men being ticklish = embarrassing?

[kcantankerous]

But why would tickling result in all of those nasty things happening to you if it's not embarrassing? Hell, i'd rather piss in my pants in jail than be tickled. Why is that?

The jail example is an extreme one but my point still stands. Tickling is a form of domination. Irreparable damage can be done to one's image just by being tickled. I used the jail example because those men act on the impulses the general population suppresses right?

My reaction wasn't a cognoscente one...but a natural innate reaction to someone trying to dominate me. Here's a thought experiment....try poking(tickling) a random guy and try patting that same guy with an open hand not tickling. Which touch is more likely to solicit an angry response?

Take a tough guy actor....say "The Rock"....lets put him in a tickling video. Sure the kink aspect might be weird....but even worse the video would do irreparable harm to how he is seen as a man. Seeing Sarah Kozer and Joanna Krupa in tickling videos has in no way hurt their ability to go mainstream. The case is different for men. Can you imagine Ghaddaffi being tickled while he was in power...how much respect and fear would he lose as a result of that? While the embarrassment would be on a smaller scale in the bar setting amongst friends it's still there none the less. I think being ticklephiles we forget that.

I don't know I think your views of the dominant aspect are strong for you and have their merits. I suppose that is what most appeals to you about the fetish. However it depends, for me I am not that ticklish as far as pokes and prods go so even if someone tried I most likely wouldn't react much. If a girl tries to tickle me I tickler her back and since generally those that are lers even in fun are even more ticklish in return.

A guy never has tried to tickle me and I imagine my response would be similar to yours GQ. I understand your allusions, although I am trying to remove the examples from my head now, but yeah I don't see it as a power shift thing. Granted I am not incredibly ticklish or it takes a while before my ticklishness gets heightened to the point where I actually laugh and squirm.

Thanks,
K

 

[GQguy]

I don't know I think your views of the dominant aspect are strong for you and have their merits. I suppose that is what most appeals to you about the fetish. However it depends, for me I am not that ticklish as far as pokes and prods go so even if someone tried I most likely wouldn't react much. If a girl tries to tickle me I tickler her back and since generally those that are lers even in fun are even more ticklish in return.

A guy never has tried to tickle me and I imagine my response would be similar to yours GQ. I understand your allusions, although I am trying to remove the examples from my head now, but yeah I don't see it as a power shift thing. Granted I am not incredibly ticklish or it takes a while before my ticklishness gets heightened to the point where I actually laugh and squirm.

Thanks,
K

This made me think about an old clip from Harold and Kumar. Fast forward to the 1minute mark:

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Of course this is a joke, but did you notice how he lost the battle of wills by flinching at the punch? That's same position a guy is in when it comes to being tickled. You who is not ticklish is the equivalent of the guy that wouldn't flinch.

I think tickling is very similar to the play that one would see with two young male pups/cubs biting at each others necks and bellies. It's fun as pups but when they grow into wolves that playful biting of the neck or trying to get another male on it's back will result in a fight to the death. Yet, a female wolf and a male wolf will engage in this sort of play as they get ready to mate. Sounds familiar right? It's no coincidence that tickling aside from kissing and massage would be one of the most popular forms of foreplay between a guy and a girl. And it's also no coincidence that one man tickling another man would result in a lack of respect on the part of the guy getting tickled. Isn't that funny? You'd think the focus would be on the guy doing the tickling right? No.

My personal theory is that this sort of play has been passed up the evolutionary chain from the first mammals. Young would "play" performing the very moves that would save their lives as adults. Pups will practice biting at the necks of their siblings and such. We as civilized humans still play these games but we forgot their meaning. But the reality is still there...if I practice wrestling my brother and tickle spot is a potential kill spot or at least a spot that severely inhibits one from from fighting. Being able to resist the tickling sensation means could mean that the individual would be better at fighting despite his painful wounds. Giggling like a little girl(note that cultural reference too. "little girl" is the direct opposite in masculinity to "tough man") would also lend one to believe that they wouldn't withstand large amounts of pain.

It's not that the dominance of tickling is very strong for me, i'm just willing to acknowledge that it's the underlying theme of tickling. It's all about control hence the culture of(bondage, slaves, mistress, tickle abuse, non-consentual) and these were just picked up from the first page of the tickling discussion! Every story/video/toon has one dominant person and one submissive. Sure the roles may switch but there is always one of each. Only in the tickle fights will one see an even match...but even then they are fighting for dominance....in the same way that the Giants and the Patriots are fighting for dominance in the superbowl tomorrow. But again...usually the role of ler(dom) and lee(sub) is assigned to each party making it more about dominance than anything else. Can you imagine if the Giants said they'd be the sub willingly weakening their defenses or just playing defense only while the Patriots the dom kept trying to score on them? Ridiculous right?....Until you realize that in this example the Giants love being scored on and the Patriots love scoring. Dominance in an extreme example.

GQ

 

[kcantankerous]

Hello GQ,

You are deep bro. I see your point of view on the subject. Yeah, if a dude is giggling like crazy in a social setting it would be weird and appear weak. Eh, I have been tickled by girls before but I don't get helpless and it doesn't make me laugh or jump so much cause they are usually quick, and I naturally do not give out weak vibes so to speak. Prototypical jock/gym buff with a combat sports background not ex military like yourself though. I will admit that I do not give off confidence either, but that is another issue.

That background of yours might factor in to your feelings on the subject for that matter. BTW if I have your background all wrong I do apologize and will edit the post accordingly. It's all about perceptions, I might think at the time how embarrassing, when seeing some dude helplessly tickled, still if I saw him later I'd have probably forgotten all about the incident. I suppose what I'm trying to say is I don't think the event would stick with him.

Now if mutual friends new about a guys tickling weakness to the point of exploitation, that is a separate issue all together. If he gets his kicks by being tickled he most certainly will get those opportunities.

Thanks,
K

 

[GQguy]

Hello GQ,

You are deep bro. I see your point of view on the subject. Yeah, if a dude is giggling like crazy in a social setting it would be weird and appear weak. Eh, I have been tickled by girls before but I don't get helpless and it doesn't make me laugh or jump so much cause they are usually quick, and I naturally do not give out weak vibes so to speak. Prototypical jock/gym buff with a combat sports background not ex military like yourself though. I will admit that I do not give off confidence either, but that is another issue.

That background of yours might factor in to your feelings on the subject for that matter. BTW if I have your background all wrong I do apologize and will edit the post accordingly. It's all about perceptions, I might think at the time how embarrassing, when seeing some dude helplessly tickled, still if I saw him later I'd have probably forgotten all about the incident. I suppose what I'm trying to say is I don't think the event would stick with him.

Now if mutual friends new about a guys tickling weakness to the point of exploitation, that is a separate issue all together. If he gets his kicks by being tickled he most certainly will get those opportunities.

Thanks,
K

I'm just glad the last post was even semi coherent! Yes! The tickling incident would likely be forgotten about by yourself after it happened. But I think some other individuals won't be as forgiving. A girl attracted to a guys masculinity couldfind that as a turn off. Seeing as tickling isn't a conscious "like" or "dislike" she can't help but feel unattracted. Much like I can't help but feel attracted to a woman I can tickle. It's very much hardwired. Another example...guy gets tickled at the bar. Acquaintance says "wow, what a pussy". All of a sudden the narrative about that guy completely changes. "Pussy" is an acceptable way to talk about him. Obviously tickling is an ok way to deal with him. Now imagine if this was something that happened once a week. Different buddy's tickling him. How would he be perceived? As a protector? Or someone who is soft? Tickling the girl every week is cute and funny, it brings out her feminine submissive nature. What's unfortunate about the guy is that being tickled....also brings out his feminine submissive nature. Nothing wrong with that if that's what he wants!

Can you imagine tickling your dad? Weird right? Dad is the patriarch, the dom if you will of the household...while playful I can definitely see my dad flipping out and calling it disrespectful yet I'm not sure he'd even know the exact reason why.

My personal feelings on the subject. I don't mind being tickled by a girl...but I will assert my ticklish dominance on her. Something I think she secretly wants. When it comes to me being with a new woman tickling is the most natural way to get over the tension of being intimate for the first time. I can't count how many times a tickle fight that she started goes from both of us having both feet on the ground to her being pinned by myself both of us ready to take it to the next level. Even in a busy setting tickling is a great way to build up sexual tension between two people. As for guys tickling me? I'd rather be punched in the face than continuously tickled by a guy. I literally feel violated when a guy tickles me.

GQ

 

[kcantankerous]

I'm just glad the last post was even semi coherent! Yes! The tickling incident would likely be forgotten about by yourself after it happened. But I think some other individuals won't be as forgiving. A girl attracted to a guys masculinity couldfind that as a turn off. Seeing as tickling isn't a conscious "like" or "dislike" she can't help but feel unattracted. Much like I can't help but feel attracted to a woman I can tickle. It's very much hardwired. Another example...guy gets tickled at the bar. Acquaintance says "wow, what a pussy". All of a sudden the narrative about that guy completely changes. "Pussy" is an acceptable way to talk about him. Obviously tickling is an ok way to deal with him. Now imagine if this was something that happened once a week. Different buddy's tickling him. How would he be perceived? As a protector? Or someone who is soft? Tickling the girl every week is cute and funny, it brings out her feminine submissive nature. What's unfortunate about the guy is that being tickled....also brings out his feminine submissive nature. Nothing wrong with that if that's what he wants!

Can you imagine tickling your dad? Weird right? Dad is the patriarch, the dom if you will of the household...while playful I can definitely see my dad flipping out and calling it disrespectful yet I'm not sure he'd even know the exact reason why.

My personal feelings on the subject. I don't mind being tickled by a girl...but I will assert my ticklish dominance on her. Something I think she secretly wants. When it comes to me being with a new woman tickling is the most natural way to get over the tension of being intimate for the first time. I can't count how many times a tickle fight that she started goes from both of us having both feet on the ground to her being pinned by myself both of us ready to take it to the next level. Even in a busy setting tickling is a great way to build up sexual tension between two people. As for guys tickling me? I'd rather be punched in the face than continuously tickled by a guy. I literally feel violated when a guy tickles me.

GQ

Regarding your last sentence, hell your last paragraph, I agree. In the scenarios you mentioned the same thing applies. To me at any rate. Still women come in different shades, I have scene women go crazy for metro-sexual guys and others who have no aura of masculinity to them. I think when women are feeling promiscuous the might flock to the lion, but when they want to settle down they may go to the cheetah or the panther. Hell if I know, just observed a lot couples over the years.

Thanks,
K

 

[Wade]

My reaction to the question of whether being tickled is embarrassing may have a lot to do with the fact that I'm a total giggler; when I'm tickled relentlessly there is absolutely nothing dignified about my responses.

I've had multiple girlfriends who, I'm pretty sure, found my ticklishness attractive; one of them, who made a habit out of sitting on me and tickling me until I was a basket case whenever she got the chance, probably stuck with me longer than she would have otherwise if she hadn't derived so much entertainment out of my ticklishness. So clearly they didn't tend to see my vulnerability as incompatible with masculinity.

That said, I had another girlfriend--one of the few women I've dated who was actually as ticklish as I was--who tickle-tortured me a few times while we were together and seemed to enjoy doing so. When I got back in touch with her years later thanks to Facebook, I asked about her husband and jokingly said I assumed he was probably ticklish. She sort of stammered and said she could never see herself being married to a man who was as ticklish as--well--who was really ticklish. So for her, it was clearly something that ultimately undermined masculine attractiveness.

 

[kcantankerous]

My reaction to the question of whether being tickled is embarrassing may have a lot to do with the fact that I'm a total giggler; when I'm tickled relentlessly there is absolutely nothing dignified about my responses.

I've had multiple girlfriends who, I'm pretty sure, found my ticklishness attractive; one of them, who made a habit out of sitting on me and tickling me until I was a basket case whenever she got the chance, probably stuck with me longer than she would have otherwise if she hadn't derived so much entertainment out of my ticklishness. So clearly they didn't tend to see my vulnerability as incompatible with masculinity.

That said, I had another girlfriend--one of the few women I've dated who was actually as ticklish as I was--who tickle-tortured me a few times while we were together and seemed to enjoy doing so. When I got back in touch with her years later thanks to Facebook, I asked about her husband and jokingly said I assumed he was probably ticklish. She sort of stammered and said she could never see herself being married to a man who was as ticklish as--well--who was really ticklish. So for her, it was clearly something that ultimately undermined masculine attractiveness.

Interesting take Wade, yeah I should casually ask some of my female friends about this in the future.

Thanks,
K

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

it doesnt really bother me to be truthful

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

Can you imagine Ghaddaffi being tickled while he was in power...how much respect and fear would he lose as a result of that? While the embarrassment would be on a smaller scale in the bar setting amongst friends it's still there none the less. I think being ticklephiles we forget that.

That is true. If someone was waterboarded or tortured seriously, nobody would say anything. But tickling, that would be a problem. Why? Because of the laughter? So its acceptable for girls to be tickled, and not guys? THis really is the ultimate double-standard debate...

 

[kcantankerous]

That is true. If someone was waterboarded or tortured seriously, nobody would say anything. But tickling, that would be a problem. Why? Because of the laughter? So its acceptable for girls to be tickled, and not guys? THis really is the ultimate double-standard debate...

I understand where GQ was going with that. Still I think it just depends, I am not extremely ticklish so I wouldn't run into this problem. However, I really don't see it as an issue. The girls who responded that I noticed don't seem to see it as a problem either. Huh, maybe some of the producers might be able to shed some light on this topic.

Thanks,
K

 

[andy46032]

Some of my guy friends feel awkward if i poke them and they laugh because they are ticklish. Its like they don't wanna show that they are ticklish in front of other guy friends which I guess is kinda understandable lol

Katie, I think I speak for the majority of the guys here when I say you can tickle me any time any place. Have at it!!!

 

[kcantankerous]

Katie, I think I speak for the majority of the guys here when I say you can tickle me any time any place. Have at it!!!

Word

 

[Wade]

A related anecdote that happened just this week: I was sitting at my cubicle when a woman I work with in the office came up behind me and started tickling my sides. (She's done this before.) As I writhed and giggled, trying in vain to evade her darting fingers, one of the desperate things I said as I was trying to beseech her to stop was "Stop it, this is embarrassing."

She laughed, sort of a snort-laugh, and said "Yeah, I should think so!"

I did not survey her afterwards so I don't know how much, if any, of her perception that I should be embarrassed to be tickled (or is it embarrassed to be ticklish?) was related to my gender.

 

[GQguy]

Ticklish=physical weakness This is not part of masculinity. If a man is not seen as masculine he has nothing to lose by being tickled. If a man isseen as masculine he risks being embarrassed and losing that perception by being tickled. No one would think it odd that Pauly Shore was ticklish....seeing "The Rock" get tickled though will be problematic for his career.

Different standards for different genders. But when it comes to being masculine showing weakness counters that. It goes for masculine women too....think about those doms that live the lifestyle....most would be loath to admit that they're ticklish. Feminine men however have no problem admitting this weakness because being masculine isn't what they're about. Who cares if Pauly Shore cries after he bumped his knee? No one. And feminine women? Come on. No one cares if they show physical weakness. It's expected. Mom bumps her knee and she cries. Ok. A buddy bumps his knee and he cries...man...his girlfriend seriously could break up with him after that. I'd expect my sister to!


GQ

 

[Jagermeistered]

Ticklish=physical weakness This is not part of masculinity. If a man is not seen as masculine he has nothing to lose by being tickled. If a man isseen as masculine he risks being embarrassed and losing that perception by being tickled. No one would think it odd that Pauly Shore was ticklish....seeing "The Rock" get tickled though will be problematic for his career.

Different standards for different genders. But when it comes to being masculine showing weakness counters that. It goes for masculine women too....think about those doms that live the lifestyle....most would be loath to admit that they're ticklish. Feminine men however have no problem admitting this weakness because being masculine isn't what they're about. Who cares if Pauly Shore cries after he bumped his knee? No one. And feminine women? Come on. No one cares if they show physical weakness. It's expected. Mom bumps her knee and she cries. Ok. A buddy bumps his knee and he cries...man...his girlfriend seriously could break up with him after that. I'd expect my sister to!


GQ

I think we might be leaving out some other variables, my friend.

Further, flirtation should also be added to the equation.

Just because a female: 'ler/'lee, submissive, dominant, etc... Tickles a masculine man, doesn't have to completely deal with being judgmental. Flirtation(or, physical attraction, or playfulness), carries many degrees...

 

[GQguy]

Just asked the question on "Yahoo answers". We'll see what the vanilla community thinks of "Is it emasculating for a man to be ticklish".

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120208202058AAIZ40A

GQ

 

[kcantankerous]

Just asked the question on "Yahoo answers". We'll see what the vanilla community thinks of "Is it emasculating for a man to be ticklish".

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120208202058AAIZ40A

GQ

If we could make sure only women responded to it since that is what I think the question was geared too to begin with. GQ are you referring to being ticklish in general (like haha or twitching) or being ticklish to the point of helplessness? Just want to be clear.

Thanks,
K

 

[GQguy]

If we could make sure only women responded to it since that is what I think the question was geared too to begin with. GQ are you referring to being ticklish in general (like haha or twitching) or being ticklish to the point of helplessness? Just want to be clear.

Thanks,
K

I want to say to the point of embarrassment. But I guess to the point of helplessness. I'm pretty ticklish....but getting me to laugh will be tough. I'm a pretty masculine guy. Tickling me would get me to twitch. Now if someone tickled me and I let out a yelp and giggled..much like the reaction we look for in tickling videos then it would be emasculating. That's what i'm referring to. I just added that detail to the question.

GQ

 

[GQguy]

ppl who reply in yahoo answers are definitely not the key and the only way to finding out what the vanilla community thinks or not,
And the embarassing thing goes for adult men and women alike, it is embarassing if you are in public or work place
and somebody pokes you and you twitch or giggle for both genres it isn't only male related,
As for masculinity i still don't understand how you link ticklishness with in any means?

In regards to masculinity read my posts in this thread. I guess the only ambiguity in my stance would be "what do you define as ticklish?". Well I am ticklish. But you'd never get me to laugh. I'd define it as being brought to laughter despite not wanting to laugh. The tickler is forcing you to laugh and one cannot help it.

Read my post with this context in mind. Feel free to quote me for arguments sake.

GQ

 

[Wade]

Yelping and giggling is my instinctive response to tickling; I try to fight it but can't, and succumbing in that way is indeed embarrassing. The response of the woman tickling me, especially if it's the first time and they're only just discovering the extent of my ticklishness, often seems to presuppose that my reactions are inherently embarrassing--or am I just reading that into them?

For what it's worth: the woman I work with is kind of a tickler in general (as you might guess from her behavior); I've seen her tickle female coworkers as well and I've never interpreted those coworkers' reactions to be embarrassed (just relief when they get away from her or she stops). Or maybe I'm reading that into them as well?

 

[P4E]

I personally find it embarrassing in public if I'm poked or tickled, more-so in front of other guys; but when i'm around a female friend it's different.

I'm close friends with a girl who found out how deathly ticklish I was by accident...and the next time I was around her place we were chilling on her sofa watching tv, when all of a sudden she literally held my arms back and tickled me underarms and sides, and I just couldn't close my arms...and I'm a pretty strong guy! She paused for a moment and looked down...and saw the effect' her tickling me was having on me...and instead of stopping she just said 'oooh... someone is enjoying this aren't they!' and she just started again until I was an absolute mess...but hell, it felt Good...

That was also the first time I discovered that being tickled by a female is a Massive turn on...like wow...

 

[FLBowler]

Not embrassed, but I'm a huge tease and flirt, once girls find out I'm ticklish they tend to fight back XD