Men are not sadistic ticklers???

[Ticklerguy4u]

Okay, I got to ask..

I hear often that women are more sadistic ticklers then men. I can't agree with that. When i am tickling a female I am about as sadistic as I can get and it isn't pretty. So where is this observation coming from? Is it really that guys aren't sadistic or is it because guys aren't that good? Do you guys hold back for some reason?? Help me understand this rumor.

 

[chicago]

Gonna take a wild leap and say some dudes are shitty ticklers and some women are merciless and vice versa and therefore, some women may be better lers than men and vice versa, but at the end of the day both men and women are different in how they define what's good or bad to them as well as their own likes and dislikes.

I've experienced more bad male lers than bad female lers tho.

Also, your opinion of yourself isn't the barometer for any kind of statistic lol

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Gonna take a wild leap and say some dudes are shitty ticklers and some women are merciless and vice versa and therefore, some women may be better lers than men and vice versa, but at the end of the day both men and women are different in how they define what's good or bad to them as well as their own likes and dislikes.

I've experienced more bad male lers than bad female lers tho.

Also, your opinion of yourself isn't the barometer for any kind of statistic lol

I don't know...I can hype myself up pretty good. Thanks for a taste of humble pie though, it was good. But seriously, I was talking more about my tickling sadistic side; not so much about my technique. However, once i know about a spot or several...i do exploit it. So far I have not had any complains except maybe once where the girl said it tickled so much but hated being tickled. So take that what you will.

 

[rafael]

As a guy there's an ingrained philosophy about not hurting girls. This has been drilled into me since I was a kid. And while I don't see tickling as hurting, a part of me is always going to be focused on making sure I'm not hurting her. It may be different if I ever tickled a guy, but that's not something I do or look to do so I can't say. On the other hand, my experience is that women more often hit guys. It's generally playful. I don't think there's usually an intent to hurt, but there doesn't seem to be that underlying concern that they may hurt either. Obviously, these are generalizations, but if I were to guess as to why some may be believe that women are more sadistic ticklers, I think this is a big part of it.

 

[Wolf]

I don't know about sadistic (as I think that term is mistakenly used by a lot of guys as a "selling point"), but I think, in general, women are more effective ticklers; they usually have experience on the receiving end, and seem to be more interested in making the 'lee laugh, rather than just tickling them where they want to tickle them (and nowhere else).

 

[b0xr]

I think it all depends on whom they are tickling. I think in general, men are more ticklish than women. Therefore, if a man is tickling a woman and vice versa, the woman would seems the better, more sadistic 'Ler. I think men can probably be a little rougher than women too and not as patient. I have never tickled a man, but when I tickle a woman I start slowly, feeling her out. Seeing what works and what doesn't. And just because something didn't work at the beginning of a session doesn't mean it won't work later in that session. I can be as sadistic as my 'lee wants me to be. I can get down right Evil if I played with the right woman.

 

[sonnymadler]

Sadism in itself is subjective. It depends on the ler, the lee, the trust between them, and from that the level to which they want to drive the lee mental. As a guy, my view of sadistic tickling is teasing the lee with playful gestures, evil facial expressions, verbal teasing, alternating technique (slow light tickling, when done right, can be more torturous than hard rapid scraping/digging). Sadism IMO stands for not just physical tickle torture, but mental too. One has to know how to drive a lee's anticipation up without even touching.

Having said that, I think the reason why women may be more effective lers is because women are more emotional and intuitive by nature, whereas men are used to being more physical and burying their emotions. Just take a look at the many tickling clips and study the lers' technique and facial expressions. Half the male lers have poker faces and just go 'wham-bam, thank you ma'am!' through the entire session. But women lers are often more playful, teasing. It's just in their nature, to be playful and a tease (unlike men), and they unleash their sadistic side practically without even noticing.

I personally can do both the physical and mental games, so I might be called sadistic. But it also highly depends on the lee; I will of course incorporate mental teasing (more mild perhaps) with someone new without even touching them, but when it comes to the tickling itself, I'd be careful at first, for I'm not familiar with this lee's weaknesses. With a more experienced lee, whom I might know well, I'd go all out and be as evil as want.

 

[bethaknee]

I've had a couple former male play partners tell me they were afraid they were going to "break me." I can understand that. However, I have met people (men and women) that are not afraid of being sadistic. I think it really just depends on the person.

 

[TKLVR18]

Personally I find male lers more effective in general, though I've played with some women who could drive me out of my gourd too For me it's the psychology of men being so much bigger and more physically capable of making me helpless, I think. And they know it. And they use it >/./> Which I suppose is what you mean by 'sadistic'-enjoying the hell out of driving their lee crazy in the mental sense as much as physical.

But as most people have said, depends on your lee. A lot of guys would be totally unaffected by male 'lers. It just depends on who you are.

~K

 

[mindy]

I think there is something about a broken male ego in this post. As pointed out above, there are good/bad ticklers of both genders. Curiously, I have never had another woman brag to me that she is the best tickler around, though I have heard that a lot from men. It's as if the recognition is a big deal, like it's some kind of competition.

 

[arachnid95]

*sigh*
One's ability and disposition as a tickler is not tied to one's gender. It is completely and utterly a matter of the individual, regardless of the anatomy in one's pants or the identity one assumes.
Why we haven't yet figured this out and continue to debate this is beyond me...

 

[SoleMates]

Also, your opinion of yourself isn't the barometer for any kind of statistic lol

Quite. I'd rather others form their own conclusions. Let's ask Kim if I'm a merciless tickler...

 

[CTS Film Crew]

Quite. I'd rather others form their own conclusions. Let's ask Kim if I'm a merciless tickler...

View attachment 498330View attachment 498331View attachment 498332View attachment 498333

Full video or it didn't happen.

 

[SoleMates]

Full video or it didn't happen.

If you insist.

 

[The Internet]

First off, where is this "rumor" you've heard? And why are you so threatened by it? Always "I heard....", "I heard....." I think you just made up this "rumor".

What's most hilarious about your thread is how you boast of your tickling skills! ""it's not pretty"....well, if it's not pretty, then you're probably doing it wrong.

As far as "sadisitic"...what do you mean? Grimaces, "ows", and rope burns? Isn't a good tickler more than just one thing? You have to mix it up, you can't just be one thing, there's a time to be "sadistic", there's a time to be sensual, there's a time for fast, slow, etc etc......I'd rather be known as a skilled tickler, maybe even a diabolical one, a person who knows how to ride the wave....a person who knows the body, a deft tickler who knows how to pull off a tickle in even the most unlikely situations.... when to tickle and when not to tickle......when to keep just a little pressure, when to dig in.......how to dig in.....

It's like back rubs, some people know how to tickle and some don't. I don't think sex has that much to do with it. I had a girlfriend who couldn't give a massage to save her life, just didn't have that skill and sensitivity to do it. How many times have you seen videos of a great 'lee and then it comes time to switch, and she has no idea what she's doing? And I've seen a million videos where the guys don't know what they're doing either. You want to jump into your screen and hit these guys up the sides of their heads!

Also, the dynamic between M/F and F/F (and F/M for that matter) is completely different.

It's ok, though, what you really wanted, you got: multiple threads where you can feel persecuted as a man, awwwww, poor widdle baby! The world just doesn't understand you!

PS: For the record, I have seen that Sole Mates Kim video and he did a fantastic job.

 

[Volsung]

*sigh*
One's ability and disposition as a tickler is not tied to one's gender. It is completely and utterly a matter of the individual, regardless of the anatomy in one's pants or the identity one assumes.
Why we haven't yet figured this out and continue to debate this is beyond me...

Well said...

 

[P[a]pi]

I bet the illuminati started the rumor to be honest, but I think it's false as well cus I'm an awesome ler.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

It's ok, though, what you really wanted, you got: multiple threads where you can feel persecuted as a man, awwwww, poor widdle baby! The world just doesn't understand you!

The only baby I see is you.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

*sigh*
One's ability and disposition as a tickler is not tied to one's gender. It is completely and utterly a matter of the individual, regardless of the anatomy in one's pants or the identity one assumes.
Why we haven't yet figured this out and continue to debate this is beyond me...

Stick around long enough and you'll hear it....

 

[The Internet]

The only baby I see is you.

Zoom out your camera a bit.....you see that colicky infant, caterwauling in the wilderness? That's you! Like I said, poor widdle baby!

Hey ladies, there's a "TicklerGuy4U", right here! Any takers?

(I think it will be more like "TicklerGuy? F.U.!")

Some great threads you got going on 'round here, buddy, you sure know how to host a party!

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Zoom out your camera a bit.....you see that colicky infant, caterwauling in the wilderness? That's you! Like I said, poor widdle baby!

Hey ladies, there's a "TicklerGuy4U", right here! Any takers?

(I think it will be more like "TicklerGuy? F.U.!")

Some great threads you got going on 'round here, buddy, you sure know how to host a party!

I see your profile is still blank. I guess that's why you have so much to say.

 

[brotherted]

Personally I find male lers more effective in general, though I've played with some women who could drive me out of my gourd too For me it's the psychology of men being so much bigger and more physically capable of making me helpless, I think. And they know it. And they use it >/./> Which I suppose is what you mean by 'sadistic'-enjoying the hell out of driving their lee crazy in the mental sense as much as physical.

But as most people have said, depends on your lee. A lot of guys would be totally unaffected by male 'lers. It just depends on who you are.

~K

The size difference is an important point, and the most relevant on this. While I'm not afraid of making gender generalizations when they're legitimate, "sadistic" just doesn't correlate to gender at all.

I think it all depends on whom they are tickling. I think in general, men are more ticklish than women. Therefore, if a man is tickling a woman and vice versa, the woman would seems the better, more sadistic 'Ler. I think men can probably be a little rougher than women too and not as patient. I have never tickled a man, but when I tickle a woman I start slowly, feeling her out. Seeing what works and what doesn't. And just because something didn't work at the beginning of a session doesn't mean it won't work later in that session. I can be as sadistic as my 'lee wants me to be. I can get down right Evil if I played with the right woman.

Men are more ticklish than women? I'd argue the opposite. If anything, men are conditioned that it's not masculine to be ticklish, and are marginally more likely to feel shamed by it, so they purge it better.

As a guy there's an ingrained philosophy about not hurting girls. This has been drilled into me since I was a kid. And while I don't see tickling as hurting, a part of me is always going to be focused on making sure I'm not hurting her. It may be different if I ever tickled a guy, but that's not something I do or look to do so I can't say. On the other hand, my experience is that women more often hit guys. It's generally playful. I don't think there's usually an intent to hurt, but there doesn't seem to be that underlying concern that they may hurt either. Obviously, these are generalizations, but if I were to guess as to why some may be believe that women are more sadistic ticklers, I think this is a big part of it.

I can't tell you the number of women who've told me that when they were girls their brothers would tickle them absolutely mercilessly at almost every chance. I think the protection thing has to do with protecting them from other guys. But when it comes to themselves, that doesn't pertain.

 

[Nedstacey2]

I think there is something about a broken male ego in this post . . . . Curiously, I have never had another woman brag to me that she is the best tickler around, though I have heard that a lot from men. It's as if the recognition is a big deal, like it's some kind of competition.

Yes, that tendency toward braggadocio in men with roots in childhood socialization has long been remarked upon, especially by luminaries in my field like Deborah Tannen. In an article from a few years ago she writes,

Boys tend to use language to negotiate their status in the group — who's up, who's down? — by taking center stage or by talking about who's best at what.
​

Of course here Tannen is referring to males among other males, but I guess it wouldn't be a leap to assume this kind of gasconade would carry over in their relations with women.

Just offering this for what it's worth; I'm certainly not a shill for Tannen's rather broad-brush analyses and views.

 

[rafael]

I can't tell you the number of women who've told me that when they were girls their brothers would tickle them absolutely mercilessly at almost every chance. I think the protection thing has to do with protecting them from other guys. But when it comes to themselves, that doesn't pertain.

Siblings may tend to torture each other, but that's different than how genders treat each other. I know for a fact that I am careful not to hurt women so it absolutely pertains to me. Perhaps I'm an anomaly, but as much as we all want to be unique I doubt that my thinking is all that rare.

 

[brotherted]

Siblings may tend to torture each other, but that's different than how genders treat each other. I know for a fact that I am careful not to hurt women so it absolutely pertains to me. Perhaps I'm an anomaly, but as much as we all want to be unique I doubt that my thinking is all that rare.

I appreciate the thoughtful response, and your self-awareness to consider the possibility that your perspective may not be other guys'. I guess I'm interested in your definition of "hurt." Do you just mean physically injured? Or do you also mean emotional duress, nervous system panic and general frantic duress?

The interesting thing about siblings is that older sister/younger brother is the most common scenario for the female to have the size and weight advantage, and at that age, since there's not a lot of tying up going on, older child sitting on younger child is the most common torture scenario. In those cases, I think there's a gender sadism tie. Just my two cents.