Killing a fetish

[ike4]

Last time i was on this site i posted about my efforts to be free of having a tickling fetish and being able to have normal sex, which was almost impossible for me. Well i have succeeded and am now free to enjoy normal sex with my wife. I want to share how i did it, incase anyone else feels trapped in their fetish and wants out.

I saw a youtube video by a man named mark gungor (i think thats how its spelt) titled "yo mama" that explained to me how i got my fetish in the first place and how to break it. It boils down to sexual fantasy and mastibation.

All fetishes are built on sexual fantasy. Every time you sexually fantasize about you fetish area (in my case tickling) you feed the fetish and make it stronger. The more you do it the stronger it becomes, and if it becomes strong enough you will be unable to have sexual arousal without it, which was the situation i was in. Im ashamed to admit that despite my christian faith i was fantasizing every day about tickling, and it almost destroyed my ability to have sex with my wife, who was forced to become a ler to have sex with me.

The way to stop it is very simple - stop all sexual fantasizing. The first week is the hardest, and after that it is easy. Within a month of not fantasizing my fetish just sort of died on its own without me doing anything. Now when i have sex i deliberately dont think of anything and just let the feel of my wife's body arouse me. The sex is so much more pleasureable now also, perhaps 5 times more pleasurable than before.

The second area is mastibation. This really ties into fantasizing. I am ashamed to admit that as a christian i was mastibating almost every day. When i got married i could only climax by mastibation for the first 6 months (while my poor wife tickled me, leaving one of my hands free to mastibate). Unsurprisingly my wife did not want this sort of sex very often and i would mastibate twice a day over sexual fantasies. After six months i was bothered about this and slowly managed to retrain myself to have sex with my wife.

I have learned that just as an athlete can train their body to respond a certain way through repetitive training, i had trained my own body to only respond sexually to my own hand, to the point that i was unable to have sex with a beautiful woman who loved me.

I found that the only way to break this fully was to stop mastibating altogether. For 6-7 years i had tried this and never lasted more than 4 weeks, but that was when i was still sexually fantasizing. Once i stopped all sexual fantasizing, i had nothing to mastibate over, and it became literally very very easy not to mastibate. It has been about 5 weeks now, and i havent had the slightest urge to mastibate since i stopped fantasizing.

One temptation i have found is to mastibate when unable to climax by normal sex. Sometimes my wife will get terrible cramps during sex if she is close to the end of her menstral cycle and we have to stop before climax for example. During these times when left with "blue balls" it can be tempting to "finish up" by mastibating, but i have so far resisted this urge. To fully retrain yourself it is nessisary to go without sexual climax when it cant be reached by normal intercourse to train yourself to rely solely on normal sex.

Well now i am sexually free. My fetish has died away (I now find the porn on this site replent to the point of nausia) and i enjoy normal sexual relations with my wife. I feel like a huge weight has lifted

 

[Sandrock74]

Please learn how to spell "masturbate" properly.

 

[voided9]

Well congrats, not sure why you'd come back to the forum just to be like "this stuff makes me sick", but whatever. I'm very happy to be a tickle fetishist and I wouldn't change it for the world. I'll think about it a hundred times a day if I so desire, and I have a perfectly normal, happy, healthy sex life with my husband, who is also a tickle-lover.

Also, since when is a tickling fetish considered "un-Christian-like"? You seem super insecure dude...

 

[C.A.B.]

Please learn how to spell "masturbate" properly.

Which is almost as important as learning to masturbate properly.

 

[Sandrock74]

Which is almost as important as learning to masturbate properly.

HA! Point well taken, sir

 

[dr_random]

Like BrandiElizabeth mentioned above, I'm glad you were able to get rid of something that was causing you so much worry, I guess. But I'll admit, reading your post made me feel kind of sorry for you. To feel so ashamed seems a little unhealthy. However, if it was causing so much stress to you and your wife I suppose it's for the best.
I'm not sure if this was a final post before you leave the forum, or if you'll stick around for the social aspect, but I wish the best of luck to you.

 

[milagros317]

Thank you for your advice. But I don't want to kill my fetish; I want to enjoy it.

 

[meangry]

No.

 

[Freethought]

Let's stop playing into this guy's game and giving him attention.

 

[Rand91]

This seems like the kind of thing that leads to someone becoming a serial killer.

 

[voided9]

This seems like the kind of thing that leads to someone becoming a serial killer.

Hahaha that made my night!

 

[Thatsecretchord]

Pff I knew just from the title that this thread would get these kind of responses. Why does it piss people off so much to think someone would actually want to be free of this fetish? Tell the truth I'm kinda 50/50. There are some days I like having this secret part of myself but you can't argue it can complicate things and the rest of the time I bloody hate it! I feel so conflicted by it that if someone offered me a pill to get rid of it they would probably loose a finger or two I would snatch that shit up so fast. If matey has done this to make his wife happy then in my book that makes him a good man instead of a serial killer in the making (really?)

Those of you who are 'out' and with a partner who accepts you for what you are, congrats your very lucky but most of us will never find that. The world is full of people who would find this fetish disgusting/pathetic/ridiculous so we live in secret, FULL of fear of being found out.

Anyway I say we'll done mate. Might give it a try

 

[meangry]

The bottom line is that if you are a well adjusted human being, having a sexual kink isn't a big deal.

People like this apparently can't manage through life without thinking they're addicted to some phantom thing, like it's controlling their lives, that if they don't take the reigns and self determinate, they will be wildly jacking off at all hours of the day unable to function without tickling or feet or whatever the fuck comes to mind for all that. You'll find a great majority of people come here because they want to act without impunity, because this is the internet and it's a safe haven for them from the responsibilities of life. Then there are people who live with it and enjoy it. If your religious morals are problematic for you, that's your issue. If you are fifty/fifty on this, that's your issue. There's nothing complicated about it. People here get off on tickling. It's not rocket science, and if it's a human abomination, then I posit you ask your God why he made you pop wood over tickling women.

 

[voided9]

Pff I knew just from the title that this thread would get these kind of responses. Why does it piss people off so much to think someone would actually want to be free of this fetish? Tell the truth I'm kinda 50/50. There are some days I like having this secret part of myself but you can't argue it can complicate things and the rest of the time I bloody hate it! I feel so conflicted by it that if someone offered me a pill to get rid of it they would probably loose a finger or two I would snatch that shit up so fast. If matey has done this to make his wife happy then in my book that makes him a good man instead of a serial killer in the making (really?)

Those of you who are 'out' and with a partner who accepts you for what you are, congrats your very lucky but most of us will never find that. The world is full of people who would find this fetish disgusting/pathetic/ridiculous so we live in secret, FULL of fear of being found out.

Anyway I say we'll done mate. Might give it a try

First of all, he was joking about the serial killer comment. Second, I don't want you to get the impression that I was judging anyone for wanting to be rid of their fetish, because that's not true, I know how badly it can complicate things and how frustrating it can be. My problem was that he made a tickling fetish seem like a "sin", and that he called this place "nauseating" like he's so much better than us because he all of a sudden doesn't like tickling. Also, I find it sad [not "pathetic", I mean genuinely sad] that some people are so horribly uncomfortable and insecure about who they are that they feel the need to get rid of things like a fetish, as if they're exorcising a demon.

It's not my [or anyone else's] place to judge whether someone should "keep" their fetish or not, if it's truly causing them problems and they want to be rid of it, I say good for them and I wish them the best. I do not, however, condone someone all of a sudden putting the fetish and its community down just because it's not a part of their lifestyle anymore. Which the original poster didn't entirely do, but I have seen others do it before.

 

[voided9]

The bottom line is that if you are a well adjusted human being, having a sexual kink isn't a big deal.

People like this apparently can't manage through life without thinking they're addicted to some phantom thing, like it's controlling their lives, that if they don't take the reigns and self determinate, they will be wildly jacking off at all hours of the day unable to function without tickling or feet or whatever the fuck comes to mind for all that. You'll find a great majority of people come here because they want to act without impunity, because this is the internet and it's a safe haven for them from the responsibilities of life. Then there are people who live with it and enjoy it. If your religious morals are problematic for you, that's your issue. If you are fifty/fifty on this, that's your issue. There's nothing complicated about it. People here get off on tickling. It's not rocket science, and if it's a human abomination, then I posit you ask your God why he made you pop wood over tickling women.

Also, I agree with all of this. Well said.

 

[Thatsecretchord]

First of all, he was joking about the serial killer comment. Second, I don't want you to get the impression that I was judging anyone for wanting to be rid of their fetish, because that's not true, I know how badly it can complicate things and how frustrating it can be. My problem was that he made a tickling fetish seem like a "sin", and that he called this place "nauseating" like he's so much better than us because he all of a sudden doesn't like tickling. Also, I find it sad [not "pathetic", I mean genuinely sad] that some people are so horribly uncomfortable and insecure about who they are that they feel the need to get rid of things like a fetish, as if they're exorcising a demon.

It's not my [or anyone else's] place to judge whether someone should "keep" their fetish or not, if it's truly causing them problems and they want to be rid of it, I say good for them and I wish them the best. I do not, however, condone someone all of a sudden putting the fetish and its community down just because it's not a part of their lifestyle anymore. Which the original poster didn't entirely do, but I have seen others do it before.

Hey I didn't mean that to sound directed at anyone in particular, more just at the mob mentality that seems to pop up on here fairly often. You can't deny this isn't the first time someone has been jumped on for something like this. I just don't see why there always has to be negative comments. You can tell what this thread is about before you click on it. If you don't agree don't read it.

Oh and I do agree he could have worded some of it a bit better but I don't think he meant to offend anyone.

 

[voided9]

Hey I didn't mean that to sound directed at anyone in particular, more just at the mob mentality that seems to pop up on here fairly often. You can't deny this isn't the first time someone has been jumped on for something like this. I just don't see why there always has to be negative comments. You can tell what this thread is about before you click on it. If you don't agree don't read it.

Oh and I do agree he could have worded some of it a bit better but I don't think he meant to offend anyone.

I'm glad you didn't think that but just wanted to make sure =]
Unfortunately that's the way it works when you're on a forum for a particular thing, then someone comes on and bashes the thing. It happens. And whether people agree or not, they will voice their opinions, because this is a diverse community with diverse opinions, and that's what keeps things interesting. It's all in how the person says it, too. If he had just said "My fetish was causing me problems, I got rid of it and am happier, here's how I did it" - and left it at that - it wouldn't have come across so rudely and the responses probably wouldn't have been so negative. But again, diversity here, etc. etc. etc.

 

[Thatsecretchord]

I'm glad you didn't think that but just wanted to make sure =]
Unfortunately that's the way it works when you're on a forum for a particular thing, then someone comes on and bashes the thing. It happens. And whether people agree or not, they will voice their opinions, because this is a diverse community with diverse opinions, and that's what keeps things interesting. It's all in how the person says it, too. If he had just said "My fetish was causing me problems, I got rid of it and am happier, here's how I did it" - and left it at that - it wouldn't have come across so rudely and the responses probably wouldn't have been so negative. But again, diversity here, etc. etc. etc.

Fair enough totally agree

 

[LRufus]

Well, I personally find the tickle fetish harmless, just a little embarrassing. My boyfriend/best friend told me it's nothing to be ashamed of, but if you did it to make your wife happy, I say you truly love your wife and I wish you well ^_^

 

[Jagermeistered]

The OP is jerking-off to tickle porn! Do not lie, ike4...

 

[shaolindog]

Dude I'm all about the power of the mind but your method sounds a little too simple to be effective but if it worked for you that's cool. I would ditch this fetish in a heartbeat so I may even try it.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

I'm really finding it unusual that so many people seemingly hate having this fetish and see it as such a burden in life, yet they join an interactive community thats full of like minded people. Seriously, if you cant embrace it, GTFO.

 

[Thatsecretchord]

I'm really finding it unusual that so many people seemingly hate having this fetish and see it as such a burden in life, yet they join an interactive community thats full of like minded people. Seriously, if you cant embrace it, GTFO.

Well if they're anything like me it's because I was looking for reassurance that I wasn't alone. If I felt weird before I found this place at least I feel...slightly less so now...

 

[jhop220]

I find this interesting to say the least. Why is it that you can't integrate your fetish into your sexual life? Does your sex life have to be so vanilla?

I understood long ago about this fetish. I choose to not think of it as a burden like so many others do. I don't need tickling to get aroused. I enjoy using it as foreplay. I think it adds spice to the bedroom and makes things exciting.

Tickling is not the end all be all to my sex life. It never has been because I understood that after a certain point you are fucking. Will power is something all of us have to a certain extent. It would be wise to use it. Embrace your cup of tea and your partners while at the same time...understand that there is a time to tickle and a time to FUCK. (Sometimes you can do both if your partner is willing)

 

[jc10113]

One cannot just "get rid" of a fetish. One's fetish has to do with the individuals brain chemistry and genetic makeup (there are scholarly articles out there which are very interesting on the topic of fetishes). Saying that one can just "get rid" of a fetish is the equivalent of stating one can just "pray the gay" out of a homosexual, which is of course completely absurd. What the individual does with their fetish, when attempting to "get rid" of it, is they bury it deep within the subconscious where it continuously attempts to resurface to the conscious mind. Most of the time it does resurface and they are back to indulging their fetish, but this time around the urge will be even stronger to delve into it which may end up with the individual feeling even more "guilty" than when they began. That itself can cause depression and other psychological traumas. If anyone would like any further information on fetishes I can recommend some literature they can read.