduct have been established.

Tickle fetishists have a special advantage. They can indulge their fetish with those outside the relationship and maintain total honesty and fidelity. All they have to do is refrain from any sexual contact or romance. You can virtually have your cake and eat it, too.

However, you must also examine your own standards. If you would consider it cheating for your wife to tickle or be tickled by other men, then you certainly can't claim that it isn't cheating for you to do it.

 

[TKLVR18]

I'm going to echo what I'm glad to see has been the majority reply here--it's relationship specific. I do things in roleplay online with friends that have, in the past, gotten me accused of some very nasty things--the difference is my husband not only knows all about them but actively enjoys hearing about them (I do love being married to a voyeur ).

The question then becomes what are your, and importantly her, standards. If you haven't spoken to her about what she considers cheating, now's a great time. Honesty I think in this case is the best policy--you've been thinking about tickling with other people, not with the intention to do so but out of curiosity, and want to know how she'd feel about it because you don't want to overstep boundaries.

BTW I applaud you for caring about that so much. A lot of people would say "ah I'm not going to do it, it's not worth worrying about"--and that kind of thinking is how relationships get into trouble. So good on you for wanting to get in ahead of that!

~K

 

[Cosmo_ac]

A lot of good answers here. To be honest, it is a somewhat personal question, as what constitutes cheating varies. IMHO, it isn't what you think equals cheating, but what your SO thinks is cheating, because in the end, they are the ones who you have to live with. If you do something you don't think is cheating, but they do, your going to have a tough sell on your hands. Doesn't matter if you feel you are in the right, because they have the choice of what level they engage you in life.

 

[Aeveirra]

Ehh... That's tricky. It depends on how each person views it. Playful tickles here and there is one thing, but prolonged tickling would be very close to 'cheating'. At least for me it would be, like I get WAYY too turned on when I'm tickled so only my boyfiriend should do it to me.
Tickling could be one of those innocent type of bonding things, but if one or more person has a tickling fetish then it's probably best to not do it to others.

 

[arachnid95]

I don't think there's a hard and fast answer to this. The best advice I can think of is to talk to your girlfriend about it. If she's okay with you tickling someone else, then go right ahead. Push comes to shove, if you absolutely have to tickle this old playmate, try including your girlfriend in it--see if she'd be interested in double-teaming her with you, or if she'd like to be on the receiving end right alongside her.

 

[sman9000]

Good response. I agree with arachnid95

 

[maniactickler]

I think its a milder form of cheating.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Well since tickling is a "hands on" experience. I would say replace it with rubbing or massaging another person's body. It would probably put you into the doghouse. In other words, if you are hiding it from them..yes it cheating.

 

[bestmed]

I'd say if it's arousing then it is cheating. If it's nothing you wouldn't do with a friend or family then it's not.

If you would not want your GF/BF to know then that should give you your answer.

 

[laughinggaszone]

I think it depends on the POV of your significant other. I once knew someone whose girlfriend went on a trip to Europe. While she was away, he masturbated and she found out and was very upset. She considered it cheating. That is an extreme, to be sure, but it goes to show that people can be all over the map. Some people consider online sex cheating. Some don't. I think if you are seeking sexual gratification from another person (no matter what form it takes) and not simple pornography(though I'm sure you can find someone who thinks porn is cheating), you owe it to your partner to get their ok.

 

[BBGuy5240]

It could be viewed as cheating. Especially if your significant other knows it sexually arouses you.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I think it depends on the POV of your significant other. I once knew someone whose girlfriend went on a trip to Europe. While she was away, he masturbated and she found out and was very upset. She considered it cheating. That is an extreme, to be sure, but it goes to show that people can be all over the map. Some people consider online sex cheating. Some don't. I think if you are seeking sexual gratification from another person (no matter what form it takes) and not simple pornography(though I'm sure you can find someone who thinks porn is cheating), you owe it to your partner to get their ok.

I agree with this. My ex-girlfriend used to get tickled once in awhile by one of her guy friends. It didn't bother me because I knew him and he became my friend as well. So as long as it didn't make her uncomfortable where I had to tell him back off it didn't bother me. Now if she was sneaking to see him behind my back or he did it in secret then I would feel a reason to be suspicious.

 

[ticklemepls]

Someone really should keep a tally of how many times this same post comes up in a year.

If you're "blissful" you shouldn't have to go outside your relationship for anything- but that's my opinion. Try it this way:

If you're in an open relationship where you have COMMUNICATED AND AGREED on the terms of seeing/playing with others- no
If you're having to purposely withhold information, lie, or deceit in anyway- yes.
If you know it'll upset your blissfully wonderful gf- yes
If you have not communicated having play outside your relationship- yes.

 

[MrChippiesTMF]

Personally i dont view it as cheating (but then i live in a very black and white Aspie world) since I dont view it in a sexual way. Tickling sessions for me outside of relationships is pretty much a very fun contact sport.

 

[ElFewja]

It mostly just comes down to what the other person says is or is not cheating. They decide what violates them. So, you know, communicate. Nobody else can really tell you how your relationship works.

 

[laughinggaszone]

Tickle fetishists have a special advantage. They can indulge their fetish with those outside the relationship and maintain total honesty and fidelity. All they have to do is refrain from any sexual contact or romance. You can virtually have your cake and eat it, too.

I think that is a bit dishonest. If tickling alone brings sexual gratification, then YOU know what the fetish does for you. The fact that you have not disclosed that to your significant other does not absolve you of the fact that you are seeking sexual gratification elsewhere. It's kinda like telling your partner that you don't look at porn, but you don't mention having a bra fetish and so she thinks nothing of your collection of Sears Catalogs. Technically, it's not porn, but to a bra or lingerie fetish person, it certainly can be used as porn. I think that trying to skirt around the truth so you can indulge in your fantasies is no better than outright lying. The ethical gymnastics some people can achieve is often astounding.