What really happened
A friend and I were headed back home on I-15 South after racing our bikes up Palomar Mountain on a Sunday. I-15 is a large freeway and has about 8 lanes of traffic each way about that area. Being a Sunday afternoon traffic was fairly light and cars were spread out a bit. That freeway is wide open and we were in the rural part of it so speeds run a little higher than normal, about 75 mph and we being on bikes, you can tack on another 10 mph.
We were travelling in the fourth lane and the car with the feet out the window was in the fast lane. As my friend and I were coming up on that car, I drifted over that way with the thought of grabbing the toes to startle them. By the way, they had socks on them. Anyway, I realized the feet were a males and he was in the back seat with the feet out the passenger window near the passengers head.
I was not going to do it and then the passenger saw my coming close and looking. I pointed at the feet and she smiled and nodded then I made a tickling motion with my hand and she nodded really fast. Since I figured the foot person wouldn't be mad after that, I paced along side the car at 80 mph and had just started to reach for the feet and I took a quick glance forward and was surprised to see the rear end of a Mercedes. I quickly grabbed the front brake but it was too late.
It was a very scary feeling because I remember a very hard hit to my right shoulder and helmet and I immediately thought to myself Oh noo, I must have hit the car. It was in slow motion for a while as the next pain was at my left ankle and lower leg. Next was right shoulder and helmet then left ankle and that was the pattern for about 7 or 8 revolutions. I was realizing I was cartwheeling and after each hit on my upper body, I could hear the HMPFFF come out of me and thought, "Get ready for the ankle pain!"
After the ankle pain, I thought,"Brace for the shoulder pain"
At some point, I thought to myself, "Am I ever going to stop??"
When I realized I wasn't tumbling anymore and I was sliding in circles. I was relieved that I wasn't going to take anymore hits where I had been hitting already.
I am sure you all must be thinking about the traffic by now. I still remember the moment that I stopped and in my head I was calm and still in slow motion mode and my next thoughts were, " Well, I hurt real bad but after the traffic runs me over it will be gone soon."
My next thought was a strange one because I remember thinking that I wanted to look up real quick to see which car was going to kill me. I have no idea why.
I stii have to laugh at my reaction when I looked up because I even said aloud in my helmet, "Whoa, that looks cool."
What looked cool was this wall of cars perfectly lined up in each lane as if at a stop light. They were about 100 feet back but I could see the shock in their faces and mouths open and wide eyes. That image is burned into memory.
So, I stood up, started walking towards my friend, my bike and the car with the feet, that were all stopped together about 200 feet ahead. My freind was still sitting on his bike talking to the passenger and the socked guy was walking quickly towards me in amazement and horror asking if I was ok.
I would just nod and I was still walking in the second lane of the freeway and the cars were slowly filing along side of me with the vaery same looks on their faces in amazement I was still alive and walking. A couple of guys were tugging at me trying to get me off the freeway and onto the shoulder so the cars could go. I was thinking that I had earned this lane and they can go around.
I was more wondering about the cool air behind me. I reached back and touched my bare ass all bloody. Yup, I skided the ass right out of my pants. I felt emabarrassed then because I knkew everyone behind me must see it. That's when I went off the side of the road.
Someone laid out their sweatshirt, I sat down and then I was being admonished by the passenger. A stranger walked up and told her to shut up and that was not the time to be doing that. I really appreciated it because I wanted to say it but in no condition to kick the shit out of her.
I refused medical and got up to leave. Leave where? HMMM. I didn't know, I was only thiking that it was going to be a long walk.
Just then a motorcycle cop rode up. He was concerned but very nice. When he asked for my license, I was sure I was going to be arrested because it was suspended for failing to appear for a traffic ticket so I didn't even carry it with me. I was surprised and relieved that he was understanding and it was not important to him.
Everyone kept telling me to hop in the ambulance that just arrived. The fireman were all ever me, other motorists, cop, friend and whoever the hell else was there. Finally, they showed me the gash in my knee and was was getting very stiff very fast. I decided to go with them but not for those other reasons but I figured the cop would think if I was not hurt enough to go to the hospital then he would just arrest me for the suspended license. I went.
All I could think of was getting to the hospital and they could help releive some of the pain. THAT DID NOT HAPPEN!. They had to scrub my ass with a scrub brush to get the asphault out of it. I kept saying no thanks cuz I was in enough pain. They said they had to but showed me a can of spray that was a pain killer. I relented and rolled over. He sprayed it on my ass and then......
OH MY GOD!!! THAT SHIT BURNS!! Where the hell did he get painkiller from?
I got ahold of the can and we were in a tug of war for it. He got help I gave up and took the pain like a... like a... Well, yeah like a PU**Y.
Next up was a Japanese Torture expert. He came with a cup and told me he needed a urine sample. I said sorry, but I am sure I pissed all over the freeway. He said he had to have one. I said sorry but, I don't think I could because it seemed that my manhood took shelter when we crashed because it was as if it were 10 degrees below zero or something.
He did not laugh and told me that it was not problem if I could not go and his words were exactly the following with a Japanese accent; "It's ok if you cannot, we have other ways to get urine samples.
Well, that was enough and he needed to act fast because I damn near pissed everywhere when he said that.
The rest is just a faded memory in my mind and on my ass.
Sorry it was so long but this is the very first time I laid it out to anyone.
I hope that you know this is the true version and as proof, you should realize that someone wouldn't lie to make themselves look like this big of an idiot. Nope, not me, I don't need lies or exaggerations, I have the truth on my side helpng me look like a damn idiot without the lies.
