Married/Commited couples into tickling

[Tamia78]

I know we all love this tickling fetish of ours. What I wanna know is this:

For you married/commited couples--Do you play daily? Every single time you're together? Do you feel the same way about tickling your partner as you did when you were 1st married?

If this is too personal, I totally understand. I mean, I LOVE my fetish, but, in my opinion, if you're both into tickling.......then it's a part of your relationship, right? How would you "mix it up" so to speak? Does it ever get boring to you?

Again, if it's too personal, you don't have to answer, I just wanna know.

--T

 

[venray]

Tracy and I dont play every day. When we do it is reserved for when we have the time to "follow through"....

Though we do poke and tease quite often....

have to juggle free time with the lil guy around..

When she and I do play it is just like it always was right from the beginning....

10 years married and it just keeps getting better... Never a boring moment...

 

[chicago]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years now. I told him about the tickling thing about two weeks into it and I told him about the community a little over a year ago.

He's not into the community aspect of it, but I think he enjoys tickling me. Our play is pretty spontaneous and most of the time it's more on the playful side. Although what is playful to us, may be torturous to those without such an interest. For example, most of our play is without bondage as we don't even have any equipment, (aside from old neckties which don't even work. I'm looking into purchasing some actual cuffs which will hopefully spice things up) but when he does tickle me, it's for at least 10 minutes and pretty intense.

It doesn't feel the same as when me and my boyfriend started dating, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel as good as it did. I think when I first told him, it was exciting because I was nervous and I was still getting to know him. We were still in that beginning stage of our relationship where we were all butterflies and starry-eyed. Now, it's still fun and since he knows me better now, he knows what he's doing a bit more and what works and what doesn't, and so on.

At any rate, I'm rambling. Tickling is just one part of our relationship, and in the big scheme of things, it's a small part. When I was younger, before I really started dating, the idea of being tickled was so exciting to me I could barely stand it. Now that I get it on a regular basis, I've gotten kind of jaded. I can only imagine how those who make clips for a living must feel after a while. It's important to mix things up a bit and even take a break from tickling to be able to fully appreciate it.

But after a while, when you're in a long term relationship and issues like moving in together, marriage, trust, love, and all that other deep stuff comes up, tickling just seems so nominal.

I wouldn't be as happy as I am without it, but it's not something I feel I need.

 

[Tamia78]

Thanks for the responses, Ray and Annie.

I'm getting the feeling that I don't like tickling as much as some others do. To me, I LOVE tickling and being tickled, but, in my time of talking to others on the TMF, I'm sometimes made to feel like I'm not really into the fetish because I do have my times of just not wanting to be tickled at that moment. I know that by now ya'll are looking incredulous and are like, "WHAT? HOW CAN YOU NOT WANNA BE TICKLED ALL THE FREAKING TIME? YOU'RE NOT A REAL TICKLING FETISHIST THEN!!!"

I totally disagree. I think I operate well having this fetish. Since I don't really live near anyone, it's not really a huge deal that I'm not tickled on a regular basis..............until now. Being in a relationship with a person who's into the fetish is so different!

Annie, I totally identify with you. Now that I get to play semi-regularly, it's not such a huge thing for me anymore. I still have my life, work, stuff, etc. I just feel that if I'm in a relationship with someone into tickling, it's ALWAYS gonna be a part of our play, sexual or not.

I'm sure I have more to say, but I'll stop here, lol.

--T

 

[dvnc]

All the time? No.

Been into this since I was a child, and no, I don't gotta play all the time.

Nor is all the tickling sexual. Sometimes we just give one another little tickles for fun. Sometimes we kiss and don't get all messy about it. That's just, for us, the way we roll.



Some are unable to divide casual from sexual where tickling is concerned. Some are. We are. You are. It's just a difference. Nothin' wrong wit' either way of bein'.

 

[BellaRisa]

I'm absolutely like you Tam, in not wanting to be tickled all the time. Frequently yes, but not every waking minute. And there are times when I prefer a headspace that's more suited to spanking and other impact play than tickling, tickling and spanking go well together but they need to be seperate on occasion. Now having said that, since tickling is 100% wrapped around my sexuality *and* it's how I best receive affection, both my partners are constant with light tickles and such. Actual sessions are less often but still pretty frequent and that hasn't changed in 17/10 yrs, and I've noticed that as we get older and more comfortable and 'in sync' the way long term couples do it only gets better

 

[Wolf]

Not all that odd, really

Tamia, I think many married/committed couples (where both partners are at least aware of the forum, if both aren't members) are in a similar space; I think a lot of it has to do with how the relationship started in the first place.
In my case, I had already fallen for my wife, before I found out she was ticklish, that she loved being tickled, that she had an extensive history of being tickled that she was not shy about sharing, and that she was very ticklish in some of my favorite places. So, Jackpot. Lucky Me. Incredibly, indescribably lucky me.

Even so, that's not all we're about.

We play often. We don't incorporate it into everything we do sexually, because, well, hell...that'd be boring (isn't that ironic?). You know, when you have 31 flavors, you can forget that vanilla's pretty tasty, too, once in a while. Yes, I said it. Vanilla. (that's a terribly uncool thing to say around here, I know. )

With us, it's about play and intimacy, not about one particular thing...it's like having a brand new XBox and only playing one game....it may be a great game, and your favorite, but, jeez...go out and toss a Frisbee once in a while, you know?

Maybe part of it comes from being lucky enough to have what I want. Sure, I still think about it a lot, because it's a primary part of my sexuality. But my sexuality is not all that I am, and my relationship is not all about sexuality.
And, frankly, if someone's sexuality is all about just one thing, or things related to that one thing....

...who's really the boring one?

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Yes I do enjoy and I do love to tickle and bear and me do love to tickle each other and have our fun but we also are a lot more than that as a married couple. We like to also spend time together and focus on our foundation for our relationship and our marriage -that is solid friendship, respect, honesty, openness, and trust. We spend time being friends and also companions as well as tickle partners. We also love to go out and karaoke, we love to go out there on the dance floor and boogie, love to hang out with my family and our friends. We enjoy chilling online and going out and having fun.

So yes tickling is great and a lot of fun and it can be a total blast and when we get the chance we do get into tickling each other-however we also like and enjoy watching comedies together, playing board games and cards together, we enjoy playing Monopoly, and enjoy just talking and laughing with each other-enjoying each other's company. So yes tickling is a huge part of our relationship but not the central only focus. We also enjoy the vanilla aspects of intimacy and being in a relationship when it comes to the physical and sexual aspect of our marriage. We enjoy kissing and touching and hugging and other aspects of foreplay as much as light tickle bondage. We like to keep a healthy balance and keep it even scaled.

 

[Tamia78]

Some are unable to divide casual from sexual where tickling is concerned. Some are. We are. You are. It's just a difference. Nothin' wrong wit' either way of bein'.

Thank you, DVNC, for this remark. I'm not saying that it's bad or people are freaks for thinking a different way that I do, but perhaps they could cut those of us who might be able to separate ourselves from it a bit more a little slack?

Bella, playtime is awesome now.........you mean it gets better???

Thank you Wolf for your response. You are an extremely lucky fellow in finding someone who shares your love of tickling. The X-box example.......right on! I'm gonna use that, lol.

--T

I'm feeling waaaaaay better, thanks, everyone!

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Thank you, DVNC, for this remark. I'm not saying that it's bad or people are freaks for thinking a different way that I do, but perhaps they could cut those of us who might be able to separate ourselves from it a bit more a little slack?

Bella, playtime is awesome now.........you mean it gets better???

Thank you Wolf for your response. You are an extremely lucky fellow in finding someone who shares your love of tickling. The X-box example.......right on! I'm gonna use that, lol.

--T

I'm feeling waaaaaay better, thanks, everyone!

Cut you slack? Are people giving you crap 'cause you're not a 24/7 omgticklemerightnowbeforemyeheadexplodes kinda gal? That, in my personal opinion, is ridiculous. Like dvnc said, everyone's different and neither way is wrong.

Personally, I find myself quite often in the mood to be tickled, but not ALL the time. I'm completely with Wolf - too much of a good thing is still. too. much.

Don't sweat it little mama. If you think you're into the fetish, you're into it. No one but you can say whether or not you're a *real* tickle fetishist.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Ray already summed it up, pretty much.

So I'll just echo what he's already said.

 

[Kinky Couple]

Somehow one or both of us pretty much get tickled everyday, whether it is just playful or more hardcore. It's truly part of our daily life.

 

[fordtech30]

Somehow one or both of us pretty much get tickled everyday, whether it is just playful or more hardcore. It's truly part of our daily life.

Thank you. People who enjoy it should probably do it everyday. I wouldn't think they would get tired of it.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Thank you. People who enjoy it should probably do it everyday. I wouldn't think they would get tired of it.

Should? I would think something would stop being enjoyable when it became a requirement.

 

[sasaxrah]

Thank you. People who enjoy it should probably do it everyday. I wouldn't think they would get tired of it.

I love the Cheesecake Factory. Contrary to popular belief, I would not want to eat there every single day. Even with their huge menu, delicious salads, and seemingly endless variety of cheesecakes.

Everyone has times when they don't want to play. For some, it may even be full days. Just because someone isn't into it as often as you doesn't mean they are getting tired of it.

 

[asutickler]

I love the Cheesecake Factory. Contrary to popular belief, I would not want to eat there every single day. Even with their huge menu, delicious salads, and seemingly endless variety of cheesecakes.

That's an excellent analogy. Because Sarah really, REALLY loves the Cheesecake Factory, but there's no way that she could eat there even twice in a row.

Never.

EVER.

EVER!

 

[SilverHealer84]

We don't do it every single day, but only when the mood strikes us. That mood just happens to strike A LOT It doesn't really get boring, because we both mix it up a little, and we absolutely love it.

 

[sasaxrah]

That's an excellent analogy. Because Sarah really, REALLY loves the Cheesecake Factory, but there's no way that she could eat there even twice in a row.

Silly Rhino. I could easily eat there twice in two days. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

 

[Soda Bobinski]

I'm not a LEE , so I don't know if this holds water or not , but I think it's safe to assume that being tickled takes more out of a person than it does to be the one dishing it out ... even if the person enjoys being tickled.

So , it stands to reason that the LEE in the relationship might need a break every once in a while , which I'm assuming would factor into them not wanting to play all the time. Makes sense to me.


'Course , I'm not in a relationship right now , so what the heck am I even doing in this thread?

 

[OKC_TklCpl]

I'm with Venray's first comment on this one. We have been married for 13 years now, and I didn't "come out" until a few years into the marriage.. I guess I was still trying to figure it out myself. She's TOTALLY into it, to the poin
that if I accidentally tickle her during the day, it WILL be followed through on after the kiddos are in bed if you know what I mean.

BUT...

It doesen't happen all the time. In fact, she gets upset if I do it all the time. Ive learned over the years to pace myself and use restraint. Not every time I feel like tickling her is the time she wants to be tickled. AND at the same time, not every time she wants to be tickled I'm necessarily into it at that moment.
I dont think this makes us any LESS a couple of true fetishists.. Tickling has always been a part of my life in relationships, and I never truly understood it until me and the missus had a really deep conversation about "stuff".
Due to childhood abuse towards her, we are not able to really use bondage, and thats very understandable. Im cool with it. But that is a different thread altogether, isnt it?

Hope this helped

 

[Tamia78]

I definitely agree that there is probably going to be some kind of tickling going on, esp. if 2 people are into it. But to expect it every day, all the time is a bit unrealistic, in my opinion. I think it's part of being sensitive to your partner's needs and wants. If one partner likes to tickle, then it's not gonna hurt to indulge them. Compromise. Give a little, take a little.

Thank you to all who responded.

--T

 

[OKC_TklCpl]

I definatly agree.. Every day would not happen. At least in my case.
but were happy

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Oh yes I agree with you Tamia, everyday expecting and hoping to get tickled is maybe a bit too much and expecting too much. I mean everyone has each their share of good and bad and terrible days. It would be ideal and wonderful and great if couples had the same similiar sex drives and had the same tickle drive. But unfornately this is not a perfect ideal world. I agree with you very much so.

I think also it does boil down to being there for your partner and loving your partner-being sensitive to his or her moods and gauging your sex /tickle drive-whether it would be appropriate, whether it would be welcomed at the moment, whether it would be appreciated-example going to be a failure if a woman feels like having a passionate night complete with lovemaking and tickling-if her man is having a rough day or a real bad week-or has a lot of troubles on his mind. Or had a bad work day-I mean it could and it can happen-however it is a if situation.

I think it would greatly depend on if her man felt like his partner was there for him and willing to be there and listen to how his day at work went or what might be bugging him if he needed to talk or needed to vent his frustrations about work or about things going on in his life. Sadly if she is not willing to listen and might not be willing to be there for him emotionally-the night very well could be a disaster. He will feel she was not there for him and not there to let him vent out his frustrations-feel his work and what he does is not needed and not appreciated-not valued. She will feel like he is not there for her, not wanting to show affection to her, not wanting to emotionally connect with her-in turn make both feel bad-likely that passionate night of lovemaking and tickling is not going to happen. Like we all know relationships and especially marriages and long term commited relationships take a lot of work, lot of love, lot of perserverence and a lot of give and take, lot of compromise and personal sacrifice for the sake of the relationship/or marriage.

So it should not come as a surprise that both partners are not going to have identical exact same tickle drives, just like we know it is very common for there to be conflicting different sex drives, we really should and really need to expect there to be more than a time to time-different tickle drives. For us to not expect and not believe this is folly and sadly can set us all up for disappointment. We are all unique and different-each of our sex / tickle drives vary from person to person, we all have different emotional and sexual desires, fantasies, and sexual needs.

So yes Tamia I agree with you wholeheartedly-a person does need to be emotionally sensitive or aware of his or her partner's feelings and moods-gauge it accordingly and go from there. There is just going to be times one's partner is not going to feel like having sex or not going to feel like tickling or not feel like being intimate. Sadly this happens, we have to learn to adapt and roll with it, but think it is important and what matters most in the end -is that each partner reaches a mutual ground and a mutual understanding-find a happy medimum.

 

[Sciamster]

Every relationship that i've been in that the girl knew about my fetish, tickling would always be a form of foreplay. I may not tie her up and tickle her every night, but there is some form of tickling just about every day, or night, or both, well you get the point.

 

[Capnmad]

Tickling is awesome, but everything in moderation, I think... I'm generally a huge fan of women and a huge fan of touch, when you get down to it. If I'm not tickling, I'm cuddling, stroking her back, fondling a woman's hands, or tracing patterns on her. And if she wants to talk and share something with me, I'm all about listening. Simply being around women is a pleasure, and one I think a lot of guys may take for granted.

In fact, I've had sessions where we've taken a break from play, and my partner wanted to talk, and I spent quite some time kneeling at the end of the bed or sitting or lying next to her, just listening... And it was wonderful.

That is to say, even in a session that you've put aside for play -- it's not all about tickling even then -- it's about the person.


EDIT: Just realized it was a thread only for the committed... *dons straightjacket and calls Fireguardian to have self 302ed* There! Now what I have to say is relevant!