Kids and tickling

[EmbraceSerenity]

I don't know if this is allowed.

I teach small kids and since September I've been made aware of a boy with a crush on me. What started as general playfulness around me, and asking me to dance during discos, he has started to tickle me and would chase me around the playground to tickle me. It made me feel incredibly self conscious and anxious and so I asked him to stop but he occasionally does it still. So I just want to ask if it's considered weird. A friend of mine has said he probably does it to make me laugh, as he often makes jokes and we've shared a cuddle or a laugh.

 

[shygirl08]

Yeah, it's normal behavior *I think*. It's been a long road for me to realize that for the majority of people it's an innocent, playful and fun way of just bonding.

I also found out in elementary school through high school it's a way boys like to "flirt" with girls. He has a crush on you and is just trying to get your attention. But if it really makes you uncomfortable you can sit down with him and tell him that isn't okay to do to you.

 

[Edward_]

How old is the kid?

I have been teaching for 6 years to people at varying ages. I've had some small kids too, and really any touch has to be treated as inappropriate. If the kid won't stop, you might need to talk to someone higher than you or his parents. But any touch has to be avoided when teaching, just to make sure nothing can either happen, or for that matter look like it's happening which can also have the same end results.

 

[rhiannon]

For kids tickling is an innocent way to seek physical contact. I don't really know why you think it's weird. If you were the one doing it to him, it would be a different story.

 

[Myriads]

Tickling plays a roll in flirting behavior, and with kids in the range you indicate, it's pretty common. So no, it's not odd.

You'll need to be a touch more firm in asking them to knock it off. It's a good time to give the 'unwelcome touching is not cool' talk.

Myriads

 

[NY ler]

I wonder if sexes were reversed (young girl student tickling a male teacher) if people would still say that its ok...I think not.

 

[Mitchell]

"Weird". No. I think many kids have a "curiousity" or playfulness type thing.

If it's making you uncomfortable though, and this boy is persisting in doing the tickling, I agree with Myriads view that you should probably ask the boy to stop.

 

[rhiannon]

I wonder if sexes were reversed (young girl student tickling a male teacher) if people would still say that its ok...I think not.

Sure it would. Kids will be kids! It's just highly unlikely a young girl would act that way. What wouldn't be ok would be the teacher encouraging that behavior, but that's the case here as well.

 

[EmbraceSerenity]

Thanks for all the input. I want to assure you that I have always been professional, but with this age group often we hold kids hands or give them cuddles so I have often been careful. And for the record I would never initiate tickling with the children, don't think it's professional at all.

Hes 7. If it continues I'll have another talk with him.

 

[TigerChick22]

In his mind, of course it's not weird at all. And i can understand how it makes you feel weird. I work with small children also, but for a branch of a larger chain, and we have a "no touching" policy (unless in necessary cases, of course). But generally, a keep your hands to yourself kind of thing... Does your work place have this policy? If so, enforce it. Don't be afraid to be stern... I know they are little kids, but they will get over it when they find the next thing they can bug you with.

 

[jonny86]

It sounds like innocent fun. However, even innocent fun needs boundaries with kids that age. Treat it like any other behavioral issue. If it's just a kid being flirty and playful, it's okay until it starts becoming a bit much. Young kids don't have boundaries until they're taught and I'm sure you can tell when it's time to start discussing boundaries.

By the way, this is probably a horrible forum to ask such a question considering the reason people are here. Ask in a forum where the word "tickling" doesn't have so much baggage attached to it. The answers here have been pretty good though, not denying that

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

In my opinion, you only find it weird behaviour because you are into tickling as a fetish already. That being said, if it bothers you in your professional work environment, you have every right to ask him to cut it out. Associating tickling and fetishism with a seven year old is not a good thing, even though it is being initiated by him, I think you are doing the right thing by shutting it down

 

[tickledorange]

My husband doesn't allow any of the kids in his classroom to touch him or each other and says, "If they didn't say you could touch them, you shouldn't do it".

 

[Edward_]

I agree with TigerChick22. It's not a question of innocent fun or not. It's about child protection laws and trying to be above reproach.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

You definitely need to be careful if it's a teaching job, even if the kid is tickling you without you instigating it, because it might be seen as something else... Someone might assume you're letting him and you like being tickled and you could get in a lot of trouble... especially with teachers all the time getting in trouble for sexual behavior with kids, people can be quick to judge just to be on the safe side so if there's any hint that there might be something going on between you and the kid. So you should probably find a way for him to get the message that you should stop. I don't think it's weird, but people that are overly careful might not like it happening. Ask him to go tickle someone his own size or something.

 

[Rachel_L]

I don't know if this is allowed.

I teach small kids and since September I've been made aware of a boy with a crush on me. What started as general playfulness around me, and asking me to dance during discos, he has started to tickle me and would chase me around the playground to tickle me. It made me feel incredibly self conscious and anxious and so I asked him to stop but he occasionally does it still. So I just want to ask if it's considered weird. A friend of mine has said he probably does it to make me laugh, as he often makes jokes and we've shared a cuddle or a laugh.

I'm sorry I can't quite get my head around this. You have a dilemma like this and you ask this question on what is a site for consenting adults with a tickle fetish? I also have to ask who made you aware of a 7 yes 7 year old with a crush on you? Highly unlikely at that age..I also think given your screen name that there is more to this that meets the eye...I ask therefore why you're asking for advice on a fetish site with a screen name like yours rather than seeking advice from those with the experise and authority to deal with this above you?

 

[Sandrock74]

"7 year old with a crush on you? Highly unlikely at that age.."

How is that unlikely? When I was seven years old, I had crushes on female members of the species.

 

[Rachel_L]

I think you're missing my point....

 

[U.N.Owen]

Actually, it's very common for kids that age to have crushes on teachers, and teachers are often aware of it. There's no need to make accusations without evidence. Her screen name only shows that she has a tickle fetish, which would make her all the more uncomfortable with the student's behavior. Sure, online you never know for sure what's what. But I don't see any reason to assume the worst and start slinging mud.

As for the original question, I think there's also an authority issue here. Kids should treat their teachers respectfully. Treating them like other kids isn't appropriate, whatever the actual behavior.

 

[rhiannon]

I'm sorry I can't quite get my head around this. You have a dilemma like this and you ask this question on what is a site for consenting adults with a tickle fetish? I also have to ask who made you aware of a 7 yes 7 year old with a crush on you? Highly unlikely at that age..I also think given your screen name that there is more to this that meets the eye...I ask therefore why you're asking for advice on a fetish site with a screen name like yours rather than seeking advice from those with the experise and authority to deal with this above you?

I think you are reading too much into this! What's so bad about her screen-name? She's not registered here since yesterday, and why wouldn't she come to a place like this? She HAS a tickle fetish, and that is probably the only reason why she thinks so much about it. It wouldn't be a big deal to most other people. She wants to hear opinions of people who can understand her. She couldn't bring up the tickling fetish to her supervisors anyways, and that is the very fact that's bothering her.

 

[EmbraceSerenity]

Thank you guys. First of all it is very common for young kids to have crushes. I know because of the things he has said and the way he is around me which has become clear to my colleagues too. Like others have said, I only wanted some advice for people who might understand me as I'm sure people at work wouldn't understand. Even though I like tickling, I want to keep it away from my work as much as possible.

That said, I have spoken with the little boy. He said he loves being silly with me, which I said I'm always here if he needs an adult but we keep hands to ourselves.

 

[Jagermeistered]

That said, I have spoken with the little boy. He said he loves being silly with me, which I said I'm always here if he needs an adult but we keep hands to ourselves.

That is a good start, but remember, kids have a one-track mind(when they want or want to do something). Conditioning, is a long-term process. And a simple pep talk will not always work. Where do you think the non-con crowd comes from?

 

[TheTickleMonster]

I'm sorry I can't quite get my head around this. You have a dilemma like this and you ask this question on what is a site for consenting adults with a tickle fetish? I also have to ask who made you aware of a 7 yes 7 year old with a crush on you? Highly unlikely at that age..I also think given your screen name that there is more to this that meets the eye...I ask therefore why you're asking for advice on a fetish site with a screen name like yours rather than seeking advice from those with the experise and authority to deal with this above you?

I'm sorry I can't quite get my head around this. What is your issue exactly? Yes we are a tickling site which is supposed to be about adults tickling, but that doesn't mean she can't come here and ask advice to do about a kid that keeps tickling her. Maybe she thought that we might have had experience with that. It's not like she was talking about tickling the kid in some sexual way... she was just asking peoples opinion about the kid tickling her and what to do on a tickling site. You were really rude. And a nine year old just had a baby in mexico, and if a 9 year old can have a kid, then sure a 7 year old can have a crush on someone...

 

[tickledorange]

You could always just tell him to keep his hands to himself.

 

[desperado_flare]

It's sad that we live in a culture where this is even a question worth asking. He's a kid being playful. If the person receiving the tickling is fine with it, it SHOULD be a non-issue. The pathetic fact that rampant pedo-fear has transformed our society into a place where innocent acts like tickling are causes for litigation is downright depressing.

I hope that, if it truly makes you feel self-conscious, he stops. If you aren't truly uncomfortable with it, then I hope he continues and you do subtly encourage him to express himself in whatever way he feels is appropriate. There are some things that kids obviously shouldn't do and should be discouraged from even considering, but tickling (and innocent touches in general) is not one of them. If it starts happening to teachers on a wider scale, maybe the culture will wise-up to it's harmful paranoia.